Does he have any actual potential? There's no way he's

He's based.

Who would win in a fight, John Green or Nicholas Sparks?

Why is it inconceivable that the YA author has no merit?

>>8581177
He's just as bad as a million other authors, no one would notice if he died and someone started writing using his name. So not completely meritless, but close.

>>8581188
DFW wrote him after the publication of Looking for Alaska and they wrote on and off up until Wallace's death. Presumabely there was coaching by Wallace on Green's works like Paper Towns, Katherines, etc.

>>8581196
Source?

>>8581200
It's in Every Love Story Is a Ghost Story (page unknown) Green has some his letters published. Wallace was the direct inspiration for Paper Towns as the text deals with the evasion of actual sincerity due to the navigation of irony in the attempts at "true sincerity" that the main love interest Margot tries to espouse.

>>8581196
I can maybe see that, Abundance of Katherine's was trying so hard to be smart. Couldn't read more than ten pages in it was so bad.

Assuming he does have potential, so what? He can keep writing books at the same quality level and still get the rave reviews he's always had. So even if he had the potential to be Joyce 2.0, he won't because he doesn't have the drive to be any better than he is now.

>>8581196

nigga u have not read every love story is a love story have you? green is not mentioned at all. ever. not even as a fucking color

>>8581196
>wallace coached green
not surprised desu

His job is to demoralise the whiteman and make their women turn against them to lower birthrates in the west and force every white country to open their borders due to labour shortage and ageing population.

>>8581177
>be the short-lived darling of fickle lit critics
>be loved and adored genuinely by teens

Hmm. What a choice.

>>8581482
Little did he know a handful of posters on an anonymous image board would skewer his wicked plans!

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>>8581482
are you sure?

>>8581605
lol this better be fake

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>>8581610
Hardly.

>>8581638
turns out virginia woolf is a mansplaining misogynist, who knew

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>The thing Alaska did next scared and shocked and surprised me in a way nothing had ever ever scared or shocked or surprised me until that moment, a moment which lasted no longer than one sharp intake of breath but one I have no doubt will last my entire life. She said 'I love you'. Not 'You're cool' or 'I had a really fun time' or 'Do you always kiss like that?' I love you. As in 'I, Alaska Young, love you, Miles Halter'. As in 'I Alaska Young have not only noticed that you Miles Halter exist but I positively adore the fact that you do'. I exhaled. Alaska did too and for the first time I realized she was as scared as I was of admitting the way she felt. I stepped forward and held her hips. 'Are you sure?' I asked. 'I think so!' she replied, smiling. I must have pushed her backwards because just then her body nudged the lightswitch and the room became as dark as my life was without Alaska in it. Laughing, she slipped out of my grasp and disappeared somewhere inside the room. I reached out like a blind man searching for the object that might grant him sight. Truly, I was Looking for Alaska.

>>8581605
That is the most hilarious trait to assign to women because it's so completely vague and meaningless
>Of course women are intelligent! They just kinda seem intelligent, you know? They have that feminine mystique

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>“I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it!”
What did he mean by this

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>>8581470
>>8581651

>>8581684
>That caption under the photo

A+++

>>8581669
Please, stop, let poor Dave rest

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>>8581684
Jesus fucking Christ even the opening sentence is vomit-inducing

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>>8581684

>carrier piegon

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>>8581177
Edgiest translation award?

>>8581724
> fuck the stars

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>>8581724
Fy faen...

Hvorfor er sånt lov?

>>8581684
Is it just me or is the grammar throughout that paragraph completely fucked?

>>8581727
"Fuck fate" actually.

>>8581724
va tusan

>>8581731
you have been rused

>>8581196
This never happened. I invite anyone to find me a source because I actually fell for it and looked

>>8582251
See
>>8581684

>>8582251
they are memeing you, friend

>>8582587
that's slashfiction by someone else, surely

>>8581651
this isn't bad

>>8581177

If it weren't for the movies which are equally as forgettable, he's not even going to be remembered by the time this decade is over and done with.

>>8581651
This is my favorite pasta

>>8581731
Hes a manchild that writes like a teenager.

Please everyone post the best Green pastas

It's been too long since I've had some

>>8581651
Thought this was real until the last sentence desu

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>>8581638
I will never understand what this stupid honky is talking about

>>8584403
It is. The last sentence is the only part that isn't.

I know.

>>8581643

Sylvia Plath, too!

>>8581597

And he would've gotten away with it if not for those meddling posters and their little namefag!

>>8581684
>Published author.
>Speeding rock
>muscles the size of giant rocks
Hey maybe there is hope for me yet.

>>8585927
>No comma after hey
I take that back.

Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water. "Urgh," she groaned, "truly, I am looking for Alaska."

- John Green

>>8581669
Dat file name=my sides in space

>>8581177
I think this twink airhead is normally kind of cute but here he looks like an evil lizard person

>>8581687
kek it's just too good

>>8583824
it's not real either kek

>>8586222
I like to believe John Green writes fake versions of his stories and post them on here to confuse people. However, I also like to believe Franzen does this and chuckles over the postmodern insincere confusion it causes, and that John's brother (who hasn't read anything of his brother's) writes what he imagines his brother would write just to see if he can bullshit his way through. I don't know which I like more.

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I haven't read his books yet but can anyone explain this quote? I've never known anybody with cancer so I don't really know what it's like. Is this true?

>>8586264
From the people I've known with cancer, no.

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>>8586264
He's trying to get you to accept his cancerous presence in literature. That's how the John Green laughs.

>>8586683
why does he talk about cereal so much?

>>8586691
Cereal is a bland mass-produced food mostly sold to children and teenagers, John Green looks at cereal and sees little pieces of himself.

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He sold out.

>>8581684
I finally get the story "Everything is Green"

>>8581651
>the room became as dark as my life was without Alaska in it

*inhales*

boi

no he dont

>>8581196

>start a correspondence with John 'Jihad' Green
>kill yourself weeks later

Really makes you think

>>8581684
>like a speeding rock thrown at me like a playground bully with muscles the size of giant rocks, crashing through my window like smashed glass bottles


what the fuck

>>8586264
Probably not true for everybody, but you can understand how having a pitiable trait can be appealing, and how a young man might be reassured by knowing he won't have to worry about the future.

>>8586264
>yet

>>8586809
+1

>>8586700
KEK

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>>8581659
Oh you should see his history videos. The guy is making a deliberate attempt to rewrite history. Pic related is a screencap from where he spends the entire episode ranting that Alexander the Great did absolutely nothing, that his wife Roxanna was the real power behind him, and that the only reason Alexander is remembered is because da ebul patriarchy made it a point to remember him to keep strong wymyn down.

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>>8586691
He dicks it

>/r/ the tumblr post about partners and cereal

>>8587139
How does that even work, Alexander literally conquered half the world before he saw Roxanna, then he left her to conquer the rest of it. Was it female mystique controlling him the whole time?

I'd understand if they were talking about Theodora who actually had an influence on Justinian (not a controlling one)

>>8587201
More that she was the real brains the entire time.

They had a bit on Theodora too. History was rewritten in that Justinian was an incompetent boob and that she was the entire reason Byzantium even flourished, even to the point where Green credits HER with Justinian's Digest and architectural achievements.

>>8581177
I read the Fault in Our Stars and it was utter shite. Nothing I've seen or heard since then has made me want to give Green a second chance.

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>>8587267
So basically history was one long episode of the Honeymooners.

Btw, making a John Green quotes easy, start with Maybe then use a word incorrectly in a pseudo-profound way.
For example: Maybe all our Somedays are leading to somebody.

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>>8587305
Maybe the bad weather is just a reminder to be thankful for the good life.

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>>8581638

>>8581605
>>8581638
>>8581684
>>8581669
sides: nuclear

>>8587305
>>8587308
are these pics real?
they can't be
you have to try to be that bad

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>>8587326
Maybe there's more to John Green than maybe, but maybe there doesn't need to be more.

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>>8587340
And if you thought all that was bad, this is the worst thing every written by anyone at anytime.

>>8587350
time to kms

>>8587350
can you explain what's so bad about this?

>>8587364
the last fucking sentence jesus christ

>>8587368
"So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if pussies were rain, I was drizzle and Chad was hurricane."

Fixed it for him.

>>8587375
make it thundercock instead of hurricane and it's good

>>8587350
The last sentence is good, provided another context.

He can stay on schedule, write a lot and is a master of self-marketing. The literary value of his books is dubious, but he's become modestly wealthy and will live comfortably after retiring, which I guess was probably his whole goal

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>>8587383
You're talking about Hitler right? Nothing about John Green's literary value is dubious, it's pretty certain.

>>8587326
except the thing is that they're not bad

>>8587350
>I was drizzle and she was hurricane
would it kill him to use articles or generally correct grammar that flows well? I mean maybe I'd forgive his stupid bullshit if he said "I would be a drizzle and she would be a hurricane"

>>8587350
Isn't it suposed to be 'a hurricane'? How did he get away with bad grammar?

>>8589918
>>8590196
Oh /lit/, never change, you autistic fucks.

>>8581605
>chauvanism

>>8590196
no it's "huracán", colonist

>>8581196
I can believe this.

>>8581177
Yes, he disassembles the established narrative of the manic pixie girl that teens latch onto.

>>8581196
Surprised to see so many people say they believed this. Weird literary universe you guys live in this where this is plausible.

And as long as I'm posting, why is this guy mentioned here at all? He writes books for teenage girls, no, there's no merit, there's nothing, who cares about him, not worth getting happy or sad about, it's just trash, stop talking about him as if it's even a question.

>>8591016
no one here actually reads we just insult popular YA authors

>>8591016
It's not all that far fetched.

>>8586683
>>8586691
Much funnier when you consider that he's compared choosing a sexual partner to choosing a breakfast cereal before.
Not implying some agenda, just think that its a funny connection to make, far more likely that he's a hack who thinks that the only way to relate to teens is through breakfast.

literally /ourguy/

>>8592256
How do we get him to visit /lit/?

>>8590196
You don't need an indefinite article for certain nouns. "I was drizzle" is him saying he's not drizzling or a drizzle, but rather the concept or property of a weak rainfall. Same with the next clause.

I see this used sometimes in political contexts when talking about rulers: "Emperor Suchandsuch knew little about the affairs of empire." Not "an empire" or "the empire". Just "empire".

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>"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fucc, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, she was a hurricane and I was Looking For Alaska."

>>8587139
Far be it from ne to defend John Green but he doesn't say that at all. He does correctly point out that Alexander benefited enormously from a weak Persian empire and superior technology.

>>8586700
lol

He perfectly panders to little cuntbleeders and makes millions doing so.

The lad is obviously smart.

>>8581684
>like a speeding rock thrown at me like a playground bully with muscles the size of giant rocks, crashing through my window like smashed glass bottles

Did he have a stroke?

>>8592270
Okay, I realize I've seen that somewhat frequently in British English, but hardly ever in American English. I wonder why that specific deviation happened?

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>>8581684
>like a speeding rock thrown at me by the muscles the size of giant rocks
>carrier pigeons style scribbled in the style of pigeons

>>8581638
>>8581605
I was angry about this but then I realized. The best way to sell your bullshit to teen and tween girls is to spout as much mindless swj 'every woman is a special snowflake' crap you can dredge up from your bowels.

>>8592270
>Emperor Suchandsuch knew little about the affairs of empire." Not "an empire" or "the empire". Just "empire".
But that sentence implies he doesn't know how any empire works not that he doesn't know what is going on in his empire or how his empire works.

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>>8581638
WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

>>8581638
This is fake, his current picture is the same as it is in the screen, went to Jul 24 and these posts weren't there

>>8589918
that sounds worse though

learn how to into flow

>>8581185
Ol Sparky is fuckin ripped.

Ol Sparky wins every time.

>>8581177
Change the filename to "hurr" please.

>>8581684
Yeah. Emails deliver fairly quickly. As opposed to, say, letter by mail.

>>8593459
p sure it means that because everyone is born from a woman we are all female creations

>>8594123
Somehow missing the other 50% of the equation necessary for creation

Maybe, but he chose to jew it up and spend it on writing YA novels. As far as the eye can see he's a lost cause.

>>8594357
technically there are ways to use two women to create the genetic profile of a child or something
but mr green is probably just trying to get some good goy points

>>8594449
there's only what, four of them? how has he been marathoning them all day and still has more to go back to?

>>8594449
The Twillight movies are better than his adaptations so there's that

>>8581605
>>8581638
Too bad these are fake

>>8594449
Top fucking kek. He's literally fucking saying that it's okay for a book to be misogynistic if millions of people like it.

Redpilled as fuck.

>>8587139
WE WUZ at its finest

>>8586691
Teenagers love cereal. He is pandering to the YA demographic with relatable statements.

>>8581181
first post best post
underated
another based john green (fan)

>>8581669
>filename
it could also indicate a unhappy childhood

>>8581177
he's pretty good

they don't make for good movies thou

>>8586756
It's a simple inversion. He looks at his young wife/gf and says he's willing to look over something (perhaps an infidelity) on the basis that she is younger than him (a mix of he won't get anything better and he isn't getting any younger). But she looks out at the world outside and only sees wondrous nature: he looks and sees how he has fucked up something so beautiful with gravel and ashtrays etc, and this is mirrored earlier by the unthinking use of the sink for the matchsticks (whoever has to wash up will have much more work).

