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What's that word for when you realise that you'll look back at the previous year and three quarters and realise it was completely wasted?
>finished a degree I hated
>worked retailcuck part time jobs
>barely read more than 5 books
>did maybe a month's worth of productive stuff in my free time
>went to the gym regularly and lifts went up but ate lots of junk food and had coffee enough to harm sleep at times
>main hobby was taking walks or driving and feeling sad about my life and telling myself I would work extremely hard to learn productive skills tomorrow
>wasted gigantic amounts of time on internet and 4chan browsing
>told myself every day that I'd start working hard and eating healthily tomorrow and having genuine false hope almost every time
I can't motivate myself to work hard on anything or have goals. I know other people have quarter life crises but my life is fucking zooming past, not due to a boring 9-5 job but my inability to do anything with my free time.
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regret?
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>>9013168
This is me. Except I've read maybe 100 books.
As you are on /lit/ maybe you can work on the book bit. Try to beat my record. I believe in you.
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Did you save money?
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>>9013207
Barely. Really barely because of my massive amount of junk food and coffee spending. But my expenses are minimal.
I just paid £300 for flights to a graduate interview where I'll be judged solely on my normieness and surrounded by posh normie clones being interviewed by their clones. This is rape.
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>>9013168
It's the realization that you've been caught up in man made masturbatory systems. Get the fuck out of dodge, at least periodically. Getting back to nature can help you reevaluate your place in the world and make you realize that none of the day-to-day shit people do to piss away their time means much in the grand scheme of things. What is a gym membership next the the time and forces that build a mountain? What is a few books compared the the persistent erosion that leads to the Grand Canyon? Once you realize that you are nothing you can feel free to create something great.
Or not. Do whatever the fuck you want. It's your time to piss away.
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>>9013168
>main hobby was taking walks or driving and feeling sad about my life and telling myself I would work extremely hard to learn productive skills tomorrow
Skills are spooks and if you genuinely wanted to do something then you'd be doing it. It's lame to say but it's better to stop trying to be something you're not. Just try to enjoy your life.
Have you considered moving out? That's what I did when I worked part-time and it helped me get my life on track majorly.
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