My "shit"-posting days are over /lit/. I've spent

See ya next week

>>9400985

TL; DR.

>>9400985
>The (you)s no longer cut it, the brief jolt of contentment knowing I've hit another ball out of the figurative park is no longer worth it.
says the guy that writes a 500 word 'im leaving and there's nothing you can do about it' post. just turn off your computer and walk away. there's no reason to be so dramatic about leaving one of the least-trafficked boards on 4chan.

>>9400985
Read Tyler the Creator.

which monastery?

>>9401040
The Buckfast one

>>9401067
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf7pJWgJhPU

>>9400985
This was a good post

>>9400985
>I am NOT an Oxford graduate who literally can't express how much an Oxbridge education has benefited my life.
I enjoyed this shitpost quite a lot when I first read it.

is this the beginning of Post-meta-sincere-shitposting? how many store fronts do we have to click untill it all comes tumbling down?

>>9401265
Keep clicking goy

This is the best shitpost ive ever seen in my life

>>9401096
>>9401265
>>9401287
He's just another irony zombie, move along

>>9400985
OP, your posts are consistently enjoyable. Please accept this (you) and my best wishes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQHGsUdG68U

Breece yourself

How can we know this isn't merely one of your new personas?

File: vintagecutegirl.webm (3MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1280x720px

>>9400985
>tfw I am literally all those things
why live?

>>9401278
please rabbi... I tire of the clicking. How many more drug stores in shanghai do I have to validate? what is your end goal?

I enjoyed all of those shitposts OP. But how do we know it was really you?

>>9401322
protip: it is

Its a fucking but now you can feel better

If you're actually serious, then godspeed, it's been a pleasure posting in your threads.

If you're just making more shit up, then I congratulate you on this marvelous shitpost.

include me in the screencap

>>9402035
Fuck off

>>9400985

this was a pretty great shitpost, have a (you)

>>9400985
Haha no you won't

>>9400985
Damn, I've only read some of these shitpost characters. Has anyone got all of them? Of those I've seen, I feel like
> a 19-year-old who will live a good life at your expense
is the classic
>an Oxford graduate who literally can't express how much an Oxbridge education has benefited my life
is great, and
>a young man living in New York and living a lifestyle that could not get any more contemporary
is underrated.

>>9400985
Too circular to make real good pasta, also too incoherent

>>9402625
The memoir one is by far the best, I'm sure that character has been maintained for at least three years by my judgement. I remember it started out with just a neet dude posting about his profound genius, then turned into a whole backstory about a neet living with his mom writing his debut six-part memoir at the library and planning to dress as a pizza guy to deliver it secretly to a publishing company in an empty box. Don't have the links to the other threads but I think someone is running an archive for this board so maybe it's all there.

>>9400985
if you were actually the NEET memoir poster then I have massive respect for you, and am a big fan of your work.

>>9402645
Ah yes, that rings a bell or two. I guess there's a distinction between the single post copypasta ones and the long-running character ones.

>>9402665
>>9402645
>>9402625
i have this bookmarked from memeoir faggot

https://archived.moe/lit/thread/7608333/

Bullshit, because I'm two of those guys. A valiant effort, but my pride as a shitposter won't let me let you take credit for my work.

>>9400985
You'll be back. They all come back. You'll stay. They always stay

>>9402731
A shitposter pretending to be a shitposter pretending to be a shitposter.

>>9400985
>a Husserl scholar working at a Wendy's in Louisiana and playing Pharoah (1999) in his spare time
>a 26-year-old NEET writing his million-plus word debut six-part memoir on a computer at the local public library
>a Norwegian aspiring author spending a year in his grandparents' cabin while writing his soon-to-be published debut novel
I recognize these distinctly.

>travelling to live full-time at a Trappist monastery where I have spent the past three weeks after something of an existential breakdown. I will try as hard as I can to develop a sincere belief in God and dedicate myself to the culture of the monastery where I will probably spend the rest of my life
Is this your new character?

What about the guy writing the book for his son?

Those have been pretty funny so far desu

>>9400985
>On Friday I will be travelling to live full-time at a Trappist monastery
come now, OP, it's one thing to steal Tao Lin's NY schtick, but we have actual trappists here.

