Lit stories >be me, browsing cool second hand bookshop, in

The best part of these stories is knowing that authors will most likely fail to reproduce.

>>9175683
>authors will most likely fail to reproduce or be published.

>>9175672
I don't know. Everybody has to begin somewhere. Dorian could lead to the Decay of Lying, Walter Pater, then culture. When I was younger I might have trird to encourage to read more with my penis. But now that I think about it, that was a mistake. Your position is healthier, by far!

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>be me
>in used book store
>in crowded line waiting to check out, it's on a crowded busy street on a college campus
>get pushed by crowd
>see a cute tiny girl smiling up at me
>say nothing and don't acknowledge her because my dick is small and I have no self esteem
>many years later after serveral failed suicide attempts take hormone replacement therapy to become a woman
such is life

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>live in countryside bypass town with like 20 buildings max
>local charity shop has shit book selection
>visit friend at uni in the city
>we go to a second hand bookshop
>really nice place, clean and tons of shelves packed with lots of quality literature
>everyone in there posturing and hovering near good books to look cultured
>sperg the fuck out like a kid in a candyshop and get myself like three stacks of books all the while hooting "OOOOOOO" "OH LOOKY THERE" "AHHHHH IT'S [insert classic book]"
>everyone scowling at me in disgust
>spent like $40 on books and needed the lady at the shop to give me a big cardboard box to carry them all

I just like books man

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>>9176796
the view from my bed room
have a good day sir never-saw-a-a-book

>>9176821
ew fuck that

>>9176821
>buenos aires

I'm so sorry.

>>9176821
What did he mean by this?

>>9176821
I'm jelly hermano.

I don't know why I still post here desu, I was looking for /fit/ whilst drunk and just stayed. I've never read a book in my life.

>>9176796
hey bud, no shame, i'm the same way. inversely i like to go to barnes and noble and demad books they never have. it's intensely pleasurable tomwatch the guys stand there, knowing they don't have it, knowing i know they don't have it, i usually don't want them to look it up, but they typically offer.

saw an amy schumer book and laughed at it with my wife for a few minutes though. i wish there were good used book stores nearby, there's only one i know of.

>>9176796
kek I do that whenever I'm in a new bookshop for the first time

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>>9175672
>be me
>at main branch library
>all kinds of bums homeless and weirdos all the time
>browsing the fiction section
>I look up and notice a black guy staring at me as he mumbles a very effeminate "damn"
>oh fuck
>switch to other section but he follows me and keeps staring
>pretend I get a call
>oh hey bro are you coming in your car with all our other angry friends? yeah they can kill people, ok I'll be right outside
>leave

Havent gone back in like three years.

>>9176892
Read a book. Also welcome to /lit/, you can't be dumber than the average around here.

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>>9176916
>>oh hey bro are you coming in your car with all our other angry friends? yeah they can kill people, ok I'll be right outside

>>9176892
Start with the Greeks.

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>>9176789
Top kek, son

>go to bookstore
>find myself browsing trough the pseudo scientific spiritual bullshit section more and more

Two weeks ago i bought Nectar of the BaghavadGita by Swami Prabhupada and a book in italian about astrology, that quickly started spewing warnings about an epidemia of cancer that is to come

>>9176789
wanna date?

>years ago
>go to the library and get a lot of books for my classes
>get out of the building and go for a walk with my gf
>we enter to a big conglomerated bookshop
>talking about which books should we steal if we have the opportunity
>notice the guard is watching us very carefully
>decide to get out without buying or stealing anything
>alarm sounds
>gf gets really anxious while I chill because I know we didn't steal anything
>guard comes at me and asks
>"Do you have any books in your backpack?"
>"Why, yes. A lot of them"
>gf looks at me terrified
>"Sir, I'm going to need to ask you to open your yadda yadda"
>open my backpack
>full of library books
>gf laughs histerically
>guards tells us to just go

>went to the second hand bookstore
>old lady comes in, is returning a Margaret Atwood novel says she found her too miserable
>my stressed and tired brain thought she'd said Ayn Rand (don't ask me why)
>i laugh and smile
>the old lady sees me and asks if i've read her
>i say no but 'she's the one who says love is a selfish emotion right'
>awkward silence
>woman replies: sounds like her

I paid for my copy of Absalom, Absalom! and got outta there

>>9176916
One time I was waiting for someone to show and they didn't (turned out we were waiting at two different places) but there was a dude waiting where I was waiting. He asked me what I was doing and I said waiting. Eventually I gave up and decided to go and grab a beer so it wasn't time wasted and he followed me. Asked me was I was gonna do now. I said have a beer and go home. He said I was pretty and wanted to go with me. I said no thank you, I rather be alone right now.

But he wouldn't leave. He sort of fell back, but I knew he was following me. I was never so terrified in my life. I ducked into a store and he stood out there, watching me. The store was closing, so I had to leave, ducked into another store, and he stood outside that one, too. I got so nervous, I dropped a beer. Had to leave again.

AND ALL MY FUCKING FRIENDS WOULDN'T ANSWER THEIR FUCKING PHONE.

Eventually I just went into a burger joint and he just stood on the curb, staring at me. For like ten, fifteen minutes. Eventually he left, but I stayed in the joint for like, two hours to make sure he was really gone.

Fucking terrifying.

Anyway, closest I ever got to being raped and murdered.

>go into small bookshop
>order a cup of earl grey, buy a copy of McKendrick's Crocodiles & Obelisks
>read it listening to the light jazz
>it's ok
>ask store owner for recommendations on 18C gothic horror
>he sells me two Arthur Machen books
>walk home through the countryside while reading

>>9178221
>walk home through the countryside

where do you live senpai
that sounds comfy as fuuuuuck and i'm jealous - i like living in a big city but it can get so noisy at times

>>9178224
He made it up

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>>9175672
>Be 18yo me
>live in a shitty small town, demographics don't really fit /lit/'s so don't expect fellow countrymen to be /lit/erati in general
>get on bus
>miraculously it's not crowded, see free seats in the distance
>rush over
>manage to sit down
>2/10 comfy, this gon be a bad ride
>look forward
>see pic related
>mfw.jpg
>get phone out of pocket, take pic
>start wondering what kind of person would write that
>has to be a girl, for the rounded handwriting
>go home, post pic on /lit/
>no replies, what was I thinking?
>but, what if I could actually find her?
>ost the picture every now and then for a few months, hoping she'd browse /lit/ as well
>sometimes feel like I'm wasting my time but it seems almost fateful that I ran into what she wrote so keep posting every now and then
>a year goes by
>one day get reply from someone who claims to be her
>omgomgomgomg.jpg
>gives me skype address, we talk
>she's a qt3,14159265358979
>"wow anon, I can't believe you ran into what I wrote! Infinite Jest is like, my life"
>talk to her everyday for a weel about mostly lit related stuff, she's really into DFW, Gass, Pynchon, DeLilo, the list goes on
>learn a couple things about her: she's 17, wants to study psychology and writes in poetry and prose (recites me some of her poems on skype)
>turns out she lives 5 minutes away
>she wants to meet
>finally the time comes
>tell her to meet at a cafe halfway between our homes she asks if I could show her my personal library later
>"yeah sure why not"
>get there
>we arrive at the same time so we meet in the street
>she says "hi anon" with a smile in her face "how are y-"
>slap that bitch accross the face
>she screams and freaks out
>face is read
>cries/screams "WHAT THE FUCK ANON WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT"
>"that's for reading meme po-mo garbage"
>"pleb"
>calmly walk back home
>go back to posting on /lit/

>>9178221
machen is not 18th century, though

>>9178310
I read this as the qt3.14 slapping anon for reading DFW. I came.

