What author or philosopher should I read if I want to get rid

>>8814707
Stoicism

Start with the greeks

>feeling that I'm doing fuckall with my life for lack of ambition and desire
Read Zizek and Han

>>8814707
My diary desu no joke

If you feel alienated and feel like you aren't doing anything with your life, reading in general might not help so much. But yeah, it's tough if you don't have something that you care about to actively engage in. It sounds like you're looking for something more robust, something with vitality. My best advice is to exercise more (if you want to complement exercise with reading, pick up Mishima's Sun and Steel and classical Greek heroic/tragic literature). See if you can pick a couple acquaintances to seriously get to know better and invest in personally, but that might feel demanding/arbitrary; I'm not doing well in that respect either.

>>8814707
Not meme-ing here; start with Notes from the Underground to get the angst out of your system, and then read your way from Russia to America (obviously stopping everywhere along the way).