>reading a book >it doesn't contain anything about

>>9095166
>reading LOTR for the first time
>no diarrhea scenes despite the fact they're all probably drinking tainted water
>none of the Orcs have asthma despite the fact they grew up in an industrial shithole with pollution everywhere
>no Aragorn Orc genocide sequence where he puts all of the Orcs in concentration camps after the war

wtf tolkein, fucking hack

>>9095250

Fuck this would be the best LOTR. I won't tell you to write it because I am stealing your idea, murdering all tolkiens heirs and writing it.

>character eats a meal
>no page long description of the food

into the trash it goes

>>9095166
>hobbits get captured by Orcs
>no rape, mutilation or torture scenes

Dropped this shit

>less than 10 pages of worldbuilding for each paragraph of plot progression

time for a refund.

>>9095166
>reading a book
>it isn't shit
>bin it

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>>9095250
Is this a The Last Ringbearer reference?

>>9095166
>reading a book
>it doesn't have a TV screen

DROPPED

>>9095250
>>no Aragorn Orc genocide sequence where he puts all of the Orcs in concentration camps after the war
read Yeskov's 'The Last Ringbearer'
not that it has concentration camps, but it shows Aragorn, Gandalf and the elves as reactiuonary war criminals, the book's pretty great

>reading a book
>enjoying it very much

Into the TRASH

>Tolkien was limited because he could only write in terms of good and evil, while in real life, purely evil orcs in black armor don't exist
>as such, I try to make my fantasy stories more grey and nuanced
>that's why the ultamate threat in my books is an army of purely evil zombies in white armor.

>>9096449
You should tell this loser that in real life Orcs don't exist.

>Tolkien didn't knew anything about real war, he just fought in the Somme, while I fought the real war by going to protest the Vietnam War

>>9095166
>reading a book
>no single instance of gay rape
Turned 360 degrees and walked away.

>>9095166
>Hi, my name's George RR Martin, and I apply 90s comic book philosophy to books. Cashmeohside plox

>>9095261
I think it's a joke based on a George R.R. Martin's critique of Tolkien (and of fantasy books in general)

>Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water.

>>9097494
How many disgusting fetishes do you think Martin has? We know he at least has a scat fetish.

>>9097494
>>9097495
all he needed to say was "she got sick and had the shits, and was dehydrated"

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>>9095876
I want to read that book so bad but can not find a copy.

>>9095250
>everything must be 1:1 tolkien

>writes a book series in a kind of medieval fantasy setting
>nearly every main character acts like a modern cynic, taking none of the medieval power structures or traditions particularly seriously: they are only obstacles to be overcome or things to be utilized for personal gain
>the people who do take it seriously die fast n dirty (Starks who believed in their traditions, Joffrey who believed in himself being the supreme king ruler...)
wtf Martin

>>9096449
>that's why the ultamate threat in my books is an army of purely evil zombies in white armor.

Which is false.

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>>9096449
>the Others
>pure evil

>>9096449
>>that's why the ultamate threat in my books is an army of purely evil zombies in white armor.


How to spot the showfag.

>>9098065

Fuck this shit. I see it in D&D a lot too. So many fuckheads in SFF these days can't see over the brim of their fedora.

So many iron age illiterates with 11 intelligence who are also rationalist euphoric atheists.

>>9098103
>>9098065
Yeah. People be breakin' social taboos all the time, especially in the show. Why make 'kinslaying' out to be a massive deal, and pretty much social suicide in the context of their society, if you're just going to have people do it all the fucking time (Dorne, looking at you)

>>9098093
I'm pretty sure 99% of the haters have never read any of the books aside from that quote about Dany getting diarrhea.

>>9098132
>I'm pretty sure 99% of the haters have never read any of the books aside from that quote about Dany getting diarrhea.

Which I legitimately believe to be a good passage. Shitposting is so fucking lazy these days I can't stand it.