hey, /lit/. i need some serious suggestions. i have always been

>>8754533
maybe if you capitalized your fucking letters I would read your shit

>>8754557
I'm sorry. Please.

>>8754533
It is fucking garbage.

>>8754533
This isn't very constructive and im sorry but the pic you posted is just awful awful writing. It hurts to read. You should take a break from writing bc you aren't going to ever make progress just by practice. You need to find some works in a tone similar to how you want to write, and read those works.

I don't know if it's meant to be funny but I laughed my ass off

>>8754581
Why do you think this? It's not my best, I just wrote it casually one night as I was drifting to sleep.

>>8754533
reminds me of middlemarch

p good bait desu

>>8754601
It's hard to explain because literally everything about it is bad. The sentence structure is poor. The flow is nonexistent. The descriptive imagery is painfully bland and boring. There's a difference between surrealism and stuff that is just gibberish.

The fact you can't look at this and immediately see massive problems is why I'm suggesting you read more. You need to see what good writing is supposed to look like

>>8754653
I understand however it is supposed to be blocky without flow to cement one image in at a time. There is no descriptive imagery necessary for the purpose of the piece. I don't want to use complex sentences, and I don't want to give more than I have stated. It is up to the imagination of the reader to fill in the blanks.
Do you have any suggestions?

>>8754709
i told you twice, read more surrealist works

>>8754709
>imagination of the reader to fill in the blanks
Yeah, at this point a blank page looks better to me.
If rules and other people don't exist, then you don't need any criticism and can roll in your own shit alone all day.

Absolute trash.

The I am.. style of writing is really lame/elementary/pleb-tier/shitty version of American Psycho.

Is this a fucking joke? Jesus Christ my eyes slipped right off the page and fell out of my fucking skull.

>>8754709
>Its another the writer has to explain why the person critiquing his work is wrong episode.
>Its another episode where the writer has zero self-awareness to realise how terrible his work is.

>not one person calling this as bait

i thought this was supposed to be a smart board

well done OP

>>8754607

underrated post

>>8754709
>It is up to the imagination of the reader to fill in the blanks.

The reader has to actually care about what's happening before doing the "work" to decipher difficult literature. And your writing isn't difficult. Maybe you did intend for a deep meaning here, but why should I care? Difficult writers like Joyce and Faulkner actually teach patient readers how to read their work, and ease them in with compelling characters and humor. You have no characters, there's no writing talent at all, and there's just nothing interesting going on. It's just random crap, and actual surrealism is not just about being random.