>"Sam Coll was born in 1989, in Dublin, Ireland. He graduated

>>8660658
>That hairline at 27

wew

>>8660658
Rickshaw

bump1

Utter garbage. I'd cut all of that shit out but 'tang of staling booze' and start over.

>He awoke, by degrees and blearily, to find himself ensconced on his couch, awash with a medley of tins and tang of staling booze, his mobile phone numbly clutched in his porky palm, the metal now wet with the sweat of his clasp, glistening from the slimy balm that fell from every oozing pore all over the skin of his body.

that's one sentence...

>>8660754
>>8660740
You mad, virgins?

>>8660658
Go to bed, Sam. You're still drunk.

Excerpt (cont.):

>"To find or to come by? He opted to let it lie, for the sound of scratching forbade him ponder further. So the text remained unsent, as the phone was tossed aside, carelessly dropped into a cranny of the bloated couch, in which tight niche it would remain a week unfound. Up to his feet he heaved his heaviness with prosperous huff and gasp, and to his door he lumbered stately across the carpet. Such a sound of scratching augured a visitor of the animal kind, since a human body would be more apt to knock, though as likely as not they would not, as witness the case of the landlord’s son of yesterday’s morn – but was it really so far away as only yesterday? And such a noise of scratching, he figured more as he paused at the doormat, did not signal a guest of feline shape, not one of those purring ghosts who haunted his dreams, for they were wont to mewl or keen, rather than waste their precious claws in crude chore of scratching at the door. And so, all unassuming, he took his key from his pocket, stuck it in the lock, unlocked and opened."

>>8660784
It's just not any good. The language and imagery are not powerful enough to justify a scene that amounts to "got drunk and fell asleep last night, woke up to a noise, didn't send a text." Pedestrian writing for a pedestrian scenario.

what a load of bland pretentious garbage

How the FUCK is he 27?

>>8660804
Yet he is being published by a major publishing house and being hailed as a young genius. And here you are moaning on 4chan.

>>8660941
Can you make a post without logical fallacies and instead respond to my criticism of the writing/the merits of the writing?

The writing is not good. It's Hemingway play-by-play writing except bogged down with amateurishness and concerning banality instead of something like the Spanish Civil War.

>>8660941
And here you are on 4chan blowing some balding 27 year old hack who looks like Paul Kaye. That shit is as bloated as the drunk and the couch being described in those passages.

you'd think a man that wrote a dissertation on Beckett would have a more restrained writing style

>"He had been dreaming of the cats..."

aaand dropped, this is all bad and bad for ya, Sam stop posting ITT and trying to shill your schlocky prose

yet another novel on the nature of loneliness and the impossibility of love!

pass

>>8660804
I completely agree with you. I'm an accountant and my audit notes are less of a shlog than this trash. My friend is struggling to get into an MFA program and he writes weekly short stories that kick the shit out of this.

I feel like at least 75% of the reason this guy got published is because he looks like he's 50, he's got a cool name, and he's Irish.

So much jealousy in this thread

>blackout drunk
>dreaming

Has this guy never had a drop? Has he even been black out drunk? Irishman drink to forget the horrors which show up in their dreams they can't escape. Most people don't dream at all. I get black out drunk pretty frequently and I never dream in that state. It's always a quick, easy, deep, dreamless sleep. And if I do dream I'm sure as shit not dreaming about fuckin cats

>>8660931
To be fair this picture is extremely staged, like most professional portraits. If you look him up on google, he looks like your typical beta gradschool TA in his linked in pic.

‘The most outrageous invention of a debut Irish author this year.’—THE IRISH TIMES

‘This is everything I’d want in a novel. It’s Count Curly Wee adrift in Nighttown. It’s Wanderly Wagon hijacked by Laurence Sterne. It’s Sinead de Valera with a bang on the head.’—Gavin Corbett

‘A work of cantankerous and bloody-minded genius, bursting at the seams. I utterly loved it.’—Jon McGregor

‘A great Rabelaisian feast of comic ingenuity.’—Paraic O’Donnell

‘Wildly funny … a huge, mad gem.’—Donal Ryan

>>8661034
If you're a true writer you write because you have to. Not to get published. Besides, getting published in today's political climate screams out to other writers that you're either a sell out or a shill.

>>8661046
>If you're a true writer you write because you have to. Not to get published

You're a fucking naive retard. If you're a good writer you know who your audience is, like any entertainer.

>>8661040

Jesus Christ...

Side note, why are Irish names always so cool?

>>8661054
You're a prime example to why the literary world is pumped full of menial garbage.

Phony writer spotted.

