Hey /lit/, My school is having a writing contest and I think

A morning with Tom
By: Anon

Tom Higgs awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside of his window. He let out a yawn and stretched his arms to either side only to jolt upwards when his left arm came into contact with empty bedsheets. “That’s odd,” he thought to himself. “She’s never up before me.” Determined to discover the cause of this irregularity, Tom swung his legs over to the edge of the bed and stepped down into his plush slippers. Tom made his way across the bedroom and stepped into the en suite bathroom. After stopping to itch his buttcrack with his hairy knuckles, Tom stepped onto the bathroom scale. “Wow the diet is working! I can almost see the numbers,” Tom thought as he peered down at his bulbous stomach. Tom stepped off of the scale, donned a plain white T shirt, and headed downstairs. The house was empty. “She must be out running errands,” Tom thought. Once he was in the kitchen, Tom poured himself a big bowl of Sugar Frosted Candy O’s. He picked up the bowl of diabetes and sat down on the couch. He groaned when he noticed the remote was missing from its usual position on the coffee table. Tom reached under the couch cushions and felt around. He pulled out the remote and turned on CNN. Following his his viewing of almost an hour of people arguing with each other on a split screen, Tom got up and walked into his study. As Tom approached his computer he noticed a piece of printer paper taped to the monitor. The flowery handwriting was recognizable after just one glance. Tom knew that the writing belonged to his wife. He felt a twinge in his stomach as he began to read.

>>9125592
Dear Tom,
I have left this note to say that I am leaving you. Our marriage has become a living hell. You barely make any money, you get fatter every day, and you never pay any attention to me. I supported your childish idea of writing a hit song and getting rich for seven years, but you were never going to be successful. When I begged you to find a real job you didn’t listen. In fact, you never listened. In all of our miserable years together you never once asked me about my day, my friends, or my family. YOu are a self centered child who just can’t be fixed, Tom. I may not be perfect, but I definitely deserve better than you. I deserve a real man, and guess what? I found one. I have talked about John from work countless times, but I doubt you were ever paying attention. John and I have taken the Prius, which I payed for, and gone to Manhattan. We also took the cat, whose litter box you never bothered to clean out no matter how many times I asked you, with me. We are going to find an apartment and start a new life together. The Big Apple may not be all that it's cracked up to be, but anywhere without you is paradise in my book.


In shock, Tom hurriedly flipped over the paper to see if there was anything else.


P.S. My attorney will be contacting you about the divorce papers shortly.
Good Riddance,
D.

>>9125596
A single tear rolled down Tom’s cheek and splashed onto the letter. He dropped to his knees with a loud THUD. Tom lowered his head and began to bawl his eyes out. With each sob he sank lower and lower to the ground as he gradually curled into the fetal position. After hours of crying, Tom’s reddened eyes finally began to dry. He pulled out his phone and took a deep, shaky breath. Tom scrolled over to his wife’s name in the contacts and swallowed nervously. Maybe the situation could still be salvaged. Maybe he could change. Maybe she would give him one last chance. Mustering all of his courage, Tom began to type.

Hey there, Delilah. What’s it like in New York City?

>>9125601
Thoughts?

>Determined to discover the cause of this irregularity
Yeah, kill yourself.
Also
>school
Reported

File: 1375743486868.jpg (41KB, 720x480px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 720x480px

>>9125587
>I am going to post my short story, and any constructive criticism or advice would be greatly appreciated.
So you're basically trying to cheat? I've got four words for you
>not your personal army
not even if it comes to your homework

Your prose makes you sound very 16 book wormish (((intellectual kid))). So in all honesty you'll probably be just as good as anyone else in your highschool, but it's shit and I almost think this is a joke.
You have been idolizing 4chan humor so much that you think a clever tie in to something you foreshadowed is clever. It's not. You might get your English teacher to snicker, "OHhh I 'member dat song!"
but odds are even your english teacher isn't dumb enough to choose a winner as anything other than an effort in humoring prospective kiddos.

>>9125607
R

>>9125587
Don't post your writing on /lit/. It's not all that great but submit it anyway. You might win, most young people are worse than you. Don't let any criticism here get you down. Keep writing. Don't look to /lit/ for criticism, critique your work by comparing it to other good writing. If you need help, go to your teachers and peers for criticism. People here won't help you, but those people will.

>>9125798
>Don't post your writing on /lit/.

Why not?

>>9125798
Teachers never help by virtue of their profession. They only assist when they allow themselves to act as peers.

Mfw when people take this seriously. This was b8 and all of you "Intellectuals" took it. Obviously some faggot from /b/ who thinks that it funny to mislead people and nothing more.

>>9125847
>Hurr durr, my post was stupid and everyone told me
>re: muh guys it was b8, I was just trolling, you are just *instert various insults"...
hurr durr

>>9125876
if this is genuine you're obviously just a kid, just do the contest and take hs for what it's worth. you'll be fine
if it's not genuine you are quite good at shitposting but that's not a rarity here

>>9125803
Do you like fish sticks?

>>9125803
I just meant that if you're new you don't need a bunch of psueds bringing you down

>>9125891
In hs. Written originally as a greentext for the sole purpose of shitposting. I knew people would get butthurt if I prefaced it with some shit to make it look like a serious attempt at drama. Nobody likes to get bamboozled, but at least you kind of saw through it unlike some of the other tards.

I stopped reading after a few lines because I didn't like it but also this:
>>9125798

Keep writing, I probably wouldn't be any better.