I've been on 4chan everyday for a decade now and it feels

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I've been on 4chan everyday for a decade now and it feels more of an "addiction" or more plainly a habit that I get pissed at myself on. I hate it. I don't even use the internet for much else. This feeling started back when I was playing games online, usually don't, and I noticed that memes were mostly used by squeakers to kids in high school, then I began to get insecure about my total investment into memes. It's a lack of self control I readily admit to that. I am a NEET shut in or a recovering one and this place is just a crutch for socializing.

Now /lit/ did help but for the first few years I mostly spouted memes about books I haven't read (having read almost nothing) now I've read some few hundred books. When I started reading it was shocking the amount of self-loathing I could soothe with literature and the insight into how to present myself better and even talk without mumbling out half thought words. In a way having a book on me at all times is why I even met my girlfriend. It's not as bad as I am making it but whenever I feel bored, which is often, I'll find myself on here.