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Hello /Lit/, I am writing about human experience. This is what

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Hello /Lit/,

I am writing about human experience. This is what I have so far. Please critique me. I encourage an open discussion of human experience as well.

>There are many different ways and ideas as to how humans experience the World. We can look at the concepts of rationalism and empiricism as standards set by previous philosophers, but we must also grow and evolve those ideas. Firstly I would like to separate the mind of the individual and how they perceive and the mind of the collective. I believe that humans are rich, conscious beings that work in their best effort to do what is right for them and those around them. They will struggle at times, and try to find the easiest way to do most menial tasks while developing rich work ethics and strong morals in order to improve on the society they live in. The individual focuses on creating an environment that best suits their needs from the things that they have perceived to make them happy. We know that humans experience through the five senses and through those experiences, they develop certain traits that will usually be a part of them for the rest of their lives. These perceptions cause us to form our perceived reality and to live a life in part to the things that affect us. The World as an individual knows it is an amalgamation of everything that the individual perceives, whether that is smells, sights, tastes and so on. Through those perceptions the individual is able to piece together they perceive as the real world. There is no true reality, as humans are only able to perceive their environment. The real world as humans know it is whatever they face how they interact with it and what they take away from it. Everything in life is a perception, but the way people perceive things is completely subjective. When we think of humans as a collective on the other hand, we begin to warp the reality that we have set ourselves on an individual level. We no longer hold as many truths close to us and rely on the perceptions of others to help grow ours. We can look at the very base line of things of how humans learn through in society. This does not account for everyone, as there are those who do not learn in schools, but for the most part humans develop their cognitive processes through things such as school and interactions with adults. The base ideas that were given to them were also just teachings from others. They learned through not only experience of the self but of the experience from others. In my life it has been harder for me to learn from others than it was to learn on my own. I had trouble understanding how others felt until I truly felt it. The collective hampers the training of the self, but also enables it.
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>The collective hampers the training of the self, but also enables it. We live our lives very differently depending on our perceptions of things. As a collective we are trained to think a certain way and to interact a certain way to follow into a general idea of society. We are slowly starting to devolve from that process with the advent of the internet. People are slowly developing new cultures and ideas on their own, finding those who also believe that and melding into a new life that they feel is better suited for them. The collective feeds off of individuality, but warps the individual who makes that reality.
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>>9193870
>>9193872

I do not know: first; how old you are; second; why you are writing this.

Your work gives the impression that you are either young or an inexperienced writer, which has nothing to do with your natural ability, your style will just evolve with time.

You need to structure your writing. Use subheadings to do this. 'Individuality and the Collective' could be one. You begin to explore various topics on different levels and these topics seep into each other making your work hard to follow.

My major advise is to read more; you will learn from the authors writing style.

One minor point:

Try to avoid saying things such as 'I would like...' and 'I think'. They are implied.

"Firstly I would like to separate..." should read "I separate...".
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