>>9176796

>be you
>actually be happy for a moment
>place value in something because it's different
>other people don't understand

That actually sounds like a really comfy moment bro.

Reminds me, yesterday I was reading Trouble in Paradise by Zizek and he was going on about how people's expectations have exponentially risen alongside technology and globalisation.

Then I had a conversation with my dad where he told me how much more it used to mean traveling to London in order to go to HMV and even get McDonalds.

Not sure what my point is, but it must be nice placing value into things because they're not readily available.

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>>9178310
gud

>>9178310
Kek'd

>have school friend who is obviously gay but is closeted
>gift him Giovanni's Room as my way of saying it's no biggie
>he loves it
>he loves me
>he thinks I gave it to him because I'm gay
>friendship falls apart

Damn you James Baldwin.

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>want to be more informed so i can better discuss the topic of thermonuclear warfare
>read a book (pic related) about it
>learn that 95% of things people think and say about the topic are easily-debunked falsehoods
>cant discuss the topic anymore without becoming frustrated with others

Reading was a mistake. Don't fall for the education meme, friends.

>>9178748
It is quite badly dated though and some of the stuff is iffy on the factual side.

>>9178175
>xD I have a gf
the only thing of substance in your """"story"""

>>9176796
dude, i'd be charmed if i saw more people like you in bookshops - enthusiasm for literature is nothing to be ashamed of, albeit you did sound like a middle aged mom who didn't know any better

>>9176821
that junction is lovely to stare at, shame about all the ugly buildings

>>9178341
I don't really remember how the conversation went, I'm happy with the books.

>>9176821

they did a good job rebuilding after the bug strike

>>9178966
yeah, machen's p. great

>>9178748
>>learn that 95% of things people think and say about the topic are easily-debunked falsehoods
>>cant discuss the topic anymore without becoming frustrated with others
>cant point out the falsehoods in others statements to them clearly and concisely

>>9178310
there's one of these for itaots right

>>9180194
I can tell you don't talk to average people very much.
People dont like being corrected, even moreso if its about a political opinion. They wont listen and will just stop talking to you if you persist.

>>9175672
>be me, entering cool second hand bookshop
>owner eats his dinner on front desk
>tell him bon appetite
>he says thank you
>start looking for books

>>9176796
Don't worry, you seem like you were probably the most pleasant and least pseud person in that bookstore

>>9180416
underated

>go to cool book shop in Charlotte
>pick up Gravity's Rainbow
>qt working at front desk
>buy book from the guy at the other register
>go home
what a tale i've told

>be 19
>in community college program to transfer to 4 year school
>friends with /lit/ qt that goes to the 4 year school i want to go to
>friends with a guy who also goes to the 4 year school
>they're in the same intro to philosophy class
>be talking to the girl on msn about the class
>they have an essay due
>tell my friend i'll write his essay to flex my brain power
>mfw i'm actually not smart at all
>make bet with girl that if i get a better grade she has to have sex with me
>she agrees
>stay up all night trying to finish the essay, material is too confusing
>the next day i have to tell friend that i didn't do his essay
>it's due that day

>talking to same qt on facebook about poetry
>i don't know shit about poetry
>google some random tennyson poem and say it's my faovrite
>tell her i'll write a poem for her birthday
>her birthday passes and i didn't write her a poem
>she comes over one day, write a shitty poem in five minutes before she gets there
>mfw when she says she likes it to make me feel good

>go to same girl's house one day to watch 120 Days of Sodom
>watch the movie
>download n64 emulator on her computer because she likes silicon valley
>in her room
>asks me what i want to do now
>i leave and go home

>be at 4 year college, philosophy major
>post descartes give her the dick meme on philosophy program facebook page
>no one comments

>take semiotics course because is sounds cool
>show up on first day, it's all girls, save for like two guys
>teacher asks a question and makes everyone in the class give an answer
>my turn is coming up, have nothing to say
>my turn comes, talk for like two minutes
>have no idea what im saying but just keep talking anyway
>teacher doesnt comment on my answer, just moves on to the next person

>be in epistemology class
>qt girl in tutorial asks a question
>write her question down
>go home and write my own answer to it
>write like a full page answer
>give her the paper the next week
>she actually thinks it's pretty cool
>never talk to her again

>make friends with girl who lives in my neighborhood and goes to my college
>invite her over to study
>go to my room
>mfw we actually sit and read in silence for an hour

>be in grad school
>first day of class
>leave class with girl and we go to the bookstore to buy books together
>pick out all the books really quickly
>she takes her time
>go to line and pay for books
>stand outside of bookstore for ten minutes waiting for her
>classmates taking outside see me standing there for ten minutes

>be in grad school
>every week i bring a different book to class and read in the classroom before the class starts
>always start in the middle so it looks like i've been reading it for a while
>never actually read the book

>>9180791
holy fuck

youre pathetic

>>9180791
I hope this has been cathartic for you

>>9176842
McDonald's advertising.

>>9178208
And then they want respect.

>>9178310
Holyy i want more

>>9176821
wtf that's Córdoba, why would you name it buenos_aires.jpg
mfw i live 10 blocks away from you

>>9180791
You're still a virgin, aren't you?

>>9178834
There's no need to be a dick about it.

>>9181049
You know what that means, right? Hot gay sex.

>>9178208
>He said I was pretty and wanted to go with me

Reminded me of when I was 16ish. I was having dinner at a nice restaurant with my family. Some very drunk older guy stumbled into my dad while getting up from his table. He apologized and looked around the table. When he saw me, he said I was gorgeous and that he wanted to sculpt me. Pretty sure he thought I was a girl as I had long hair, no facial hair and am scrawny as shit.

>>9180416
I do this every day and constantly get the police called on me

>>9180318
Try to get your facts in, if you hear someone say something incorrect, and you are 'certain' you are correct, you must say "that is actually incorrect, and I can prove it to you"... thats all you need to say... whatever they say back "what..!! what!! wah wah wah"... "you said a statement, that I can prove is incorrect... I only care about facts and the truth... if such is the same for you, then you might wish to hear me out... may I proceed without interruption?..yes, I may"

>>9176821
Perfect view to commit suicide to (which I strongly recommend, by the way,)

>>9176916
>go to public library
>theres a literal neckbeard watching porn 3 computers away from little kids on youtube

such is mississippi life

>>9180791
wew nice blog post, TL DR version please?

