The Election of Donald John Trump Considered As A Pay-Per-View

All eyes turned then to the Main Event itself. As expected, Clinton had emerged as the winner of DemoMania. The worked screwjob of Sanders had been the only really memorable turn in what had otherwise been something of a bathroom break. Adjusting themselves to the reality of Trump's entrance to the Main Event, the smarks could see clearly what the storyline was. Trump would heel it up as best he could, ref-bumping and hot-shotting away, and Clinton - who had always rather struggled as a face - would get over with the marks by sheer force of contrast.

Everything about the early stages of the match confirmed the smarks' predictions. Trump had evidently been given some rudimentary coaching, as he now began to at least try to sell some of the moves applied to him. Clinton, no ring general herself, hit all the expected notes. This would not be a thrilling affair.

It was no surprise when Trump began hot-shotting women in particular. That was all to be expected, given his opponent, and in any case he had form there. Many even viewed his no-sell of Sexual Propriety as fairly astute ring psychology, though the same could not be said of Christie's ludicrous enforcer role. Everything was on course for the expected, if not much anticipated outcome.

Comey's run-in was where the smarks began to genuinely despise proceedings. The email gimmick had simply never popped the way it had been intended, and most had assumed it would be quietly dropped, just as would any other gimmick that couldn't get over. Things couldn't wrap up quickly enough, all agreed. Trump was awful, his storyline was awful, his gimmick was awful. This was a disaster.

But, as in the Rumble, it seemed the marks themselves felt differently. They weren't popping for Clinton as she faced Trump's bully-boy onslaught. They were popping for the bully-boy. Were they trying to get Trump over as a tweener? Absurd.

The final spot saw Clinton Irish-whip Trump into a running clothesline, which, to give him credit, Trump sold admirably. Clinton duly pinned him, but on the two-count, Trump flipped her. Ridiculous, the smarks opined. Pin-reversals are for the early stages, this looks like the climax.

It seemed that many were so occupied with deriding the spot that they at first didn't notice that Trump had got the three-count. The crowd seemed in utter shock. Even as Trump held up the strap in triumph, the smarks were furiously insisting that it would all turn out to be a work, a dusty finish screwjob to draw out this storyline they just didn't know how to end. But no ref objected, no Commissioner emerged from behind the curtains to announce some technical disqualification. Trump was, unbelievably, the actual winner, for all that his victory seemed to many to sound the elimination of quality wrestling itself.

Did you write this, OP? I can't into wrestling, but it seems good stuff to me, even if there's nothing quite as memorable as "Oswald was the starter".

>>9031566
Yeah. I didn't even think about trying to recall individual phrases, it seemed an impossible task. Glad you (sort of) like it.

I take it you've already posted this on /wooo/?

Too much reuse of lingo.

>>9031578
I dunno what that means, sorry. I only drop in and out of this place.

>>9031587
Probably a bit, yeah. The trouble is it's a fairly limited lexicon and you're trying to squeeze various events into fitting the wrestling paradigm. I might have a stab at making a bit shorter, if nothing else.

>>9031599

>I dunno what that means, sorry. I only drop in and out of this place.

I assumed for someone with obvious wrestling knowledge you would be a poster on /wooo/. Its the wrestling board on 420chan

File: 1473200780848.png (231KB, 297x304px) Image search: [Google]

231KB, 297x304px

>>9031633
>obvious wrestling knowledge

Nah, haven't watched it since I was a kid. Wiki has a glossary of terms, I used that.

>>9031674

It clearly worked then, I had you down as a full-on mark.

>>9031544
Holy shit, this is cringy overuse of the lingo and trying to sound informal and cool. Reading it wants to make me punch someone in the nuts. I mean, it's good and obviously took skill, but that's just the reaction it evokes in me.
Otherwise, good job.

File: hhh-and-shawn-michaels-o.gif (629KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

629KB, 320x240px

>>9031715

>yfw this is how wrestling fans actually talk

>>9031715
Fair enough, though I'm not sure what you mean by 'informal'. I actually cultivated a slightly more formal tone than wrestling discussion would normally prompt, very few contractions, a certain amount of excess verbiage outside the kayfabe lingo.

File: 1379648914834.gif (3MB, 200x150px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 200x150px

>>9031633
>>9031685
As someone who's been watching wrestling every single week for the past 10 years, what OP wrote is something that would likely impress you if you know little to nothing about wrestling, but otherwise it's easy to spot all the flaws. It's kind of easy to tell that OP hasn't watched wrestling in a while.

Not to shit on OP too much because it was an entertaining read nonetheless and it's nice to see some wrestling fans on /lit/, and thanks for sharing OP, but

>too much wrestling lingo
>questionable uses of wrestling lingo in some cases
>inaccurately representing how smarks/marks would react to Trump/Clinton
>implying Clinton would ever be over at all in wrestling
>implying Trump isn't a GOAT-tier mic worker who doesn't need lines written for him like most do
>inaccurately representing the way some things went down in the campaigns/debates
>implying Trump wouldn't be way more over with smarks than you implied he would be

As one example:

>The email gimmick had simply never popped the way it had been intended, and most had assumed it would be quietly dropped, just as would any other gimmick that couldn't get over.

But remember the second debate, when the crowd erupted after Trump went after hard about the emails, and also a bit later when he came back with the "cause you'd be in jail" line after Clinton said "it's a good thing you're not in charge of this country"? That was one of the greatest comebacks I've ever witnessed in or outside of wrestling.

I think the biggest flaw is that the way Trump/Clinton went down in real life doesn't really lend itself to the wrestling world, at least coming at it from the angle you did where it was like there was some sort of upset involved. It feels more like you had to force the situation to fit it rather than it seeming natural. It would make a little more sense is if you were coming at it from the perspective of Vince/the writers/bookers who were trying to force Clinton and the other GOP candidates on us (like the media/establishment was).

>>9032124
It is very much written from the perspective of those who absolutely loathe Trump, I think that accounts for your different perspective on the emails thing.

Over-use and occasional misuse of the lingo I'll happily cop to. I'm pretty sure I bent 'hot-shotting' badly out of shape, for instance, but there often wasn't a ready equivalent I could think of, and it would be the closest thing.

The rest of your criticism - not to get defensive - somewhat misconstrues the conceit itself. I mean, I don't doubt at all that Clinton would never get over with crowds in wrestling. But we aren't actually talking about wrestling; we're talking about politics viewed through the conceptual lens of wrestling. If I wrote something where Clinton, Trump et al really were wrestlers, then of course she'd go down like a lead balloon. But that's not what this is.

Appreciate the detailed feedback, though.