What are books to base my life on? I've been reading Seneca Letters to a Stoic and for the first time it rubbed me the wrong way that he didn't "practice what he preached". How do I know this way of life is possible if the person preaching it didn't live it.
It's like living the life of Jesus when a) he probably wasn't real or it was heavily exaggerated and b) you look at history and the world today and see so many proclaimed christians living their life contradictory to Jesus.
The whole world's a sham. I hate being cynical and bitter but nothing is concrete. Laws are fickle, good and bad don't exist. It's all based on what's best for society (majority) at the time. In Ancient Greece it was normal to fuck little boys but now it's not. I'm not a pedo but don't tell me it's illegal because muh morals. Spartans didn't have a problem with it. Monogamy is a social construct. Sometimes I want to be monogamous with my future wife but other times I get horny and want to be polygamous and want her to fuck other men. My disney side is competing with all this cuck porn. (as in I don't know which one I want) Do I want to be promiscuous? Epicurus said I should to be happy.
The only thing that's calmed me a bit was that Seneca said to avoid "mass crowds" because they infect the mind with vices. And I believe that is true. Whenever I find myself listening to pop music (yeah i know) and see the attractive women and attractive men, I suddenly yearn to be attractive and to possess an attractive women. Even going as far as planning to hire a escort in the near future.
Porn doesn't satisfy me but I still do it because I get pleasure from it. It is a vice. But I was always under the impression that it was normal for a man to masturbate to porn. So it seems impossible to quit it. I always go back to it because of that.
>>8819918
start with the greeks
The Ego and Its Own
>>8820164
>The Ego and Its Own
is this b8 or you srs?
for what it's worth i think this is the kind of shit that if you are truly awesome serves as preamble to something that is actually worth writing/reading.
because i feel the same way anon. life sucks and the only thing that makes me happy is the feeling that someday it will end. i honestly don't want to have to wait that long. right now i'm writing my own stupid complaint in one long screed so that i'll feel better/less uncertain about necking myself when the time comes.
beyond a certain limit there's no book that will help you. you have to write your own testament. for what it's worth it feels good to get your own shit out of the way. my writing sucks balls but it's better than feeling blocked. and in the end even if it all means nothing at all it's good to at least be chill about that rather than tortured and blocked up and existential.
pain makes good writing. the more pain the better. people aren't really that original. suffering in a better than average way is what makes fiction what it is.
go write about it, anon.
https://sciencepod.net/articles/show?pk=1411
>>8819918
>>8815419
You seem to be autistic enough that the Book of Disquiet is the only thing I could recommend you.
Notes from Underground
il mio diario desu