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>be 13
>like reading but not really into classics yet, mostly Chrichton-tier shit
>find a book by a new author
>read it, when I'm done, lend it to a friend
>he also likes it
>be at the bookstore, decide to be nice
>buy two more of his books so I can read one and lend the other to my friend and switch
>my book was alright, worse than the other
>but his
>this fucking faggot pleb-tier author decides to put a fucking clumsy, poorly-written, out-of-nowhere, lesbian orgy in the middle of his novel
>this faggot, pleb-tier friend of mine decides to share with the class
>obviously telling them that it was my book
>mfw this reputation carried throughout the rest of middle school
>mfw four years later I was talking to this girl I like and she made a joke about this event
>mfw she didn't even go to middle school with me

anyway the moral of the story is never read anything that doesn't make you look pretentious

>>9176836
>he doesn't want to live in the labyrinthine chaos that produces true artistės of the written word

>>9181486
>such is mississippi life
oh god... you just reminded me mississippi exists, now my night is ruined

>>9176796
> "OOOOOOO" "OH LOOKY THERE" "AHHHHH IT'S [insert classic book]"
You deserved those scowls tbqh

>>9178208
Please don't continue that annoying tumblr habit of randomly having sentences in all caps

>>9181532
>oh god... I'm a faggot
Mississippi is the best; stop writing with this autistic holy i want more reddit style and go to bed

>>9181486
That sounds like Latinamurica.

>>9181592
Your state is complete garbage and you know it. Oklahomans pride themselves knowing that they're always at least better than Mississippians.

>>9181606
Mississippi is a million times better than half the other states. It's much better than boring fly over states or faggy over crowded states

>old bookshop in the city centre (U.K.)
>the Place is falling to pieces inside but has rugs and jazz and "quirky" ornaments
>owner literally has two old prosthetic hands that look like they're made out of fibreglass
>step on aforementioned rug to get past the stacks to the next row
>rug hiding a loose floorboard that tips up at the other end
>small book case with like 10 books on it lifts at one corner, enough to spill liks 6 books on the floor
>fake hand owner just looks at me over the counter like "lol no hands"
>gotta bend down and pick up his shit books in his dilapidated as fuck shop
>put them back and scurry out like a spaz.

As a side note he has an upturned picture frame on the counter that has coins on it so when's you give him paper money he slides the coins towards you like a blackjack croupier moving chips

>>9181614
really? come on buddy

>>9181673
Here's daddy's (you) that you've been begging for.

>>9181486

i work in a library and desu it's like that regardless of where you are

>>9180791
you are the worst human being i have ever heard from right up there with that group of soliders in iraq that raped and executed a little girl then covered it up

ive been here for years now you really are the worst

>go to a nice second hand bookstore
>find a nice leatherbound edition of assorted Joseph Conrad stories
>bring it to the counter
>buy it from the nice old man who owns the shop
>thank him and leave, eager to read the book
>take the bus home and read on the bus
Thank you for reading my greatest story

>>9178175
>gf

Normie get out

>>9181592
I was joking bruvh, I like Mississippi, have nothing against it; thought it would be funny to say, and I must say, I think I was right

>>9180713
Most realistic and relatable story in the thread. That archetype is increasingly applicable to my life.

>be in environment where I and a cute girl both make it apparent we like books without having to act contrived
>often but not necessarily include fleeting and flirty eye contact
>do nothing, make no move
>leave
>think about her for weeks
>regret it until you repeat with a new girl
>regret that interaction
>repeat ad mortem

Every time. Literally tonight I went to a local university's rendition of Coriolanus because a cute girl my friend saw on tinder mentioned the play in her profile and I wanted to meet her. Saw her at the play and left afterwards without speaking to her half out of cowardice and half out of disgust that they botched the play. Am now drinking at a bar alone and regretful, but not exactly sure what I regret.

>>9176796
>"OH LOOKY THERE"
fucking side destroyer
are you 53 or some shit?

>>9180791
Kekd, thanks for the post. It's pathetic but I totally relate and am laughing at myself as much as I'm laughing at you.

>>9181614
LOVING EVERY LAUGH
Mississippi isn't even the best fucking state that starts with M (that's Michigan)

>>9180318
>People dont like being corrected, even moreso if its about a political opinion.
all the more reason to correct them
the stubborn ones, the know-it-alls, and the holier-than-thous, they all need correcting the most
everyone deserves to know the truth

>>9181951
Fuck off namefag

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>>9180318
You can't correct an opinion stupid. You're confusing arguements for brainwashing.

>>9181470
>Carry on reading! Or you will die

sounds like a lose-win to me buddy

>>9178748
what'd you learn?

>>9176796
are you a cute anime girl?

>>9180791

>>be at 4 year college, philosophy major
>>post descartes give her the dick meme on philosophy program facebook page
>>no one comments

favourite moment of this thread so far. yikes..

>>9180791
I hate you so much.

>>9181942
You regret being a coward. Stop being a fucking coward.

>>9180791
shine bright like a diamond

>>9182455
"Just stop being socially anxious"

Gee thanks, that solves everything. Can't believe I hadn't thought of it.

>>9182482
Well not that you have maybe you can work on it, thank me later

>>9182494
>>spend the next three weeks occasionally remembering high school and cringing at my old self
yelp "no!" and slap yourself in the face, then quick do something else. it helps.

>>9182508

>Well not that you have

He is trying, m8. Trust me. He is trying very hard. I know his spectrum woes all too well.

>>9181505
No. Moral of the story: Don't lend books to people

>>9181065
did...did you really take offense to that?

>>9176789
Any more pictures of Robbie?

>>9180791
This was painful to read

>>9181505

kek

>>9180791
Are these your notes from underground?

>>9180791
Hahababhahahhahahahah

>plan to read a book
>end up reading lit threads

>>9178208
Why didn't you punch him.

>>9182887
I'm a 5'2" girl.

>>9178310
I was expecting a romantic ending, what is this.

>>9182899
/lit/ memery

>>9182895
(male) or (female)?

>Be me in 3rd year uni lecture.
>Get asked by the professor to say which passage of a student essay is the worst written.
>Good looking so people expect me to not be a brainlet.
>I pick a mess of long sentences.
>tfw it's her favorite part.


>At pub with friends.
>One studies physics and we're all discussing it lightheartedly.
>I make a joke about having a theoretical degree in astrophysics.
>He spergs out and doesn't get the joke.


>Again at pub with friends.
>This time talking about da greeeks
>I mention how they are the best and I really love their stuff
>Qt girl airhead says 'oh yeah I love them too'
>!!!
>Shes asks who my favorite god is
>Have to contain my disgust that she didn't understand I was talking philosophy.
>Fuck her later anyway.


>At a party and a Qt girl is nearby.
>We've met before so come up with a chat-up line.
>'Hey. Fuck me if your name isn't sarah, you're gorgeous'
>'Oh hi anon! Are you drunk, that doesn't make any sense! My name isn't sarah.'
>We'd hooked up before- I make an excuse and leave because shes obviously retarded.

>>9181532
It's not so bad. It's kind of creepy in how they literally think gay people don't exist, but other than that it's pretty comfy sometimes. I used to live with some niggers in the ghetto when I was broke and they were pretty chill desu.

>>9182482
social anxiety is a made up condition for betas to continue justifying being bitches

>>9180791
>>go to same girl's house one day to watch 120 Days of Sodom
>>watch the movie
>>download n64 emulator on her computer because she likes silicon valley
>>in her room
>>asks me what i want to do now
>>i leave and go home
Literally HOW do you fuck this up

like you were 2 seconds away from actually losing virginity

>>9182970
Kek

>>9180791
Jesus man. So much cringe. Thanks for the stories, they're disturbingly relatable.

