You're in the club when America's foremost prose stylist

>>9154927

Yell at everyone else around me to be quiet and listen to the words of a Great Man.

>>9154927
Loudly break wind in order to provide him with material for pun-based wordplay.

>>9154927
grab a seat, of course

Alas, the penis is such a ridiculous petitioner. It is so unreliable, though everything depends on it—the world is balanced on it like a ball on a seal's nose. It is so easily teased, insulted, betrayed, abandoned; yet it must pretend to be invulnerable, a weapon which confers magical powers upon its possessor; consequently this muscleless inchworm must try to swagger through temples and pull apart thighs like the hairiest Samson, the mightiest ram.

>>9154927
What is this guy's fucking problem?