This isn't addressed to most people (I hope). I have been

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This isn't addressed to most people (I hope). I have been incredibly depressed for a few months and was having anxiety attacks in the middle of the day. I am somewhat better now.
I hadn't read a book properly in 3 years. Read some stuff for school but hated those books.
I had read so much about 1984. People quote it every where. To distract myself from I decided to start reading again. And holy hell I picked the wrong book to start with. I more or less know what the message is, but I wanted to experience it for myself. More paranoia and anxiety is the last thing I needed.
I did not finish the book. I stopped a few pages after the two minute hate. I felt claustrophobic, like I was being chocked. The whole thing is meant to make you uneasy and I knew that beforehand but undestimated how well that was done. I imagine the whole thing in my head like a movie playing, and It was horrible to watch him so uneasy and act so paranoid.
The mental image of the city is just kinda scary. Like I am standing in the middle of the street alone looking at a large pyramid like building, fully gray with no windows. And there is not enough colour in anything. Like a low saturated photo of that hotel in North Korea that never got completed.
It may be a good book but right now, not for me.