>be postmodern literary critic >get pulled over for running

>>9250455

The premise was good but your execution was lacking.

1/10 barely worth shitposting over.

>police officer arrests you for shit-tier interpretation of the sign regardless of its authorial intent

>be postmodern literary critic
>get pulled over for running a red light
>Well, officer, I thought it was more of a stop sign
I've done this at least five times on accident. praise kek no one has died

if you get stopped for speeding you can demand they show you proof of your speeding. I think sometimes they have a machine that records it and sometimes they don't use it, so you can effectively argue your way out of that one.

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>be police officer
>pull over guy running a stop sign
>"Yes, officer, I read the sign, but I interpreted it to mean 'don't stop.' The intentions of the author are irrelevant to the text's meaning."
>I inform him the law says he gets a fine, but I've interpreted it to mean death penalty.

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>post modernist critic responds with "well I interpreted it differently
>officer replies with "yeah well I've got the gun"

3 steps to figuring out that the only thing that matters in the world is violence

>>9250516
>making this post twenty years after the brave lesbian police officer did the same thing but better
you're a fucking embarrassment.

>>9250518
>the brave lesbian police officer
?

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>be physicist
>run a red light
>get pulled over
>b-but I thought it was green!
>get arrested for speeding

>>9250455
chuckled a bit Tbh

>>9250455
>cop removes shades
>no sweat friendo, i'm not a cop either. the actual cop is tied up in the trunk of this car. i'm just wearing the uniform after i escaped from prison. but because we live in a world of semiological relativity, nobody's really noticed. i look like a cop, i can sound like a cop. there are even times when i can convince myself i am a cop. and guess what? people believe me.
>now, having said all this, i'm going to need us to go to the nearest ATM, and you're going to make a withdrawal. i'm going to need it to skip the country and continue being a menace to society. don't worry, i'm not going to hurt you. i've done this before. just try to remain calm, and nobody will notice

>>9250455
That's actually a hallmark of New Criticism i.e. literary modernism, not postmodernism.

Seriously, how the fuck is the author's intent not important?

I feel like it's just an excuse to completely disregard what the author is trying to do in the first place: make money. Never do "academic" critics look at a book in the context of trying to make it in the marketplace.

>>9252725
>be theoretical mathematician
>get pulled over for going 80 in a 65
>"Officer my velocity was fundamentally unobservable"

>>9252725
That shit must be fast

>Be continental philosopher
>Get pulled over for speeding
>"Sir, are you aware that you were going 20 mph over the speed limit?"
>"Don't misgender me, shitlord. Also you can't know nothing."
>Don't get a ticket

>three logicians in a car get pulled over
>cop walks over and asks "y'all know how fast you were going back there?"
>first one says "I don't know"
>second one says "I don't know
>last one says "yes, officer"

>>9253979
xDDDDD
gender theory is NOT continental, it's basically an anglo trend

>anyone mind if I copy these and e-mail them to my grandmother
>also if anyone knows who I'm quoting, speak up