I'm on a first name basis with the ghost of David Foster

>>8763858
>I fit in, right guys??

>>8763864
No you fucking don't, this is a /b/tier thread

>>8763858
An attempt at pasta was made.

>>8763858
kys

File: t100_franzen.jpg (35KB, 514x600px) Image search: [Google]

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I'm on a first person basis with Jonathan Franzen and want you to ease off me. I knew this guy before I was famous. I came up and learned literature in college while all my buddies were busy getting girl and going to bars. Literally, all I cared about was books, but I took it to a new level which I'd never seen before. I don't meant to appeal to authority, except to say every book I talk about, is one I first suggested to me and read before me. Every book suggestion I get, I run by me first to get my opinion. That's how close I am. I know my shit, and this guy is the real deal. Now I'm not going to tell you my name because if you knew my name you would start to get nervous the way you'd sperg out when your anonymous MMORPG buddy tells you they're a girl. We all know you're just visiting /lit/. So next time you want to talk shit about Jonathan Franzen, know that I've seen every single one of my ponds at least ten times and I couldn't care less if a bunch of 4chan kids with Franzen disorder know I'm smarter, better looking, and more successful than they are.