ITT: Post your favourite Bible excerpts >Good people pass

File: 1326645978.jpg (26KB, 600x750px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 600x750px

Thomas 114 ~ Simon Peter says to them: "Let Mary go out from our midst, for women are not worthy of life!"

File: ezekiel 23 20.png (602KB, 1195x979px) Image search: [Google]

602KB, 1195x979px

>>9201845

File: crucified-monk-filotheou-monastery-Schema.jpg (148KB, 600x900px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 600x900px

>>9201944
But seriously, I like Matthew 5:10 ~ "Blessed are they which are persecuted
for righteousness' sake: for
theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

And what will ye do in the day of visitation, and in the desolation which shall come from far? to whom will ye flee for help? and where will ye leave your glory?

I like some of the comedic images the Old Testament conjures up.

>The man said to Eli, “I have just come from the battle; I fled from the battle today.” He said, “How did it go, my son?” The messenger replied, “Israel has fled before the Philistines, and there has also been a great slaughter among the troops; your two sons also, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead, and the ark of God has been captured.” When he mentioned the ark of God, Eli fell over backward from his seat by the side of the gate; and his neck was broken and he died, for he was an old man, and heavy.
1 Samuel 4:16-18

And the watchman told, saying, He came even unto them, and cometh not again: and the driving [is] like the driving of Jehu the son of Nimshi; for he driveth furiously.

File: yfw godcucks.gif (1MB, 250x355px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 250x355px

>And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD: "If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the LORD's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering."

>Then Jephthah went over to fight the Ammonites, and the LORD gave them into his hands. He devastated twenty towns from Aroer to the vicinity of Minnith, as far as Abel Keramim. Thus Israel subdued Ammon.

>When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of tambourines! She was an only child. Except for her he had neither son nor daughter. When he saw her, he tore his clothes and cried, "Oh! My daughter! You have made me miserable and wretched, because I have made a vow to the LORD that I cannot break."

>"My father," she replied, "you have given your word to the LORD. Do to me just as you promised, now that the LORD has avenged you of your enemies, the Ammonites. But grant me this one request," she said. "Give me two months to roam the hills and weep with my friends, because I will never marry."

>"You may go," he said. And he let her go for two months. She and the girls went into the hills and wept because she would never marry. After the two months, she returned to her father and he did to her as he had vowed.

Judges 11:30-39

See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand.

For I lift up my hand to heaven, and say, I live for ever.

>>9201845
What kind of a shit translation is that?
>NLT. New Living Translation.
Good Lord, son, lay off that shit.

>>9202338
First one I googled, the one that I adore automatically replaces any other version I read. NIV is my favourite version.

>The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil
>Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.

>>9201930

damn simon peter woke AF

>>9202068
>old fat man dies from falling off his seat

pretty good slapstick

File: Homer_British_Museum.jpg (20KB, 220x277px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 220x277px

>>9202116
you talkin to me bitch

File: tumblr_inline_nt0vb5equP1spsojg_1280.jpg (38KB, 600x568px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 600x568px

I've just read Ecclesiastes today and I've got to say that was some pretty damn good shit. Almost made up for all the bs that came before like Psalms.

>6:3 If a man beget an hundred children, and live many years, so that the days of his years be many, and his soul be not filled with good, and also that he have no burial; I say, that an untimely birth is better than he.

>6:4 For he cometh in with vanity, and departeth in darkness, and his name shall be covered with darkness.

>6:5 Moreover he hath not seen the sun, nor known any thing: this hath more rest than the other.

>>9203914

Yeah Ecclesiastes is one of my favorites