What books have the greatest openings of all time? Not necessarily

>>8717962
I dont really 'get' Kafka. I think his fellow Jews on the academy overrate him to hell and back. Typical jew writer, sickly and perverse. dont get what's special

>>8717965
I agree that he's writing from a place of mental illness. However, it's still writing that resonates with many people, including non-Jews. The argument comes down to whether or not examples of negative behavior are effective for self-improvement.

>>8717962
I'm not particularly well-read but I've recently started reading The Idiot and I the first few chapters have me really intrigued and 'hooked' as it were, especially The Prince's dialogues

>inb4 some pleb mentions Lo-lee-ta

Only one enemy remained; two if you counted god.

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>>8717965

>>8718112
>Dorito, light of my life, cheese on my fingers. My hunger, my munchies. Do-ree-toe: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Do. Ree. Toe. It was chips, plain chips, during lunch, weighing one-point-eight ounces in one hand. It was Nacho Cheese for snacks. It was Cool Ranch at school. It was Salsa Verde in the shopping line. But in my mouth it was always Dorito.

Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH! Mom made pancakes!” or “CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”

>>8718165
Holy.....I want more.....

>>8718165

This is quite good. Is it Douglas Adams, perchance?

>>8718154
I commented above about OP's opening sentence, and how I thought it was longish. Laxnut, your opening line is a superb example of not only being concise, but providing an awesome hook. A great opening line causes the reader to want to more. In this case, my immediate reaction was "why is god the enemy?" Great concept, with great contrast, and I would love to read more.

Great prose also has great flow-great rhythm. Again, yours is a perfect example. The cadence is so perfect. Sounds great and feels great.

My friends and clients know me as often being over critical. On the other hand, when I see greatness, I am equally blunt. Your opening line is nothing less than superb.

>>8718172
Was Reddit Ignatius all this time?

>Who is John Galt?

>>8718165
That's freakin' awesome, oh wow! That's legitimately hilarious, if that was the first sentence of a book I'd want to read more immediately. Sweet!

>>8718165
>“CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”
is this pasta i cant remember

>>8718639
It was going to be a great story of the order of King or Greene, but the original author has deleted their draft after the spicy /lit/ banter.

>>8718172
This will never not make me laugh

"What's it going to be then, eh?

Well, they'll stone ya when you're trying to be so good
They'll stone ya just a-like they said they would
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to go home
Then they'll stone ya when you're there all alone
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned.

>>8717962
The GOAT:
>Call me Ishmael. Some years ago--never mind how long precisely--having
little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on
shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of
the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating
the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth;
whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find
myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up
the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get
such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to
prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically
knocking people's hats off--then, I account it high time to get to sea
as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a
philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly
take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew
it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very
nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.
>>8717965
Yeah I've always felt he was overrated
>>8718165
Wow dude that is fricking epic!

>>8718154
>>8718165

came for these

was not disappointed

>>8717962
riverrun, past eve and adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to
howth castle and environs.

>>8717965
Well memed

>>8718642
Really? I've always wondered if Reddit would catch wind of us memeing them to death