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The way I like to make my chicken breasts is quite simple. There is the normal way, and, my friends, the cultured way. Shakespeare once said, "you are what you eat." And I'm not a chicken breast. So I have to make sure that I'm eating something far more masculine. What I do is this. I freeve the chicken breast until it is solid, and then I drink a few cups of water. Then I pee all over the breast: it is actually sterile, and warms the outside while giving the center a rock hard core. The outside represents the male ego, steamy and sterile, sterilized by an even feminized society. The center is the male id -- cold, hard, determined. This becomes an icon of my very being: and then I must eat it. But the outer layer is still quite wet, so I use the male body's natural napkin, the scrotum, as a drying agent. This is because like any self affirmed male, I respect my natural Dasein. The chicken breast is now at the crossroads between food and thought: and while some might take the fork in the road and eat the breast, I choose to watch it for a while before consumption. It is cold, it is perfect, it is Me.
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I wish someone had just told me the truth right up front, as soon as I was old enough to understand it. I wish someone had just said: “Here’s the deal, Wade. You’re something called a ‘human being.’ That’s a really smart kind of animal. Like every other animal on this planet, we’re descended from a single-celled organism that lived millions of years ago. This happened by a process called evolution, and you’ll learn more about it But trust me, that’s really how we all got here. There’s proof of it everywhere, buried in the rocks. That story you heard? About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up in the sky? Total bullshit. The whole God thing is actually an ancient fairy tale that people have been telling one another for thousands of years. We made it all up. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. “Oh, and by the way … there’s no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. Also bullshit. Sorry, kid Deal with it.
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IJ is even more edgy than I remember.
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>>8446807
This is actually from one of the Angel chapters in Women and Men
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>>8445938
i thought like this when i was 12.
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>>8445938
RPO was hilariously bad. When /lit/ was pretending it was good I fell for the meme and hate the fact that I read that piece of shit.
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