Hey anons. I wrote a book. I'm starting on the second book

possibly.
get it published.

A sample for reference; https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B29UDA4XRCCpY0IzRFRNX0FETkU/view?usp=drivesdk

>>9034162
It's out to the editor now. Well on the way to publishing.

Seems ok but doesn't grab me. Good luck with sales.

>>9034152
I'll read it for you and give comments if you want. I read lots of fantasy anyway.

>>9034163
Kek. Had to stop reading after the first line.

I've read the first line just because of >>9034298 and I didn't understand what's wrong...

I think it's pretty good, I'm jealous you have the motivation to start writing. My only advice is that the fantasy I love describes the scenery, the food even the small things in detail.

>>9034163
It's... very bad. Don't get angry at your family.

>>9034463
>>9034298
I don't get it.

>>9034163
The prose is actually okay, but there's just no content. Reading it, you get the impression the author is an idiot. Try writing something other than fantasy for a while, OP.

>>9034163
How old are you?

>>9035011
Thirty two.

>>9034993
What gives that impression, specifically?

>>9034441
The description gets much richer as it goes. This is the second revision, and I toned down the description due to some feedback that I put in way too much. I took my cues from Jean Abel, and she kinda goes overboard.

>>9034298
What about it, specifically?

>>9034202
That would be much appreciated. If you wanted to read the whole thing, I have it in PDF.

>>9034195
Was it the prose, the subject matter, the plot (or lack thereof)? What do you feel is lacking?

>>9035086
>https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B29UDA4XRCCpY0IzRFRNX0FETkU/view?usp=drivesdk
i'd say the greatest problem is that your content isn't exciting. You give details but in an uninteresting way about generic things i've seen/visualized 1000 times before even referencing a character/emotion to care about

>>9034163
It reads like a D&D parody of American Psycho. I don't mean to sound unkind, but it reads like you have Autismo. You seem hung up on the details and don't get round to telling the story.

You first sentence needs to entice, but your blunt mention of the death of a king seems flat and misplaced.

How did you set your novel out? Did you write any drafts? Has it been accepted by a publisher you're not paying?

>>9035128
Well, I've been writing this book for a long damn time, if you put it all together. It was, originally, based on a DnD campaign, but it's changed so much in the last 22 years that, desu, the resemblance e to the story is superficial at best.

Originally, I laid out the story as a list. Event A to Event B to Event C, for the major events. Then I filled in between those, hitting the primary plot points between the pivotal plot sections. After that, I put in the specific details between the primary plot points. Like filling in the spaces, as it were.

I am first (lame) attempt when I was very young, maybe 11. It was what you'd expect. I tried again when I was 16, got most of the way through it (60-70k words) then the hard drive failed. Tried again when I was 18, motherboard burned up at about 40k words, and I didn't know enough about computers to have the HDD. Tried AGAIN at 20. Was living very remote, with poor wiring and a cheap computer. Got to about 75k, and lightning struck our power line, literally caught my cheap ass computer on fire.

I figured it was just the Universe telling me to fuck off and not write. In 2015, when I was 30 and reeling from news of my wife's affair, I decided to pick up writing again, to keep my mind off of my depression. This first chapter came about during my third revision of my now completed novel, part 1 of 2, in a series that should end up at about 10-13 books in length.

The original first chapter is now chapter 5, and had way too little back story. The chapters I wrote to replace it started with the MC walking alone in the woods to his destination, and was super slow to pick up. On the third pass through, I rewrote that chapter to speed it up a bit, and wrote the sample chapter as an introduction to where the MC was coming from.

Aaaand I typed too much.

>>9035128
>>9035128
And no, it's only out to an editor, not a publisher or agent yet.

>>9035086
>That would be much appreciated. If you wanted to read the whole thing, I have it in PDF.

Alright, temp email in the name field.

>>9035191
Alright, sent.