A liberal Greek homosexual philosophy professor and vegan was

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A liberal Greek homosexual philosophy professor and vegan was teaching a class on Voltaire, known deist
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Voltaire and accept that he was the most reasonable being the world has ever known, even greater than Socrates!”

At this moment, a brave, rational, theist mathematician and weeaboo who had studied over 1500 monads and understood the necessity of human and fully supported all metaphysical decisions made by God stood up and held up a rock.

“In which world would this rock be perfect?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite hedonistically and smugly replied “A world free of evil, created by a so-called omnibenevolent, omnipotent, omniscient God.”

“Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was created by God and God, as you say, is real… then it cannot match the perfection of the Creator by definition.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Candide. He stormed out of the room crying those tears so reviled by his Stoic contemporaries. It was then that our professor, Epicurus, wished he had spent less time being a useless layabout seeking aponia and only embraced pain, for the greater good.

The students applauded and all became relieved that the misery of their insignificant lives was for a moral necessity. An eagle named “The Best of All Possible Worlds” flew into the room and shed a tear on the hardcover. Théodicée was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted metaphysical, physical and moral evil for a higher purpose.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Liquet