What do you think of my limericks? A girl I met at the zoo Suggested

The ending can apply to both.

Is it 'check' and not 'cheque' in mericla?

Rate mine

I need a double cheeseburger and hold the lettuce
Don't be frontin' son no seeds on a bun
We be up in this drive thru
Order for two
I gots a craving for a number nine like my shoe
We need some chicken up in here
In this dizzle
For rizzle my nizzle
Extra salt on the frizzle
Dr. Pepper my brother
Another for your mother
Double double super size
And don't forget the FRIES

cadence was a bit off some of them. Otherwise pretty good.
8/10

>>8670816
>her semen

>>8670816
I think it's a rule of limericks that the place has to be stated in the first line, otherwise bretty good

>>8670844
nice, I thought I were the only one to remember that one.

>>8670816
I would make some of the following changes, mostly for the sake of meter:

Add "who" and change "we'd" to "we"
>A girl who I met at the zoo
>Suggested we fuck in the loo

Second one:
>A pretty blonde girl known as Sally
>Was famous throughout the whole valley

Third one bretty gud
Would change the penultimate line to
>They fainted from lust
or
>They fainted with lust

Number 4:
>This young fellow made lots of noise
>By fucking my arse with his toys
>He was into the arts
>But prefered smelly farts
>And this Irishman was Jimmy Joyce

3 and 4 are the best

2nd one the punchline doesn't really make sense

first one, why "her semen"?

>>8671018
>>8672408
>mixed in her/semen with poo
He came inside her arse, and his semen mixed with the girl's poo.

>>8672465
yeah i see, but it's kind of an awkward construction that is likely to be misread

Why not just "I blew my hot load in her poo" or any thing that fits the meter and ends in poo. The concept of mixing semen and poo doesn't seem integral to the theme of the poem.

File: hitchens.jpg (37KB, 640x434px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 640x434px

"The Bishop of Central Japan,
used to rodger himself with a fan;
when taxed with these acts he replied,
"It contracts and expands, rather more than a man."

>>8670816
I've made a poem like this, while in 8th grade.

the meter is fucking atrocious. do you know what a metric foot is?

>>8673803
Like 30 cm?

File: 35029010.jpg (67KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 400x400px

>>8670816

Have you ever been to Limerick? it can be a fierce dodgy place altogether

what do you think about this one guys?

hold me tight,
i may die soon.
i was as bright
as a hollow moon

my words were inane
my actions ment nothing
though i wasn't insane
i could cry more than carving

i was merely an actor,
that never gets the role.
others, loud as tractor
me, quiet as a mole.

barely even breathing, i think:
where did my time go?
as click the link that leads to
4chan dot org /pol/

there once was a midget called midge
who wanted to have sex with his fridge
so he opened the door
and knelt on the floor
but his midgety cock wouldnt reach

me age 16