>10+ short story collections, 10+ novels of varying lengths,

>>8348890
Dan "The Clit Divider' Schneider?

>>8348890
He's unpublished because he's a delusional psycho with a persecution complex. There's nothing to prove.

I'm not quite as delusional.

Here he says he's written the greatest book ever written.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9PXqdpIRjo

>>8348890
who?

>>8349049
He's this gigantic attention whore who runs a web 1.0 site called "cosmoetica" where he posts his "criticism".

Unfortunately, there's a group of people who actually takes him seriously and occasionally mentions him here like his name means anything.

his video hating on Pynchon is crazy

lol shit this guy again

>>8349049
>>8349086
the piero scaruffi of /lit/

>hates Pynchon
>hates DFW
>hates Eggers
>hates Franzen
>hates Woolf
>thinks Joyce is meh
>thinks Roth is meh

>>8349103
Does he have a memepasta?

>>8349105
So he's only wrong about non americans.

>>8349105
>>hates Eggers
>>hates Franzen
These two aren't exactly difficult opinions to come to. Franzen and Eggers are complete hacks.

>>8349091
it doesn't sound crazy

>>8349153
can someone link the pynchon video

>>8348890

>caring about being published in the internet age

If something's good, it'll be read. Fuck publishers.

>>8349309
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_2IwfWGs-Y

>>8349333
he's right that vonnegut is better. so it goes.>>8349333

>>8349333
I was gonna say that this guy is like /lit/ incarnate but halfway through this video I feel confident in saying he's leagues stupider than /lit/

Rofl I totally forgot about this delusional fag.

Didn't he say that he wrote a 10 000 page book or something insane?

I really can't imagine that he has any talent whatsoever when his website looks like such ass.

>>8349360
>muh aesthetics

>>8349369
Nah.

I just think that anyone ambitious and somewhat intelligent would understand the importance of looking presentable. You would have to be borderline autistic not to value the power of marketability.

There's bound to be talented writers that don't get exposure, but this guy claims to be better than dozens of past and modern "classic" authors. If he was that good he could manage to be successful enough to update.

>>8349032

So where the fuck is that book? Did he put it on his website? I tried to find it but it's such a mess of a site I can't find it.

>>8349379
nah, i'm fucking with you. the guy's an angry jew failure. he's right about wallace though.

>>8349032
Where might I find an example of this masterwork?

>>8349357
>stupider

>>8349123
I thought Purity was actually a really good book ... does everyone on /lit/ think of Franzen as trash? Or is this only based on his prior books? Purity was really well written, interesting, and possessive of pretty nice qualities. Kind of tender hearted, yes, but mostly in a good way. I would think it's mainly the feminist type shills that hate Franzen.

>>8349395
I don't know how people like this can't devote any time to making a decent website and expect people to read them in the internet age.

>>8349402
>prescriptivism

>>8349357
He's right about Pynchon characters though.
Most of his characters lack of development.

>>8349412
Obsessing over characters is plebbier than obsessing over plot.

>>8349417
What's left besides plot and characters?

>>8349423
prose.

>>8349423
The prose obviously

>>8349412
This: >>8349417
Character development? Really? Next you're gonna be saying shit like "the problem is in the second act"

>>8349425
>>8349426
>reading for prose
That's even worse than reading for plot.

>>8349435
you're wrong.

>>8349427
no, 'pacing' is always the next one.

>>8349446
How about "relatability"?

>>8349442
No.
Pleb.

>>8349435
>not incomprehensibly reading words at random points throughout the text

>created a racist /v/ pasta that survived two weeks
Already doing better than him.

>>8349396
>
its like how scaruffi is a complete hack but is right about the beatles. schneider is a hack but he's right about how most american authors are shit.

I have maybe 1/20th of his output and I've gotten three short stories published. He can gargle my balls.

>>8349633
Well, it's not that hard when you're gargling balls to get them publish. Probably only metaphorically, but, I'm sure your cute shorts about your childhood and unrequited love are quite good.

>>8349417
>>8349425
>>8349426
>>8349427

t. fags who cant write a plot to save their life an dont even understand its purpose in fiction

"Reading for prose" is as stupid as saying "I read the book for the book"

>>8349720
wow

>>8349720
You should have started with the greeks. But it's too late, you're retarded.

>>8349771
Homer would laugh at all you shits

>>8349777
>>8349720
There's no use arguing with them, anon. There's a reason why most people on this board will never be published, or taken seriously, despite having good technical writing skill.

All of these "but muh prose!" or, "characters don't matter!" idiots don't actually grasp the true essence of writing, and would just be laughed out of the room by any of the writers that they revere so much.

nice trips btw

File: 1469896679378.gif (301KB, 500x372px) Image search: [Google]

301KB, 500x372px

>>8348890

Dan "The man with no publishing plan" Schneider

>>8349957
lol

>>8349633
Damn, good for you. I want to write short stories and novellas and novels but I'm just not that great at it, I guess. I've only managed to get my poetry published.

