ITT: we share bookstore stories So I just got home from Barnes

>>9406259
Why correct behavior when the perpetrator doesn't know they did anything wrong?

>>9406267
I wasn't correcting anything. But if you can't run a business properly, you get dung on your floor.

Happy birthday, Adolf

>>9406309
And from their perspective some Nazi psycho just decided to shit on their floor for no reason.

>>9406315
Point
_______

Your head

>>9406318
cock ----------> your mouth

>>9406330
Wow good one. U 12 bro?

>>9406338
Do you have a problem with that, o sultan of felching?

>>9406344
I'll beat your ass dude.

>>9406259
>go to big chain bookstore
>pick up Mein Kampf, Lolita, and The God Delusion
>waiting in line for ages
>light up a stogie
>start loudly chatting up old ladies and families in line next to me
>thumb through the expensive knick-knacks next to the checkout, knocking several onto the floor, and repeatedly tell my fellow line-goers to “look at all this horseshit”
>complain that there are too few cashiers per customer, allege that this is the fault of “kikes”
>finally reach the checkout
>array the books so their covers are all facing up
>toss them onto the counter in a radial formation, all facing directly at the cashier, a slightly overweight girl in her early 20s
>she looks down at them and pauses, her jaw dropping in disbelief as the fuhrer himself stares back up at her
>blow smoke into her face and ask “some kind of problem, toots?”
>she coughs and nervously stutters the name of the book, as if to verify that someone could ever purchase it intentionally
>“yeah” I reply, before placing my index finger on the cover of Lolita, and leaning across to her side of the counter
>“and this one’s about a pedophile”
>her face is now wan with shock and horror
>“oh my god,” she mutters
>“God’s dead, honey”
>everyone around us goes dead silent
>pick up the books and leave without paying
>no one even calls security

i got kicked out of a used bookstore yesterday for bartering.

the guy offered me $7 for 3 classic books, and im not supposed to make a counter? i love little book stores but i honestly hope they go out of business

>>9406607
A decent effort.

File: 1492608013943.jpg (40KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 225x225px

>>9406607

>>9406639
What books were they?

>>9406607
I'd like to see Eric Andre reenact this

OP here. I've decided to start dunging on the floor in a bunch of different retailers bathrooms. I'd like to start a movement.

>>9406259
>walk into B&N with large coffee I just got, still too hot to sip
>security guard smiles at me, I smile back
>in the fiction section and there are books on the floor to be stocked, spines facing shelves, lined up vertically so I can't identify them, but they're big hardcovers and looked important, prob $28 each
>I bend over to see what the book is
>before I can touch it I feel my coffee spill all over 5-10 of the books
>I can see the brown liquid soaking into the pages, ruining these books
>place my cup on the nearest shelf
>calmly walk out
>hear what mustve been an employee yell "awww fuck!" as I'm walking out
>the security guard smiles at me, I smile back, then look at the security camera and smile at it with a big shit eating grin

>>9407754
I'll take Stories That Didn't Happen for $400, Alex.

Ok

>Enter bookstore
>Buy books
>Leave

Comme d'habitudeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee