Hey /lit/, I'm not a big literary kind of guy but my friend

>>9103993
>le thinly veiled woman hate thread

lol womminz r so dumb

>>9103993
>and all that gay shit
Nice post dude

>>9104000
>>9104002
So any thoughts on the poem or what?

>>9103993
It's dogshit. Have her read Emily Dickinson

pretty fuckin bad

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>>9104016
Thanks, anon will do.

Here's another one that seems to be popular in the group.

I'd really appreciate it if you guys could like come up with some sort of indepth comment on one of the poems. Not long or anything, just something that i can tell her that'll show her I know what she's doing and that it sucks. Otherwise she'll just ignore me and keep doing what shes doing and keep sending everyone shitty poems.

>>9103993
>>9104038

she's obviously still practising and learning. which is good.

they themselves are bad but who are we to judge

what "group" is this? and is it to you specifically? does she want you to critique? because I'm imagining you're going to be sperging out and you want our help to do it because you're too unimaginative to do it yourself.

basic poems, no rhythm, breaking off with shit like "and we \n" makes it hard to read.

sperg out with your own mind, not ours

>>9104054
She regularly asks for people's opinions.

I think people just dont wanna hurt her feelings cause they always say it's great. I'm not one to feed false egos but I thought maybe there was something I was missing, which is why I posted here first.

I won't sperg out on her. She's a decent chick. Just really melodramatic sometimes. I just wanna help her so that she gets better and it isn't as embarrasing cos honestly sometimes i physically cringe at these.

>>9103993
wow I hate it

>>9104068
Tell her that you don't know anything about poetry

It seems like she's honestly trying so be sensitive. Good neutral advice would be to tell her to try to recite them out loud or have someone else recite them to her because you found them hard to read, that's something even someone with zero knowledge on poetry can notice and you wont look pretentious when you say that. The main problem with those poems is that they have no rhythm or flow which is what makes them hard to read, she'll hopefuly figure it out when she tries to actually recite them.

>>9104068
tell her there's no rhythm.

just be upfront, say it's a little hard to read at certain points.

>>9103993
that bitch's use of syllables is all over the place!

>>9104104
She actually did recite them once and posted it on facebook and it was pretty bad. I'll tell her that I like it but that it'd be even better if she paid more attention to the rhythm of the piece? idk

>>9104130
Why do you care if you know nothing about poetry?

Are you trying to fuck her?

>>9104135

Because this is a cover le women are inferior thread

>>9104135
Because she sends these out all the time and we're not all that close but she's still my friend. Sure, if it's you I wouldn't give a fuck but I'm not going to do nothing while my friend is looking dumb.

>>9104123
>>9104127
will do

>>9104141
oh fuck off

>>9103993
>I'm not a big literary kind of guy
Get out then.

Are you this dense? Nobody, least of all women, want constructive critisicm. She wants you to compliment her. Don't be an asshole and do that. You gain nothing by critisizing her in contrary you'll weaken the bonds of your friendship.
Tell her it's nice and tell her why.
>lrn2human

>>9104172
I'm an artist an musician. There is no life without constructive criticism. She's also somewhat into art so I'm just gonna assume she's sincere.

>Don't be an asshole and do that. You gain nothing by critisizing her in contrary you'll weaken the bonds of your friendship.
Tell her it's nice and tell her why.

Lol, fuck no. If it sucks it needs to be called out. Nobody grows from being coddled.

>>9104168
Well I got what i came here for so i guess I am out. Thank's /lit/! In case you can't see me on account of your heads being lodged firmly in your asses, I'm leaving your hole. Don't let my leaving distract you from the smell, you pretentious limp wristed twats.

Honestly, it goes from 0 to Batshit in 2 seconds! Tell her (besides rithm) to not befriend with this kind of kitsch prose

>>9104184

>limp wristed twats

you were literally asking for poetry advice itt

stop projecting, m8

>>9103993

>fucking

Dropped.

