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Rate my fiction.
I am currently working on a novel that is set sometime in the future. The plot that follows a farmboy growing up as he tends to sheep in rural United States. He keeps finding a sheep that doesn't follow the rest and is always making it's way out of it's pen.
We then focus on a young Syrian refugee at the same time, he ends up heading to the United States and ends up going to Yale.
We fast forward to 40 years later as the Syrian refugee has now become a great leader to the East and West. He comes as a man of peace after the defeat of the Islamic State and over those 40 years, he becomes influential in bringing peace to the world.
He is backed by numerous religious leaders across the world, including the new Pope. He is Jewish and turns Turkey into a blossoming country of finance.
Highly intelligent, he enlists the help of an Apple-like company that help him solve the economic crisis which has plagued the world for the last few years.
He solves it by introducing nanopay, similar to genecoin. Nanopay is recieved by injection and allows a person to pay or sell through a person's specific fingerprint and hand design, as well as through a person's face and eyes - eliminating fraud.
The economy booms as he manages to help the EU come together after their depression. Through the EU, and with the backing of the Pope, he manages to bring peace to the Israel-Palestinian conflict.
Meanwhile through out this, we follow an IDF female soldier and a US Marine, the farmboy from Minnesota who manage to apprehend a legendary Hamas sniper.
The three end up bonding over time.
The Hamas sniper is used in a plot by the US to assassinate him as they fear he has grown too powerful.
He is shoot through the right eye.
After three days, where he is supposedly dead, he comes back to life.
The world becomes in love with him but something's very different about him. He is much more serious... And that man of peace face of his, is gone. Now, stern-faced as the Jewish people build the Third Temple. He sits in it.
And proclaims himself as the height of human evolution and declares himself to be god.
There's a lot more to the story but I think some people here might understand what this story is about.
The title is called The Sheep That Trespassed
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If you're story is incoherent as your description I'm not interested
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It has the subtlety of a brick flying through a window and if your grammar is this disgusting for a summary, you have no hope of a coherent story
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Thanks for the advice, guys. I actually wrote it like this to see what was wrong with it - story wise, grammar I could not care at this moment.
I do know the three act structure and the hero's journey and I do know that I've written it so it's not subtle at all so I could get a reaction and change it (flashbacks in this case concerning the American protagonist).
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And the rise of "antichrist" beginning with him coming over with his parents from Syria to Europe, where he settles in Turkey.
I've researched a lot of famous people and I'm going with a Steve Jobs-type for the antichrist. Other than that, the IDF female soldier and the American protagonist who I will change to a journalist who is following the IDF as their war on the Islamic State comes near to an end, catapults the antichrist as he rises up from the ashes of a broken world.
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