>>8661046
Then does that make Doestoevsky the only true writer? He had that mental condition that forced him to write.

>>8661054
That's a nice non statement you have there, which has nothing to do with the post you replied too

>>8661054
Then you better get going with those picture book friendo.

>>8661065
I believe all great writers have something internal which forcefully compels them to write.

>>8660996
Literally everything has been written about and in every way.

Nothing is in vogue that leads to greatness

>>8661094
That's no excuse for writing bloated corpses of nonsense and nothingness

>rhyme and deliberate embellishment – not the clueless overegging of those maligned creative writing students – are just some of the techniques used to create a buoyancy that is vital in a book of this length.
>deliberate embellishment
See? It's on purpose.

>>8661085
It's called narcissism.

>>8661118
No, it's something different. It is more like a curse that first lingers in the back of your head that whispers for you to get writing and if left ignored it will start screaming. Then all you will be able to think about is writing and it won't let up until you give in.

There's no illusions of grandeur, maybe at first but they go away fairly quickly. You wish that you could do anything else really and you try to. But you always end up being drawn back to that unfinished page. Always.

>>8661161
Nah, you're wrong. I wanted to be a writer, and had those same screaming internal voices, until I realized I was being narcisstic. Now I work 10 hours a day as an accountant and live alone eating the same pre-prepared cold pasta meal every night while playing 4 hours of Rome: Total War and I couldn't be happier.

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>>8661161
>It is more like a curse that first lingers in the back of your head that whispers for you to get writing and if left ignored it will start screaming. Then all you will be able to think about is writing and it won't let up until you give in.

>You wish that you could do anything else really and you try to. But you always end up being drawn back to that unfinished page. Always.

If you're over 20, kys.

>>8661174
Why did you name your image to pretend you got it from 4chan.

>>8661174
I guess don't have what it takes to be a real writer.

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>>8660941
Here's your (you).

Being published isn't indicative of much other than a willingness to prostitute oneself. His work now joins the mighty ranks of the Hunger Games and that maze thing or whatever. What a feather in any would be cap.

Anyone who writes about sending a text in that manner should be shot in the face.

>>8661186
I probably found and cropped it myself and a variation of 87676 was taken, so I just kept typing randomly. I don't name and categorize my reaction pics like some sort of autist.

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>>8661240
>he doesn't name and categorize his reaction pics like some sort of autist.

>>8661240
>i dont categorize my reaction pics like some sort of autist
>i just hit random numbers instead

that sounds super autistic to me bud

how is this balding bastard younger than me.

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>>8661255
I don't think so. Letters make it in there sometimes.

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>>8661240
>tells someone who can't help but write to kill himself
>gets caught pretending to be from 4chan
>outs himself out as a normie

I bet you're a shit writer too.

>>8661266
yeah he's probably this Sam Coll clown or his publisher shilling his crappy novel

>>8660658
A ridiculously staged photograph, what with messy hair, Clint Eastwood squint, hint of scarf, slightly askew collar. This is meant to convey a writerly authenticity, but it just hinders me from taking him seriously.

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>>8661266
>normie
>doesn't fit in on 4chan despite being here for years
>shit writer

Fuck. I might get published after all.

>>8661286
Post something then /tv/tard.

>>8661306
You're not stealing my ideas, big guy.

>>8661322
Once it is posted here it can't be published retard.

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>>8660941
You mean he's produced a mediocre book no one will buy based on a paper thin embarressingly contrived persona of being part of the Joycean legacy.

>>8660991
>Call me Ishmael

aaand dropped

>>8661349
>450+ pages
>reviewed positively by several influential individuals and publications
>27 years old

Yeah, nah, you're jealous as fuck

>>8661361
>reviewed positively by several influential individuals and publications

Who are?
The sole sources I can find talking about him are a single Irish Times article (which isn't even respected in Ireland) and a couple nobody blogs

I very likely would have never heard of him if it wasn't for /lit/ memery

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>>8661034

The second thread in two days shilling this hairline-impaired individual. Prose is awful, I'd be embarassed to write shit like that even in a first draft. Even the Brontes wrote better prose, and that's meaning something. Trivial observations amounting to nothing, "sweat of his clasp," wow, sweaty hands, what a tour de force of novel observations, no one's ever described sweat like that before! Another no-talent published and thinking it means something.

>>8660658
my gf directed a play with him acting in it, no lie

early Beckett is shit

>>8661548
It does mean something. It means money in the bank, bitches on their knees.

N E W J O Y C E
E
W
J
O
Y
C
E

https://soundcloud.com/sam-coll/abode-of-fancy-eighteen