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>>9103993

>I wouldn't know good writing if it snuck up behind me and stuck a carrot in my ass Bugs Bunny style.

You sound like such a dork. Even by /lit/ standards you sound like a dork.

I can't be the only one who only read 'Big' and 'Guy' at first sight.

>>9103993
From an F- to an A+, she gets a C. Take out the "fuck" and I'll make it a C+.

70% is not bad, for a grade. That's average; passing. She could do better.

>>9103993
It's not as bad as the milk and perioids poem collection by that curry individual. There are some interesting bits in there although she seems to be riding the wave of "my feelings and kindness trump patriarchy".

>>9104038
This one starts of real bad and then all I can read is "I don't wanna diet, shave and plug my eyebrows :((((". Using the word trench in that context made me gag a little. I don't shave my feminized legs either but come on.

Bugs Bunny sticks carrots up people's asses?
Anyway, the poems are actually decent, especially if they're by a teen/young author. She hasn't fallen into the "make it rhyme" trap that destroys most amateur poets before they've even begun, and she has some interesting images and sensitive shifts between poetic and plain language. Since you don't know much about poetry yourself, just tell her it's good and carry on. She doesn't want harsh criticism, and the work doesn't need to be shat on: it's competent and shows promise. That's enough for now.

I realize that this is /lit/ and most of your responses will tell you it's worthless crap because it lacks rhyme and rhythm, or even just because a woman wrote it, but as an adjunct prof who puts up with a great deal of truly terrible writing from first-year students, this is the sort of poetry that I find a relief from the worst submissions.

>>9103993
It's actually not bad in some places. End of first stanza is top cringe, overall imagery is functional without being original or interesting. The rhythm is bad, but it's not reasonable to expect otherwise in this day and age, and it mostly gets thrown off by a few lines (first three, last two of each; though that could also mean that the rest being readable in a way that works is probably incidental). Author sounds like someone who has intuitive understanding of some aspects of poetic language but does not read.

>>9103993
Not that bad. There's a handful of words like "growing," "firm," and "fucking" which come off as weak, she needs to stop using adverbs (or adverbial phrases), and the ending is a bit abrupt, but otherwise the poem is fine. I actually like the central metaphor.

>>9104038
This is another case of overdone adjectives, adverbs, and adverbial phrases. She needs to edit and cut a solid 10-20% of her work. The full circle ending fails because it isn't close enough to the opening to be immediately recognizable. It should be word-for-word the same or differ by a single word. Again, she latches on to an interesting metaphor but can't quite tease out all the beauty.

>>9104974 has some good points as well.

t. only man in his uni poetry group

>>9104038
OP after class you must say
>I'd like to drag through your trench baby
She clearly wants your cock and is trying to woo you with her pottery.

>>9103993
I love it. It's so cute. Reminds me of Elvis Presley. Love me tendrils.

>>9104002
>>9104000
Sjws get the fuck out

>>9103993
ITS PERFECT. Maybe ask her if she considered placing a: t ... In between the d and f at the bottom of the page, in relation to you.

>>9103993
it's not that bad, but the repitition isn't as effectively as 'she' obviously thinks it is.

first line is making a simile that's unnecessary
would be better, just wildflowers or something

this would be better in general with just the 2nd stanza though, barring the last 2 lines

that's some decent stuff right there.

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>>9106166
kek

>>9103993
I unironically like the second stanza. First is shitty.

Overall, better than most of the poems in our crit threads.

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>>9106258
top khek

>>9107602
Dont listen to this if you have neighbors, dogs or sleepers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-ykqFce8Ds

>>9104000
back to 9gag you troll

>>9104158
why don't you just say you don't know anything about poetry?? you don't have to know what advice to give dude she's the poetry person she knows more than you do about it anyway

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>>9103993
>poetry and all that gay shit
well done fucker

Anyway tell her to read good poetry.