>>9180791
the worst part is I can slightly relate to some of this, despite knowing how awful all of this is

>>9180791
>be in epistemology class
>qt girl in tutorial asks a question
>write her question down
>go home and write my own answer to it
>>write like a full page answer
>give her the paper the next week
>she actually thinks it's pretty cool
>never talk to her again
wtf

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>>9183189
Autism

>>9180791
This makes me want to punch something.
I feel like I can now relate to parents who have a loser child.
A mix of disappointment and anger. Incredible.

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>>9176821
Tú ciudad es mierda, senpai

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>>9184175

>>9182904
You mean /mu/

>in a library
>theres an old man reading
>he slumps down a little
>look to see whats up, turns out he fell asleep
>some kid walks over and takes the old guys phone from the table
>say nothing

>>9182577
No.

>>9178718
They make Hallmark cards for that purpose but you had to get all complicated.

>in coffee shop reading paper
>Guy I know sitting at next table, telling his friend "yeah, I have an early morning Greek class"
>Turn around and tell him "early morning Greek class, huh? In my day we just called that "buttfucking""
>Oops, that isn't actually the guy I know at all
>Apologize and leave, wasn't even done with the paper
Sorry about the nested quotes, one of you published writers wanna tell me how that works?

>>9180791
This post is art.

>>9175672
>At the secondhand bookshop with a friend of mine
>Just browsing whatever
>See beautiful 5'1 girl come in
>Modest dress, huge rack, simple but elegant jewelry
>Creepely kinda follow her around
>She notices me staring at her quite a bit
>After around 10 minutes I muster up the courage to go tell her I think she's gorgeous
>Surprisingly says thank you, really friendly
>Glance down at what she's reading
>Sword of truth series, some asimov, but mostly michael chrichton
>Cringe inside
>Say goodbye
>Didn't ask her for her number but I probably wouldn't have gotten it because I'm a fat fuck
>At least I shower and dress nicely though.
>Friend teases me the rest of the day

>>9184684
I hope you get hit by a truck

>>9176796
do the same thing whenever I see new Franklin leather bound books at the half-priced books I shop at. swore out loud once when looking at the old pulp books.
>When the fuck did c.s. Lewis write a space trilogy?

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>11 years ago
>be friendly country kid (20) and move to the big city
>also very naive
>work in movie shop
>friendly to all customers
>older guy (in his 50's) always comes in smelling of booze but is always friendly
>work mates say he is a psychologist and that he's gay
>That's cool, to each his own
>one day he comes in with a book he wants me to read
>the charioteer
>read it
>mfw he asks my opinion of the book

>>9178207
lmao

>>9178310
good

>>9181659
>fake hand owner just looks at me over the counter like "lol no hands"
kek

>>9180791
this is going in my cringe folder

>>9184819

use apostrophes for the interior quotes and speech marks for the exterior ones.

>Eg:
Harry laughed. "Are you serious? You really believe in this 'Scientology' bullshit?"

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>be me, browsing cool second hand bookshop
>see a hot ass bitch 5'5ish in front of me.
>get closer
>about to make my move
>she turns around
>she's like 80 years old
Fucking Gamestop

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>>9178208
>follow people around frequently
>rape and murder are entirely out of the question, just want to observe qts
>know that when they see me they'll think I'm some sort of murderer or rapist
It's pleasant to watch someone serenely going about their business. If only it were socially acceptable to do so.

>>9185295
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_watching
It's okay dude, I like to order food to go and eat it on various benches and just muse to myself about people around me.

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>Be me
>Browsing used books in used books bookshop
>Went there many times and still do every week or so
>Really cheap and books are still in good condition, plus a classics section with a good amount of book every time I go
>One time there
>Got 3-5 books with me and about to go pay
>Suddenly an asian qt enters the store and browses books
>Pretend to browse books despite being done so I can look at her
>Mfw she's taking forever
>Give up, decide to go buy my books and leave
>Mfw she's done just as I'm about to leave
>I pretend to browse books again
>Store only accepts paper money, she can't pay
>Mfw I don't have any money to pay for her
>She says she's going to come back tomorrow to buy her books
>Naturally I came back tomorrow too, at the hour she said she would come
>Didn't see her
>Never saw her again
>Never saw a qt girl in that shop ever again
>Every time I go there I bring along with me the hope of something like that happening again

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>about to enter university, several years ago
>was going through russian lit phase
>had just began reading w&p
>read something along the lines of "it's good for a man to have intelligent feminine company"
>hey, that's right, female characters are always more interesting
>first class of the day sit next to a qt
>hold conversation and try to be animated, forcing smiles frequently
>going well but I'm getting exhausted
>class finishes
>miss the rest of my classes
>never speak to anyone there again
>drop out in two months
>going to start attending community college later this year
don't fall for the women meme

>>9185254
Having astigmatism sucks.

>>9181465
Hi Quentin

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>>9180791
You can't be real

>>9181505
At least it wasn't Gravity's Rainbow.

>>9183175
>social anxiety is a made up condition for betas to continue justifying being bitches
No. Social anxiety is what it feels like to be a beta

>>9183175
WOW!! psychology BTFO by a random poster on an anime imageboard!!

>>9186027
Student of the "science" of psychology detected. Sorry you wasted all that time.

>>9176796
Sounds like me

>>9178310
Not too bad

>>9185034
>I shower
Well, thats something anon. Its something.

>>9180791
any books like this?

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>>9178973
Kek you son of a bitch.

>>9177220
kek

>>9175672
lol

>be me
>get fired
>still 40 mins till train home comes (I commute to work)
>decide to go to big bookstore near the station and browse a little to calm myself down, maybe find something interesting for the train journey
>on the way see a man with a (closed) bible in his hand, reciting
>people walking by give him an odd look and then move on
>decide to give this guy the attention that he wants
>listen for a while, then interrupt him by quoting Faust
>he is confused, doesn't know how to react
>keep going, decide to continue reciting until the famous part of the scene comes
>he realizes that it's some kind of verse, so he responds in biblical verse
>both get louder and louder, turns into shouting match
>police passes by, tries to inquire what's happening
>realize that I will likely never have a moment this /lit/ in my life again, so I turn to the police officer and start reciting my own bible verses (Luther translation - though I think the Elberfelder is better for studying, Luther's remains the most iconic)
>bible guy tries to interrupt
>aggressively turn towards him
>police takes me down and handcuffs me to a bench
>police is consulting the bible guy, trying to find out what happened
>meanwhile I'm fuming but I try to contain myself
>decide to meditate
>passerby's dog slowly walks over to me and starts humping my leg

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>>9182623

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>>9187360
This is fucking hilarious. Underrated post.

>>9187360
how do you remember long quotes?

>>9187360
Very nice.

>>9180791
Thanks for sharing, GOAT post

>>9181735
Are you serious? The guy is a bit pathetic and confused but he doesn't seem like the "worst human being" to me

>>9185318
I do this at Uni, it's very entertaining.