>>8586691
He loves Seinfeld.

>>8598149
The movies are considerably better than the books.

>>8594357
Not that I'm agreeing with that retarded shit, but women do go through labor to bear us.

>>8581177
>Does he have any actual potential?
i don't know

>>8598557
Because they want cute pets for a few years. There's nothing selfless about it.

>>8598706
Anon, do you have mommy issues?

>>8598741
I quite like my mum but I think spawning creatures into existence in general is a crime worthy of punishment to a greater degree than murder and rape, since those things are only made possible by spawning their very victims.

Breeders facilitate suffering. They mostly do it because they are stupid, but there should still be a strong incentive to not engage in this sin.

>>8598822
How did your overwatch game go? Reaper sure is a fun character to play, ain't him?

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>>8598822
Wait wait wait, so you think childbirth is worse than murder?

This is a level of misanthropy and pessimism I can only describe as cosmic. I don't even think I could argue with you, it'd be pointless.

>>8599029
not who you're replying to, but that belief isn't as crazy as it sounds
i recommend reading conspiracy against the human race by ligotti

srsly, there is a john green post every other day; what are your insecurities, /lit/? grow up

>>8594365
>technically there are ways to use two women to create the genetic profile of a child
No there are not. There is a way to use one woman, but not two.

>>8581177
Some of the stuff he has written is pretty dope, but most of it is either meh or weak af. Looking For Alaska is great though, and I will fucking fight you on it

>>8581177
I wonder how many of his 14 year old fangirls he has fucked

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>>8590766

>>8598879
No idea what you are referencing to be honest.

>>8599029
Yes, I consider procreation to be the worst crime. If I were to have my way it would be punishable by torture and execution.

>>8594123
Women don't create babies. Babies create themselves, all they need is a host. That host is a woman. I'm not even joking.

ALL HAIL JOHN GREEN

POPE OF THE BANAL PLATITUDE

FUHRER OF FALSE AUTHENTICITY

HARBINGER OF THE MILLENNIAL TWEEN GENERATION THAT WILL NEVER END

"YEA, I SAY UNTO YOU THAT EVEN A 37 YEAR OLD MAN CAN BE A 17 YEAR OLD BOY, IF HE BUT RETARDS HIS MIND AND SPIRIT BY READING MY GOOD WORKS"
TWITTER 2:13

"GO FORTH, AND FEEL INDIVIDUATED EVEN WHEN YOU AREN'T; I SAY, GO FORTH, AND FEEL LIKE A TORTURED GENIUS WHEN YOU ARE BUT A TEENAGE GIRL"
EPISTLES TO REDDIT 12:21

"AND TO BE HOLY: IS IT NOT TO BE QUIRKY? AND TO BE QUIRKY: IS IT NOT TO BE EMPTILY EXCITABLE, JOKELESSLY SARDONIC?"
THE GOSPEL OF ALASKA 142:3

>>8601428
You're either NEET or underage.

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>>8601550
I am NEET. Not being NEET and thereby supporting the perpetuation of this natalist society would be immoral.

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>>8601468
w e w l a d

>>8581196
great bait

>>8581651
>Truly, I was Looking for Alaska
Aaaaaand I lost

I hope 4chan goes under so I don't have to see this faggot on this board every goddamn day.

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I've never read his books but Fault in Our Stars is sincerely one of the worst movies I've ever watched

>>8602545
it's funny how we have TFIOS which is objectively 0/10 and then the very next year there's Paper Towns which is close to be the best film of the last few decades.

>>8601468
quality

>>8602545
A FUCKING RETARDED METAPHOR
Seriously, that cigarrette thing was the most stupid thing i can think of. And it was the reason his health got worse and eventually died.
How the fuck do you run out of cigarrettes if you don't smoke them??
And that whole kissing at Anne Krank's house with everyone clapping was cliched and creepy

>>8602545
Son a pack of smokes is five fucking dollars. Fuck your metaphor you fiscally irresponsible dick.

>>8601428
>Yes, I consider procreation to be the worst crime.

Some children get to be born as royalty tho and have lavish lives. So maybe only very rich people should be allowed to procreate.

This guy brings up bile

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Is Houellebecq the anti-Green?