Hey, /lit/ I always wanted to be a writer, and I finally tried

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763KB, 1024x768px

Hey, /lit/ I always wanted to be a writer, and I finally tried my hand at writing a short story, what do you guys think? How could it be improved? Could it be expanded into a full book? How are the characters?

Any Feedback is appreciated.

Pic sort of related.

Mavis Sparrow looked at the silver newspaper in her hands and felt sneezy.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her wild surroundings. She had always hated damp Sydney with its jealous, jittery jungle. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel sneezy.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Joshua Trescothik. Joshua was a delightful angel with ginger feet and dirty warts.

Mavis gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a stingy, bold, cocoa drinker with charming feet and handsome warts. Her friends saw her as a broad, bad brute. Once, she had even helped a sour old man cross the road.

But not even a stingy person who had once helped a sour old man cross the road, was prepared for what Joshua had in store today.

The hail pounded like shouting blue bottles, making Mavis angry.

As Mavis stepped outside and Joshua came closer, she could see the glorious glint in his eye.

Joshua glared with all the wrath of 5985 understanding shredded snakes. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want blood."

Mavis looked back, even more angry and still fingering the silver newspaper. "Joshua, I am your mother," she replied.

They looked at each other with fuzzy feelings, like two healthy horses dancing at a race, and two kind uncles bopping to the beat.

Mavis studied Joshua's ginger feet and dirty warts. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Mavis in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't hate you Joshua."

Joshua looked worried, his emotions raw like a rapid, rabblesnatching rock.

Mavis could actually hear Joshua's emotions shatter into 4335 pieces. Then the delightful angel hurried away into the distance.

Not even a mug of cocoa would calm Mavis's nerves tonight.

THE END