>>9180791
please tell me this isn't real

>>9180791
my problem with this is that im so insane now that im not even aware when i do autistic shit like this anymore

>>9182877
most relatable post itt

>>9185254
9/11

>>9175672

>be me working in bookshop over Christmas
>get into a 45 minute discussion about DFW with one of the customers
>fairly 100% he must browse /lit/

let yourself be known, lad

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>>9187360
nice

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>>9180791
I have that same chronic condition of pulling out of the pussy match literally after everything is set up, I've always had the girl alone and in a room where we want each other, but I just can't initiate

>>9189483
At least you got those opportunities, I never even came close.

>>9189532
>At least you got those opportunities, I never even came close.
at least you never even came close, I came too close

>>9187271
Ive lost weight since then and actually havent done that bad. Ive managed to land a few chics but I still end up dreaming of bookstore qt.

She was just so friendly and nice. I didnt feel ugly or gross talking to her. She never once gave me an ugly look or snide comment even tho I was disgusting.

Its pathetic ik.

>tfw will never breed and have a family with a ray of sunshine

>>9184819
kekd

>>9187360
I'm too autistic to tell if that's real, but I hope it is

>>9184819
If that was me I would have laughed my ass off, well done

>>9189664
Like just the tip?

>>9187360
Well done.

>>9180791
That book store story actually hurt to read, what the fuck man?

>>9175672
>be me, autist teenager who only listens to classical
>in music class
>we have to pick our favourite musician and write a paper on them
>i know no bands, only classical
>too embarrassed to do a composer so i ask a guy in my class what band i should do
>he can tell im a pleb who knows no bands
>"You should do The Getaway Plan, dude. They're so cool"
>i look up some music videos of theirs
>sounds like shit
>"Yeah good choice dude, I love this band"
>some other guy chimes in
>"The Getaway Plan??? They're SO SHIT!"
>entire class turns and laughs
>guy that suggested the band is rolling on the floor
>that night cry myself to sleep listening to Shostakovich's 8th quartet

>reading Girl With Curious Hair in 10th grade geography
>teacher takes book and reads passage out loud.
>it's about the person who gets off on burning people with cigarettes (or something like that, I can't remember)
>people give me shit for reading weird stuff
>>9190217
>be me, autistic teen who only listens to classical
>in year 8 english
>have to analyse the use of metaphor in a song
>ask this emo kid who I was friends with for advice
>gives me some edgy metal song
>6 years later
>bump into qt who was in that class
>she asks "aren't you the guy who is really into metal?"
>>9190217

>>9187292
seconding this

>>9176943
Jesus Christ, who opens the bag from the bottom? This pic made me a racist.

>>9190379
Ha
>>9190217
Ha

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>>9182482
Start lifting weights bro, seriously, I am autistic as well, never was at a party in my life, didn't experience teenage love ( only one sided) or anything else for that matter, I only fucked one girl because at almost 20 I felt I needed at least some experience so I would not be the virgini loser.
Now I'm in the army, doubt my life choices, have constant existential dread and legitimately think of suicide more than 2 times a week at least, but still, there is one thing I got: the fucking iron.
I'm not super aesthetic or anything but I believe I am doing good and that at least getting stronger and bigger will improve my life in some way.

Be the change that you want to be in your life.

>>9192458

nice glutes and delts, brotha

>live in college town
>have no bookstore

what is wrong with this place

>>9178532
>Not sure what my point is, but it must be nice placing value into things because they're not readily available.
Instant gratification versus delayed gratification. The best example to give is how porn and masturbation has permeated the modern male's mind. Whenever you want to masturbate, you go to a porn site and find various videos with various women and pleasure yourself. Your brain thinks you are in fact impregnating all these women. You're creating pathways in the brain to become comfortable with this, and to derive pleasure from this made up scenario, and you keep coming back for more to strengthen the pathway. For many men as well, it leads to fetishes, because the same old 'impregnating normal attractive women' becomes a bore, and so the brain seeks something new, new pathways, since the old pathways have become all too well known. If you stop watching porn and stop masturbating, you will erode these pathways, and because of this revert back to a normal state of your body in terms of sex and how you view women. Seeing mere cleavage will give you an erection instead of having to resort to some strange fetish fantasy.

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>>9187360

This is the kind of story which sounds more epic in your head.
Fucking hilarious

>>9187292
>>9190566

That post gave me a similar feeling of frustration as when I read Flaubert's l'Éducation Sentimentale.

>>9185396
Something like what happening again? Seeing an Asian?

>>9178834
t. Mr. Projectingman

>>9178207
>It's ok guys, I read Absalom Absalom so you know I'm not a pleb and I'm one of you

>>9185244
Thanks, helpful lit/izen.

>>9178221
Well that sounds gay

probably outing myself:

>sitting in coffee shop to return a lost credit card
>reading de leeuw van vlaanderen to pass the time
>9/10 qt approaches
>mfw it's the owner of the card
>awkwardness ensues
>thanks me for returning card, quotes a passage to me
>it's from my book
>proceed to spend the next 4 years sperging out over flemish and scandinavian lit together
>...
>fast forward to june of last year
>he proposed
>i said _yes_
>we're getting married 8 weeks!

>>9193084
Why would that be outing yourself?

>>9193084
Holy shit, what a homo.

>>9193106
He's a faggot.

>>9192458
I've lifted for 4.5 years already. Started at 140lbs, currently 210 and about to cut for summer. I'm not ugly or fat or scrawny or sloppy. All the problems are mental. It's basically a running joke with my friends that out of all of us I look like I'd be the most successful with girls, but am the worst.

Lifting helped a lot but didn't push me as far as I needed to go. I'm confident in literally every situation besides romantic interaction, and I think there's no auxiliary activities to practice anymore. The only thing left is just to talk to girls, which of course is now the one thing I'm used to never doing. DESU I think how that turns out will either make or break me, and my prospects aren't great.

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>2013
>found a copy of To Hell and Back at my job
>go to psychologist for medication and behavioral therapy
>waiting in lobby while reading THAB
>2 people: older woman like 50s and a older man, mid 60s
>come across the part where Murphy tells his CO he took the scenic route
>laugh my head off at that scene
>older man looks at me like I'm a weirdo
>continue reading and laughing
>his face when

I already can't remember the times when I automatically associate Honoka with Emitsun. I don't know what to think and say. Honoka who the hell are you?
My hand's twitching and I can't stop my tears...this is a joke right...working my ass off with part-times to buy 15BD to get the ticket to the live, and turns out I'm going to watch a JAV sing. This is the worst stain in my life history.
If you think about it, according to the cells living and dying, she's pretty much a new person after 5 years right?
I'm still choking on my tears but I still want to barf. What am I suppose to do as a fan now? Destroy all the cross media goods and cut off my tiers forever? Should I just download the film and watch it? But even if I downloaded it I probably will break my monitor.
I already watched the rumored video. To be honest I don't believe Emitsun would perform in an AV. I watch while thinking this all just defamation, at first I think, "Wut? This is not like her at all lol." When she started talking I believe it, I started crying, but this can't be helped because the way she talks, this is totally Emitsun!
Emitsun looks like she enjoyed it so I'm pretty happy for that.
Is performing in an AV really that bad? Did she kill anyone? Though she causes inconveniences for the other members so she can't be forgiven.
There's a chance that her twins performed this, which is why this news is hidden until now.
Something like this today, I probably would bawl like I did with Toyosaki (Toyosaki Aki's boyfriend incident); at least I feel the impact's the same level.
None of that happened though, my adoration and dependency on these idols are already gone forever.
I don't mean to berate these VAs, they probably have their own issues chasing them and struggling to live as well.
From today, I will stand on my own two feet, stumbling but struggle to live on as well. This is my moment of enlightenment.
When the sun rises up, I will apologize to my mother and get a job.