>>8348987
Dan "Get in the Van" Schneider
Dan "If They're Young and Firm I Make Them Squirm" Schneider
Dan "Wanna Be a Star? Get in the Car" Schneider
Dan "The Man With a Plan and an Unmarked White Van" Schneider
Dan "I pork What I Can" Schneider
Dan "Old Enough to Read, Old Enough to Breed" Schneider
Dan "Candyland" Schneider
Dan "Split Her In Twain" Schneider
Dan "The Demolition Man" Schneider
Dan "Twelve Inch Span" Schneider
Dan "Baby Lovin' Clan" Schneider
Dan "Ladies' Man" Schneider
Dan "Use Your Hand" Schneider
Dan "Vaginal Scan" Schneider
Dan "Wider Than" Schneider
Dan "Best Man" Schneider
Dan "Game Plan" Schneider
Dan "Panties in the Trash Can" Schneider
Dan "Chicks on my Catamaran" Schneider
Dan "The Spider" Schneider
Dan "Teen Breeder" Schneider
Dan "This One's a Bleeder" Schneider
Dan "Came Inside Her" Schneider
Dan "I'll Defile Her" Schneider
Dan "Rough Rider" Schneider
Dan "Leg Divider" Schneider
Dan "Open Wider" Schneider
Dan "She's a Fighter" Schneider
Dan "I've Had Tighter" Schneider
Dan "Deep Insider Her" Schneider
Dan "Condom Hider" Schneider
Dan "Cum Provider" Schneider
Dan "Gang Bang Guider" Schneider
Dan "Supercollider" Schneider
Dan "minor 69er" Schneider
Dan "Whole Hand Inside Her" Schneider
Dan "Likes 'em Tighter" Schneider
Dan "Cheek Divider" Schneider
Dan "The Rump Rider" Schneider
Dan "Already Creampied Her" Schneider
Dan "Stick it Inside Her" Schneider
Dan "The Warmth Provider" Schneider
Dan "The Overnighter" Schneider
Dan "The Meat Grinder" Schneider
Dan "The Hymen Collider" Schneider
Dan "The Starlet Sodomizer" Schneider
Dan "The Junior High Insider" Schneider
Dan "The Cervix Wrecker" Schneider
Dan "Hold her tighter, she's a fighter" Schneider
Dan "If her age is on the clock, she's old enough for cock" Schneider
Dan "fuck her in the ass then take her to math class" Schneider
Dan "If You Have a Daughter You'd Better Hide Her" Schneider
Dan "The Man With A Plan To Get Underage Poontang"
Dan "If You Take The Dick You get The Flick" Schneider
Dan "Wang Doodle Up the Piper" Schneider
Dan "Please mister, slower" Schneider
Dan "Don't Call Me That" Schnieder
Dan "The Man Hung Like a Coke Can" Schneider
Dan "I like 'em Small And Tan" Schneider
Dan "Got a plan to get your daughter in the van" Schneider
Dan "Don't run don't cry or your career will die" Schneider

"No Lube Required" Schneider

Ass Man Dan
Spread'em Dan
Candyman Dan
Family Man Dan
Big Daddy Dan
Deepthroat Dan
Down South Dan

The Big Dick @ Nick

Danny Diapers
Danny Daycare

>>8349988
this is the most autistic thing on 4chan right now and there's a board devoted to my little pony.

>>8350009
It's a /tv/ thing. You can't expect anything less from that cesspool.

>>8350009
it's a pasta my dude

not about the dude in the pic, but the other Dan Schneider suspected to screw the young actresses in his sitcoms.

File: 1427491298085.png (36KB, 675x559px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 675x559px

>>8348890

Dan "Why do I waste my time with the typewriter?" Schneider

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJrj7WvTt8Y

Dan Schneider is the best poet ever.

>>8349103
I'd say he's even worse, because, as unjustly egotistical as he is, Scaruffi is moderately successful, and has actually contributed to his field of study.

>>8349873
Most of them are autistic shut-ins and know that they couldn't write a convincing character to save their life. They fail to realise that literally no one wants to read the damp life philosophy of a virgin in fluffy prose.

>>8349720
What is the purpose of plot in fiction, exactly? Serious question. I personally think plot isn't as aesthetically important as the writing and the ideas, but that's just me. Plot is still important, but usually anything interesting with original characters serves pretty well.

>>8350564
Plot, characters, setting, themes, and prose are all means to an end. You shouldn't actually be reading or writing "for" any of them.

>>8350608
Ok, good answer. But to be more explicit, are you suggesting then that the end is the overall aesthetic or reader's enjoyment? What is this "end" you declare? For example, I could see the end being posited as a fascinating plot, which could possibly go against your dictum.

>>8349407
>I would think it's mainly the feminist type shills that hate Franzen.
Then why doesn't Bloom praise him? Check mate.

>>8349427
This. Fucking tgwtg bs.

>>8349442
Just read poetry, man.

>>8350564
Characters make the plot which conveys the theme - all of it rendered through prose.

Take a more holistic approach to fiction and all these little arguments of reading/writing for "xyz" seem childish and ignorant as fuck.

>>8349412
So?
Sometimes the story, the ideas or the mood is more important than the people.

His Pynchon video is probably the worst thing I've ever seen.

>0/1000+ > 0/a few dozen

Ok. That makes sense.