Which books will help with comedy timing and general sense of

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Which books will help with comedy timing and general sense of humour?

I am now "that guy" in my workplace because I keep getting comedy wrong. Just last week my coworkers were talking and one of them said "I wish we could go home early today, even though I know I'd fall asleep as soon as I got home". I loudly said (from across the room) "oh the iiiirony!" and they all sort of craned their necks over the computer screens between us and fake-laughed since they couldn't tell if I was talking to them. Another time recently a girl at my workplace asked what I was doing for the weekend and I jokingly replied "I'd tell you but then you'd have to kill me" and I only realized later on like a sudden flash that I'd had the saying wrong. Felt like such a doofus. My mom says I'm a funny guy but that's only because I often do this fake seizure thing where I drop to the ground at random and start frothing at the mouth and jerking all over the place. I mean it is funny. I am a funny person. But I can't do that sort of thing at work. I wore face paint to work last halloween as a joke but my boss took me aside and asked me (in a nice way) to go remove it in the bathroom.