>>9193354
fart dayo~!

seriously though. stop posting kopipe and go read a book you fucking neet.

>>9193254
Yeah, I see your point. For me the problem with approaching women is not that I am afraid of doing it, I mean it's not like I am Chad and that I can just walk up to any girl without ever feeling hesitant, but more so the realisation that I will be disappointed by all of them, it's not their fault, how can I fault someone for being less intelligent? Intelligence is determined by genetics that play at least as big of a factor as the upbringing after all(at least I think so).
Therefore just taking random shots is kind of pointless. Maybe I should go to libraries or something.
I think you get what I mean.
I would like to tell you that the old meme "Just be yourself" isn't that bad, it's hard enough to muster up the courage to open yourself up, and to let someone else in your life, but if you do, don't tell them bullshit, I mean there will be people women who will think less of you when you dont turn out to be the cool guy but who wants those anyway? If they're not able to share your fears or at least emphasise with you, then they're just not meant to spend their life with you.
I'm just a 20 year old asshole, I am afraid of death maybe afraid of life. I am uncertain if I will ever experience love, or if I am just not meant to be a good human, I am angry that there are no causes for a man anymore in this day and age, especially for an adolescent one as my self. Still, I don't want to give up just yet, it's weird knowing that people on this website know more about me than my family just because they are like me in a sense.
Best of luck to you breh

>>9193254
Lower your standards. Friend the ugliest girls you can find on facebook and tinder, or at bars. Befriend them and have conversations with them often.

'How was your day? What is your favorite color? What are your favorite movies? What are your plans? What do you study? What are your hobbies? What music do you like? What are your favorite foods?'

And then after all that practice, just consider that all women, are that ugly girl on the inside.

There are hundreds of millions (big number bro) of women in the world, and theres that quote from that movie 'about young women or whatever, you keep getting older but there are always 20 year olds or whatever'.

Stop being scared. You make a fool of yourself, literally say "ha, I made a fool of myself... or didnt... whatever... onto the next, ugly practice friend girl'

Be comfortable and confident and worthy as your existence. You, or no one, necessarily deserves a mate. This isnt to suggest to be fake, as much as my post may appear to do, this is learning how to be your true self, but an evolving version, a growing version, become more of yourself, more of what you can be. Smile you faggot. Laugh you faggot. Get out of your head. Look at the sunset, look at the blue sky. Smile you scumbag. Find an old lady, talk to her. Find an ugly girl, ask her how her day was, "ew you creep, why are you talking to me?", "ummmm I have a boyfriend". "ummm my mommy said not to talk to strangers",

2 choices:
"wahh wahh wahh,, sulk sulk sulk... I am ruined, my life is ruined, I will never make it, wahh wahhhh, I cant talk, I cant think, I dont know anything, I dont know anything interesting, I dont know how to care or be interested in another human being, and generally discuss the nature of our potential life and their desires... wahh wahhh.. my life is ruined... 1 out of hundread million girls made my stomach feel funny... wahh wahh"

Or

".... lol... hehehe... I guess Ill just go fuck myself?? right bitch??"
"Nice one, see you around!"
"ok pal.. alrighty then"
"wahh wahhh, you broke my heart... just kidding!! because there are likely many potential females I can talk to in the world, and you are only 1, so there is no reason i should be affected or afflicted by anything about you, I just want to find myself, and find a female that I can nicely relate to, it seems you are not that 1, see ya!"

>>9192458
Also, no homo bro, but youve got like a greek statue bod, cheer up bruv. Stop thinking about suicide. Life is long. Everything will be alright.

>>9175672

You are the pseud

>>9176772 sorta has it figured out

The Picture of Dorian Gray > Against Nature > Les Fleurs du mal > based

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>>9175672
>Be me
>Write a good short history.
>300 pages, it's consistent and nice in his narrative.
>Have multiple grammatical errors.
>I knew.
>Search for one person to help.
>Have some savings, but unemployed.
>Only can pay partially before get bankrupt
>the guy accepts retain the book for almost 9 >monts my savings over wen reach 5 mounts >he still “saying relax was doing great”
>Finally delivery
>I publish on Kindle.
>On my side looks good,
>… Wasn't good at all.
>Have to pull down the book 2 days later for see what's going on.
>He literally don't do nothing, just put his name in the credits.
>He say the cope who delivery to me was wrong.
>Never give me the suppose correct copy.
>One year and 2 mounts and
I still without publish mi book.
I am broke now.
>One friend who work on sell printing machines start helping me.
>His grammar its very good.
>We are at half of book so far, he dedicated time after work.
>The difference its day night.
>The other guy its asking for the rest of the money.
>Seriously, he literally don't do nothing we compare the original text and the text
>now i am broke, with a competent book on mi pc, and other guy asking for money for dont do nothin.

>>9192458
Pull up your pants faggot

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>>9193389
Thanks bro, I know it's fishing for compliments and all that but honestly why build your body when nobody sees it? 4chan gave me the knowledge for everything that I consider my nature and character and have been so for 2 years now, it's the only place I feel I am at home in some sense as sad as it sounds.
People like you and all the others that post here deserve my gratitude, I wouldn't masturbate to girls with dicks now if it wasn't for you fucks. I wouldn't be fit and I wouldn't have learned how to draw(I hate that I don't have enough time to get back into it)

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>>9194088
Hitler blessings and still this fucking flipshit. Can't have everything I guess
>>9193700
D-don't be mad with me anon-kun ;_;

>>9194103
don't be such a homo anon

you have a great body though

>>9194150
:3 I just do it because you faggots like it, but sometimes I also want to feel like a slutty teasing girl. I am only into girls but it's still fun to see anons mirin/lusting

>>9194276
this is perfectly understandable to me but also the reason why i will kill myself if my post history is ever revealed

>>9193389
die male scum

>>9194276

i do exactly the same lol
guys are much more willing than girls to give compliments

women are fairly stuck-up generally in my experience desu

>>9194276
Are you proud of what you just wrote

>>9194276
Nothing gay about 'mirin a man who has sculpted his own body through years of rigorous and disciplined exercise.

>>9194276
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks anyway, I wish I was gay so I could fuck men like you.

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>>9194324
Only 1 year actually, I just poured everything into it, and ate a shitton of food.
>>9194305
Indeed! Are you?
>>9194296
You and me breh
>>9194288
Dude, I have fetishes that are even shunned on 4chan and I'm not talking about feet. Google must think I am the craziest motherfucker alive with all the different shit that I am into.

>>9194364
Thanks bub, but you'd need to bigger than me, I could not be bottomed by a twink.
Being gay must be great, no bullshit, just good friendsship and sex.

>>9194368
>Only 1 year actually, I just poured everything into it, and ate a shitton of food.
So you were skinny/lanklet?