>>9400985
Maybe you can read some literature while you're away, so you can discuss it with us. Or keep shitposting, you fucking retard.

Great shitposts, anon.

I enjoy this new one as well.

>>9400985
You sound really fucking pretentious, just shut up.

saged

>>9400985
Incredible post. The Husserl scholar was my favorite character. I wish I had a book to recommend you but I don't. Take care, I hope you find what you're looking for.

>>9400985

I feel for ya OP.

>>9401038
toppest kek

>>9400985
Read Sheboygan Quarterly

>>9400985
You're one stupid faggot

Before you even leave, see if you can just stand still for 5 minutes

I bet you can't

>>9400985
So you're new character is a sad excuse to try and fish for recognition of your other characters?

No matter how many layers of irony the aim is still validation. This confession has meant nothing.

>>9404459
>you're

>>9404461
(you)

>>9400985
Yet another consistently great post by (you).

Wait... One person was behind all these posts?

>>9404522
They're all literary heteronyms. He's the Pessoa of the electric age.

Anyone have copies of these pastas? I would like to revisit the "19 year old living at your expense"

>>9404550
I'm 19 years old.

I am handsome, smart, athletic and virile.

I have a novel that is in it's final editing stage, and a creative writing professor at my college has read the first draft and thinks it's saleable.

I have a girlfriend who is confident, articulate, playful and spontaneous.

I have a small group of interesting friends from different social and academic backgrounds, and I also have many other acquaintances who see me as a reliable source of humour and good company.

Both my parents are alive and in good health.

I have no regrets.

I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.

I am not self-pitying, meek or needlessly humble.

I will live a good life at your expense.

File: stock-photo-16847749.jpg (218KB, 1500x1000px) Image search: [Google]

218KB, 1500x1000px

>>9401038

>>9404556
hehe

>>9400985

I am NOT a Trappist monk, nor will I be, nor will anything in your power make it so.

The very doctrine of these monks, which I believe is Catholic, would vehemently denounce the emulation of any such order via means of oppression-- a bastardization of the order itself.

I hope you're proud, because I'm sure many Trappists aren't. Also, if you are devout, how do you reconcile your actions with God, man?

>>9400985
REAL TRAPP SHIT

>>9401038
Probablly Tylo be chillin

>>9404556

You forgot one.

>I am on the autism spectrum

Seriously why the fuck would you write out all that shit in some dumb ass spacing style that make it look like you were just trying to write something profound or poetic, when in fact your just being egotistical and giving yourself a nice pat on the back. Have you ever once (1 time) experienced ANY form of adversity?

>>9405042
you're not too smart, are you

>>9405051

I know its copypasta. OP is still in this thread. He can see what I wrote.

>>9405059
cringe

>>9404994
what are you even trying to say?

>>9405064

>wow he's right better meme before I lose

>>9405110

OP is just a liar is all. Those aren't his ideas, only the last one is, and I'm saying its a shit idea. I don't think it's lost on anyone that he's not being serious.

>>9404556
It must be nice to be Intelligent, Nihilistic and have a Wicked Sense of Humor

>>9401038
>Taillier Du Creatoir

can i get the norewegian and leper colony ones. and any more youve got. these sound hilarious

>>9400985
See you tomorrow anon

>>9405173
How are those not his ideas, do you have any evidence he's lying? I remember all of his previous threads and personas and I can believe they were all by the same person. I also don't see why OP should be disingenuous about becoming a monk, it sounds like a good idea to me in the situation he's in.

>>9406247
pfft
OP please

>>9405626
>>9401038

>Tylletius Factorum

>>9400985
>I am NOT an existential refugee dedicating his life to a Trappist community trying to escape his own godless despair.

Sorry you're having a rough time, OP. I don't know if romantic gestures are required... get out more, exercise regularly, eat well with lots of fruit and veg, and maybe do so volunteer work with a local charity or church. And stay the fuck away from 4chan, too. Baby steps towards responsible adulthood and living a life that helps others.

>>9406279
i'm not OP, just been here a while.