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/lit/ I need help.
I'm planning on speaking to a psychologist soon but I was wondering if /lit/ had some /lit/ to help me through this.
I don't know how far I should go back, but a quick rundown:
>fostered kid, grew up without my parents.
>once adult, got to know my mother more, but she was sick from unhealthy lifestyle
>she died after about 4-5 years of knowing her but living out of down ( for uni )
On the side:
>I am incredibly attracted to milfs and cougars
>met this one woman at the pub, we hit it off, go back to hers and fuck.
>she was over twice my age ( 55 to 23 )
>have a short "relationship" of sorts, fuck a lot, but I gave it up for some thot that I might be able to have a "proper relationship" with ( which immediately didn't happen)
>since then remained friends, but no sex.
so where it gets weird:
>after a few years of knowing her
>she needs a roomie to share some rent
>I need a place to stay as I continue uni
>2+2=4: I move in. I hope originally to respark some sex but failure after failure just made us both annoyed.
>I still think she's lovely, I give her flowers and shit because I'm attracted to her and I'm fine with not getting much back
>I now know for 100% certainty that she fucks her son ( 34yo )
>he actually flies up from another state to stay the night and fuck.
>he brings a hardhat and boots, and I remember her saying she likes construction workers, so I think there's a bit of RP involved.
Now I don't judge this one bit; infact the problem is just the opposite. I'm plagued by curiosity, I'm even a little jealous because I know that I could never give her the excitement that she gets from this arrangement. I just feel like I'm in a bizzaro world now and I don't know how to stop thinking about it. I don't know if it's because I love cougars or because of my own problems with my mother ( I've never wanted to fuck her but if she was more attractive and in health, would I? ) - I actually don't know how to process any of this and it's interrupting my own thoughts in terms of what I should be doing and how I should be living my life; I just keep thinking back to it and I want to ask her questions and I want to experience what they're going through.
How can I get help?
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>>9322944
I would racunari her so hard, if you know what i mean.
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>>9322944
>>I am incredibly attracted to milfs and cougars
>>met this one woman at the pub, we hit it off, go back to hers and fuck.
>>she was over twice my age ( 55 to 23 )
Clearly you haven't read Oedipus Rex or heard of Sigmund Freud.
Basically, you yearn for your mother and her affection, so you find older women hot because deep in your subconscious, you feel like you are banging your mum.
tl;dr appears to be Oedipus complex.
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>>9322950
I had figured the older women part of it was related to that, sure that's a pretty easy given.
Do you suppose the rest of it is related to very much the same thing?
by "rest" of it I mean my intense curiosity as to why she does it, and how it would make her feel, and the like?
I mean, it's most likely that it's all stemming from the one issue, but how can I deal with it? I can I go without knowing the answers?
It racks my brain so much desu
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>>9323006
>by "rest" of it I mean my intense curiosity as to why she does it, and how it would make her feel, and the like?
Jocasta complex, perhaps? Maybe she was also in a situation that turned her to involving in what you believe she does. Certain events can really do things to people.
>how can I deal with it?
No clue about that one t b h, I guess you could ignore it if the idea doesn't bother you too much.
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>>9323048
>Jocasta complex
thanks, that's actually a really good point because her ex-husband was "effeminate" and dumb, where her son is a little more manly ( even imo ) and is fairly intelligent.
desu when he came over, in the non-sexual way ( we were out in the kitchen chatting, and he goes to get some milk or something ) - she spoke of him like he's the son of god or something. like she has absolute adoration for her son and how successful and popular he is ( which by all means is fairly average / little more than average )
I guess I was just trying to figure that out, it makes sense looking back at it.
the only question I have back now is if it started before or after we dated, but I guess I'll never know.
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>>9323090
Did the son grow up with her or separately?
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>>9323106
grew up with her. I think moved out at 18?
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>topic is over but I still kind of want to talk about it
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Nice blog bre
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>>9322944
Jebote, prve Pentium mašine!
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good old neon by dfw
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