>>9194383
gays don't have unrealistic standards like women, I'm ottermode with an OK face but with enough insistence I could easily bang a guy like you.

>>9194383
>just good friendsship and sex.
Except sex ruins it.

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>>9194386
I looked like this before, I was skinny, not skinny fat though. But the facial expression and bitch neck tell a lot I guess
Wanna see the after?

>>9194368
That image
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhKla4MEstY

>>9194416
>Wanna see the after?
What do you think?

>>9194416
good hair

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>>9194429
>>9194470
Here you go
This is basically the before and after, the other pic is from when I was like 17, but i didnt really change until last January

>>9194413
Maybe it does, no idea
>>9194395
You better be over 6'1 then faggot :P

>>9194498
Lose some bodyfat breh, you look pasty

>>9194504
Almost no one is over 6' 1 here in South America.

>>9194498
you looked better before

>>9194289
In case you are a female, and offended/hurt by this. Know that I was being faceutious, and exageratory, but telling a suffering young man what he needed to hear, to attempt to put him on the right path. I have the greatest respect, regard, admiration, and honor for Woman. I would hope that anon is intelligent and sensible enough to not go out of his way, or at all, to hurt or lead on a girls feelings, just to use or something like that.

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>>9194509
Ive been bulking for over a year now bro, and I dont flex anything there.
This thread derailed quickly, well, it was dead anyway.

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>>9194513
Yeah, if youre into twinks. i still look cute though
Fuck I dont want to Spam this much but you dont leave me a choice here

>>9194498
How did you change your neck so much? I'm weak and I have a youthful face but even my neck wasn't that thin.

>>9194529
and i really like those glasses

>>9194498
>>9194529
Fine enough, I'd say it's an improvement.

>>9194538
I started lifting heavy shit. I recommend a lot of pulling variations and a lot of stabilisation movements, also you can isolate just about any muscle groups, the neck muscles aren't an exception to that. I overhead press 80 strict, I overhead squat the same weight, I do neck curls with 15kg pl8s, I could do more but your neck is precious, I clean 90kg, you just get big traps and neck from that I guess >>9194541
Thank you, I had that for 5 years now I think, almost 5.
>>9194542
Thanks

>>9193380
>but more so the realisation that I will be disappointed by all of them, it's not their fault, how can I fault someone for being less intelligent?
>I'm just a 20 year old asshole,

You do understand that are over 50 million women more than twice as intelligent as you are now, and possibly will ever be?

Or you are saying: The women that are within your league, are all idiots?

Op here, how the fuk is my thread still alive lmao

>>9194560
Its just that it's hard to find someone who to click with and it's hard to find intelligent girls in and on itself.
And I don't doubt that, don't want to offend women.

>>9194556
What do you do for chest? Or maybe another way to ask: what's best to do for building a bigger chest?

>>9194560
Don't you have /hisreddit/ to shit up or something?

>>9193380
>>9194560
Also such is the type of douchebaggy behaviour and attitude that is a self containing proof of why you are not deserving/receiving a female companion.

>but girls love douchebag assholes

What were you saying about your girl troubles?
But, ok, if you say so, enjoy buying your trailer trash wife meth and a new tramp stamp with your name and a realistic imaging of these photos you posted in this thread of your ass for her 7th sons 13th birthday

>>9194576
Lol, my chest is complete shit actually, I am not considering myself a bodybuilder or something, I train for strength first and for looks later.
But building anything really comes down more to how much you eat and how hard you hit the muscles and how often, there are no special exercises, a big bench (225lb+/100kg+) is necessary I would say, then incline, decline, dumbbell bench, accessory comes after all that
Its hard anyway to build a good chest(natty that is)

>>9194597
Why didn't you just say to begin with that you're a roastie?

>>9194597
Lol Dude, quick to judge are we?
I only posted my butt once, don't get so mad about it, the thread was down the drain anyway. I don't think I deserve anything, much less a woman/gf.

>>9192458
>>9194103
>>9194529
anon you're a qt. curious, what kind of girls are you usually drawn to (qualities and taste)?

if you weren't such ham i think you'd have much better luck finding a good companion. my personal issue with /fit/ types is their tendency to be overly "alpha". don't be a jerk, only dumb girls like jerks (and vice versa).

anyways i hope you cheer up, you're too cute to waste that smile.

>>9194607
>I train for strength first and for looks later.
That's what I'd want to get into as well. Your chest looks good, to me at least, so I was just wondering if you'd done anything specific to train your chest or if it was just naturally built up like that through your normal overall workout. Can you give an outline of it all when you started? The routine, your diet, and so on?

>>9193380
>I'm just a 20
>I am uncertain if I will ever experience love, or if I am just not meant to be a good human
How long is a year? How long can some weeks be?
Some people find first love at 40, some people are divorced 5 times with 5 kids at 40. 40 is twice the amount of time you have been alive so far. You think your life has been long so far, that you have experienced life? Imagine starting over again, thats 40. Some people live to 60, some to 80. 80... is double that.
Do you comprehend how much time that is? How many things are possible in that much time?

Hey arent you that, women arent intelligent, post your bare ass to a bunch of young men on an anime board, I swear im not guy, why cant I meet a nice girl, guy?

You need to fucking relax. One day at a time. Calm down, take the advice I said to the other guy, about learning to speak to women. Treat them like humans. Treat them better than humans. Treat them better than yourself. Actually care about them. Actually love them.

> I am angry that there are no causes for a man anymore in this day and age
Work and play, and save money to (live at all) attempt to start a family someday if you want and can.
Be a constructive member of the human race, of our great civilization. Help create fruits so you may enjoy partaking of them.

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>>9194630
Aww, thanks anonette.
I don't really mind looks that much, of course I have preferences but I wouldn't consider dismissing an interesting girl because she does not have wide hips or something.
I am not alpha at all, I am hardly Agressive and have to try hard to get pumped in the gym, I would like to be more of a gentle "giant" type you know.
I'm not naive or stupid, I never put on an act though, I also don't hesitate telling people about my fears or problems, I don't pretend I'm super manly without cracks or something.
My taste goes from Thicc girls (I assume you know what that is) to petite qt3.14s who are shy and girly. I don't have any standards really, I just want a woman that I can talk with like with a good friend, about anything and not just about feelings but about the world and life you know. The only thing I probably want is intelligence, I kind of find it cute when girls are incompetent and everything but I couldn't stand it for too long I guess.
I felt like a little bitch before I started getting bigger, I don't care if you smart girls(youre a girl right) think less of me, I actually try to look like a meathead but I guess I don't have the face for that-if I would see a presumably cute smart girl I would just try to get to know her, she would probably see that I am not an alpha macho

>>9194684
I don't know if this guy is just copying you
>>9194597
Youre a good guy I think, and youre right, it's not like I don't know any girls, I am talking to one right now and I am very kind to her I would say, she likes me obviously and I like her, maybe it will work out, who knows, crazier things happen right?
I will try to follow your advice, it's just hard treating anyone good when you dont like yourself.
The fact that I share photos so freely is just because I don't care about what you guys think about me that much, and if you like em why not post them. I never upload photos anywhere else, maybe to friends via whatsapp (and girls :P)

>>9193661
>ow i am broke, with a competent book on mi pc, and other guy asking for money for dont do nothin.
What is the nature of the contract you entered with him? He seems like a scammy scumbag who is trying to further take advantage of you because he saw you weakly let it happen once. Tell him if he still tries to speak to you, that you have contacted your lawyers, and the authorities and told them the story, and they are drafting up some documents considering pressing charges. How much money did you give him?

