Rate my totally original story >Fernando is the emperor of

2/2
>The war was not over as Elvira and Urraca were still in rebellion and weren't willing to recognize him as the emperor
>Sancho captures Elvira
>Sancho sieges the walled city of Urraca but it is taking forever and a lot of nobles wanted to return home
>A knight called Vellido that had apparently commited treason against Urraca told him that he knew a way to enter into the castle
>Sancho believes him and brings him to all his meetings
>One day when they were about to launch the final attack Sancho had to take a shit
>Vellido saw this and stabs Sancho in the back
>When Sancho is about to die he starts crying and agonizing realizing that he is going to hell for disobeying his father will and causing so much havoc
>His last will states that his empire had to be splitted as his father had wished and orders his soldiers to lift the siege.
>The noble from the Walled city arrives with the news and tells them to his lover Urraca after fucking her brains out
>Urraca tells these news to the city council
>They decide to give Vellido to Sancho's nobles
>The nobles decide to tie his arms and legs to 4 different horses and make those horse run in different directions
>Alfonso inherits the kingdom of his death brother and his old imperial title
>García becomes the king of his former kingdom again
>Alfonso calls him for a meeting
>García agrees
>Alfonso makes him his prisioner and forces him to capitulate
>Now Alfonso becomes the emperor of all his father's kingdoms as his father had wished from the start
>One of old Sancho's old nobles decides that this isn't fair and humillates Alfonso in his own court and makes him to swear an humillating oath
>Alfonso forces him to an exile
>Alfonso starts to invade into muslim territory but a coallition of muslim kingdoms defeats him
>Alfonso begs Sancho's loyal knight to fight for him and his family in exchange he could keep his independently conquered lands and become the most powerful man in his kingdom
>He does so and defeats the muslims
>Alfonso exhiles him again and steals all his lands
>The noble REEEEs and with his loyal men invades a whole muslim kingodom to hide his wealth from Alfonso and crowns himself king
>Alfonso gets his ass kicked again by the muslims and begs this noble's son for aid in exchange of becoming his Castillian and duke of the muslim conquered lands
>He accepts
>Dies in battle
>His father dies from sadness when he hears the news that his son had betrayed him and that he had died in battle
>This noble's kingdom falls in the hands of muslims
>Alfonso dies losing more land that his father had in the first case and his only heir is a women
And then the secule would be about his daughter and how she manages to keep the kingdom together.
Do you like my totally original medieval fantasy?

>>9108863
>Elvira
really?

>>9108871
>Elvira
What is wrong with it?

>>9108881
lol

>>9108916
>lol
Not an answer

>>9108871
I don't see anything wrong with that...

>>9108954
Lol

>>9108881
Elvira is best name

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df-eLzao63I

I was hooked until Sancho died. Seems like a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing, what's the point?

>>9110243
>I was hooked until Sancho died. Seems like a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing, what's the point?
Sancho is very emotional and impulsive.He had started 3 wars for his own greed and had destroyed the life of half of his family.I found that being murdered by one of the people that he had hurt indirectly (Urraca's lover) seems plausible and it is a good way to finish the character and loved the idea of him having a redemption.He is a tragic character in my eyes as in a matter of dayshe saw how his father stole what was his by right and he was never loved as a child.

>>9110349
It'd be a good place to end the book with his death then, except I don't think his arc is strong enough for his death to be the finale. Buff up his arc and just make it his story would be my advice.
Though I always liked what Neil Gaiman said about this, that if someone tells you what's wrong with your story they're almost always right, and when they tell you how to fix it they're almost always wrong.

>>9108863
Stop playing CK2

>>9110381
>It'd be a good place to end the book with his death then, except I don't think his arc is strong enough for his death to be the finale. Buff up his arc and just make it his story would be my advice.
But I also wanted to focus on Alfonso a bit as the manipulative asshole that he really is... Maybe I should focus more in his childhood and his relationship with his father,brothers and friends

Sounds like someone has played a little too much CKII.

Do they go Deus Vult on the muzzies? Do us more OP.