>Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is

>>8852195

I don't understand this meme.

>>8852195
r/4chan was a mistake
>>8852196
it's from reddit, and OP wants to put it back

>>8852196
Only one enemy remained; two if you counted God.

>>8852195
>>8852195
GADAWN! Thus awoke acoil the blanket ringroundabout. Ahyesthen. Good dawn. A ponderous sound. Thou ominous and fearful owl of death. Not a retriever anyway, as I have wanted since the shitpants days ab initio. Harumph. Absit invidia. No. Hmph. Can't expect pancakes either. Mumsywumsy hasn't the time.

File: Screen Shot 2016-12-17 at 2.12.12 pm.png (13KB, 420x67px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 420x67px

>60 upvotes.

>>8852195
>>Waking up to a loud shitpost rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “SHITPOST! John Green got hit by a car!” or “SHITPOST! No more Rebbit threads!"

>>8852195
Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH!0000000CAN YOU TASTE IT ANON? CAN YOU TASTE THE OIL, THE BUTTER, THE CHAR ALONG THE EDGE AS YOU CHEW AND SWALLOW?0000000000000CAN YOU HEAR YOUR MOTHER'S CALL AS SHE SUMMONS YOU FROM YOUR ROOM EAT EAT EAT ANON0000000000EAT FOR ME EAT FOR YOU BUT EAT FOR ME0000000000Mom made pancakes!” or “CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”

Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH! Missing teens unsolved for 15 years, until police uncover truth!” or “CRASH! This man dedicated 25 years of his life meeting celebs!”

>>8852195
The boy awoke and the judge sat beside him and he said there is no coming out of your dreams into a positive predicament when they have been so abruptly dismissed as to jolt you out of them violently through sound alone and this is because no pleasantries have the will to affect you thusly and this disqualifies as a cause both the nurturing mother's efforts or the acquisition of a companion hound and the boy spat in response.

>>8852231
kek

>>8852195

I woke to a crash, never good. not crash and breakfast. not crash and new dog. nothing. only the dread of what is to come.

>>8852195
I am the first son of my mother, a woman well known in our district, and still remembered among us owing to her distinct lack of desire to produce flatcakes. For the present I will only say that my mother was a shrewd woman. She spent neither kopeck nor ruble where it wasn't required, refusing even to adopt for our family one of the Golden Retrievers from the kennel-master Dmitri. This may prove to the reader that mother was a person very capable of looking after their worldly affairs, and, apparently, after nothing else. Alas, I digress. For whilst our dear mother may be the most tightfisted crone in all the district, she was certainly not the woman least capable of creating a tremendous fuss over the smallest of incidents. I will leave you, dear reader, with the warning that my mother was a woman unafraid to exercise her feminine independence, and would often accomplish this through the torturing of my dear, dear father. Mother would go about the house often, crashing together pots and pans and furiously shouting to the ceilings all her woes and unhappy thoughts, for the whole house to hear. One story that traveled around the local inns and pubs for quite a while was one such occasion with which I shall introduce the reader to the imminent story.

It begins on a warm, bright morning at the end of August, where one is least likely to be pleased by clamorous screams and shouts of mother. Of course, the screams and shouts were accompanied by the loud clanging of pots and pans which father had grown to masochistically enjoy at this point, 20 years into his marriage to my mother. This morning was no different than any other, and as usual, mother's rage-driven moments of crashing and clanging were rarely accompanied by moments of rejoice. And so, our story continues.

crash. hmm. crash. pancakes? nope. crash. golden retriever? nope.

>>8852231
kek for ages