>>9194642
Shit. I did this once before on /ic/.

Well, I would just tell you to inform yourself about nutrition and how different sources of energy are consumed and stuff. You know fat having 9 cals per gram, sugar 4 and protein 4 as well.
I would also neglect legs at first, I train legs everyday now, I pretty much only do deadlifts, Squats and Overheadpress, and add accessories to that as I feel what I want to improve on.
Train upper body more in the beginning so that you don't get discouraged if you see little gains there, as it would happen with a lot of lower body work.
Go to /fit/ it's where I learned most of my shit.
Check out Eric Bugenhagen and Pete Rubis on YouTube, good guys, maybe it's too hardcore for you at this point, they are what lifting should be about though.

I ate a shit ton of food, I would recommend drinking whole milk and eating peanut butter, you'll not gain weight easier than that. Just start counting calories, 3500 for the first 3 weeks should be enough, see how you carry it, if you feel you're getting fat then cut the calories, but if you go hard in the gym, you can eat a lot in the first year, trust me.
Just try to always overload, don't get comfy in the gym, progress with weight not repetitions. Listen to your body, if something hurts (legit pain) stop.
Bench with safeties or a good spotter, I wouldn't bench without that, the spotter should always have his hands on the bar.
Learn the big three lifts, learn how to brace your core.
OHP OHP OHP faggot, it's the best exercise for upper body strength and size hands down.
Squat, Deadlift, OHP, Weighted Dips, Weighted pull ups, Rows, all top tier exercises, of course bench. I train my neck as well, to get that meathead look.
Its all not that hard.
Remember, eat and a lot (make sure you do) don't eat healthy, eat for mass, 120-150 grams of protein are easily enough, lift heavy shit after you get the form down, if you don't want to start like a twig do pushups, a lot of them.
Eat a lot.
Drink milk
Be consistent.
Train at least every 2 days, no reason not to in my opinion, if you feel like it and eat enough and sleep enough every day is cool as well.
Be smart about it. Its not rocket science, a literate like you should be able to get into it. Google everything I basically wrote down, you will find that youtube is filled with shit, look for the good stuff.
Post on fit for help as well

>>9194800
>I train my neck as well, to get that meathead look.
kek

Thanks man. And good luck with your own progress, and the search for a girl.

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>>9194817
lol

Don't worry about it bro, just try to get into it yourself, its hard to lay out everything to a newbie, you should just do what feels right to you. Assess your goals and think of how you can reach them, oh, and also realise that nobody is clean basically, literally everyone you see is probably on roids, just assume that. I don't say that because it's 100% true but because you should not compare yourself to those people.
This guy started to hop on roids after 1 year I think, he still made good progress before and he achieved a seriously sick body with the juice, measure your progress on his first year maybe, try to look like that.
Best of luck to you dude
And thanks, good things happen to good people, I hope Aristotle wouldn't consider me bad I guess

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since this is apparently the lit/fit crossover thread, r8 my progress homos

>>9182970
>he puts periods at the end of greentexts

>>9194881
kek do you even lift bro
you are literally auschwitz tier

>>9194858
>I hope Aristotle wouldn't consider me bad I guess
Why would he consider you bad?
I don't remember which Greek said it but the message was along the lines of:
>every man owes it to himself to gain strength and reach his physical peak in his youth and it's a shame not to

>>9194881
Is this like 10 years of progress?

>>9194881
Are you 12 on the left pic?

>>9194881
You just grew from a fat 5 year old faggot to a skinny 15 year old faggot tbhhhh

>>9194906

15 months of progress

>>9194912

puberty hit me really hard and really fast desu

>>9194881
Don't listen to the other guy anon, Im the guy who started this fitxlit, you're actually doing good if this is not your 2nd year of lifting now.
Lay off the legs for a while, legs are important but if they aren't on a good upper body they make you look feminine.
Keep bulking, build that upper body strength and size, you've got potential, your hip to shoulder ratio isn't bad either so just keep going, get stronger, get bigger

>>9194881
Pathetic.

>>9194921
fatty detected

>>9194920
>15 months now
Well Dude, dropped the ball there.
Doesn't matter, just pay attention to the wall of text up there I made for the other anon. Get some fucking intensity in your routine bro

>>9194928
;_; I'm >>9194498 yes I'm a permabulker you jerk, proud wearer of gains

>>9194498
>>9194943
You look like a tumblr hambeast hipster

>>9194948
O-ok

>>9194498
Don't listen to the haters, I think you look like Earthworm Jim <3

it's hilarious to go into a roid thread on /fit/ and point out that with the amount of time and money they spend on their food, training and drug regimens they could probably spend a few months doing awesome shit in cities like Budapest or Tokyo, racking up a good few real experiences.

>>9194702
anon you sound adorable. i have tons of respect for people with motivation to change the things they dislike rather than whining. it sounds like you have a good mindset, i hope things work out with that girl you're talking to! and if it doesn't.. h-hit me up ;_;?

>>9195034
This is the part where you post some body shots like he did.

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>>9176789
>>9182623

>>9195112
i don't have whatsapp but i'll make one later today! sage for OT.

>At party
>girl from high school all over me
>I'm very high
>tell her the entire summarized plot of Ulysses in about two hours
>she falls asleep on my shoulder
>wake her up
>make her help me upstairs
>crawl in bath tub
>puke all night
>wake up at 6 pm next day to a text from her
>it's telling me to buy her a new dress cause she apparently thought I wanted to fuck in the tub so She climbed by in too
>puked all over her

Plebs

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>>9195034

>hit me up
>gives no way to contact her

Really makes you think

>Ex gf has a Sylvia Plath quote in her Instagram bio now
>she hasn't got a bf since me over two years ago

Oddly satisfying

>in bed reading "Swann's Way" before sleep
>It's the part where young Marcel turns his roving eye on the Duchess of G in the chapel and her pussy becomes uncomfortably moist
>Inspired, I begin removing my pants
>Suddenly, I hear my idiot neighbor out in the street screaming "that's right, get the fuck back inside you bitch-ass faggot, I know you ain't gonna do shit!"
>Think "sweet, maybe she's actually going to beat her retard boyfriend too death while I watch"
>Nope, just telling her 4 year old to come inside, it's 11.30 pm btw
> Mood ruined
But was it lit?

>>9195989
>instagram bio
sauce

>>9180791
just, wow

>>9195905
Ok, waiting for that message :)
Gonna be a long day for me, I am not sure when I will be able to reply

>>9180791
>tfw it took several minutes for it to dawn on me what the problem was regarding the bookstore story
>tfw a sudden flashback to freshman year

>>9196104
good luck anon! i also have a ton of work to finish tonight ;;. leaving this as backup in case something comes up: [email protected]

>>9193380
>it's not their fault, women are just less intelligent
Do you unironically wonder why you have no success with the fair sex?

>>9180791
wew lad

>>9190578
All the flavour gathers at the bottom - turn it around for easy access. Try it sometime.