Anyone else excited about the new harry potter book? It was one

>>8338518
My hope is that everyone who wants to talk about this piece of shit fucks back off to rbooks or goodreads.

>>8338527
/thread

>Direct to book play script.

Anon...

>>8338527
>Its mainstream so we are not interested

every fucking time /lit/

>>8338518
The thing that gets me is that it's not even an official book by JK herself. It's a play turned book. And I'll probably still read it anyway, damn it.

Is there a leak for this? Or are all the leaks fake?

>>8338682

/lit/ is horrendously insecure sometimes.

I was excited about HP as a kid, I'll probably end up reading this as some comfy fluff.

>>8338518
Man, I just really enjoyed Harry Potter as a kid. Every new release was amazing. While this isn't a novel or written by Rowling technically, I still ended up pre-ordering the kindle version. Can't help but feel some childish excitement for this.

Holy fucking shit
So this woman can go from improvising as many CS Lewis, Tolkien and Siegfried references she could put within the same book as long as her editor was in on the joke to reboot her fucking fairy tales as YA lit?

Tons of people are gonna be pissed tomorrow when they find out they bought a script

>>8340694
>While this isn't a novel or written by Rowling technically,
The first press releases I saw were saying she started to write a novel, then decided to rope in this screenwriter guy to turn it into a play instead, so she seems to he distancing herself from the whole thing now. I think the original intention was to cash in on them theatre monies (not that there's much of them tho), then make another box office smash movie, and as she's running happy to the bank again drop an original 8th book out to make even mo money.

>I still ended up pre-ordering the kindle version. an't help but feel some childish excitement for this.
Seeing someone so happy about falling for really quite stupid marketting (to be fair they did get to you as a kid) I do find disturbing/makes me uncomfortable. It feels a bit like seeing the human version of Pavlov's dog.

>>8340746
>8th book
Please be true

>>8340758
Ding a ling a ling

>>8338518
Back to rbooks, my friend, this is a board about literature.

>le insecurity xDD
Yes, I am insecure. For every place that actually deals with literature, there are fifty for this kind of crap. Go take your Harry Potters and your Stephen Kings there rather than trying to claim yet another somewhat decent community.

What's happening is part of a phenomenon I wrote about a couple of years ago when I was asked to comment on Rowling. I went to the Yale University bookstore and bought and read a copy of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." I suffered a great deal in the process. The writing was dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs." I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing.

But when I wrote that in a newspaper, I was denounced. I was told that children would now read only J.K. Rowling, and I was asked whether that wasn't, after all, better than reading nothing at all? If Rowling was what it took to make them pick up a book, wasn't that a good thing?

It is not. "Harry Potter" will not lead our children on to Kipling's "Just So Stories" or his "Jungle Book." It will not lead them to Thurber's "Thirteen Clocks" or Kenneth Grahame's "Wind in the Willows" or Lewis Carroll's "Alice."

Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Our society and our literature and our culture are being dumbed down, and the causes are very complex. I'm 73 years old. In a lifetime of teaching English, I've seen the study of literature debased. There's very little authentic study of the humanities remaining. My research assistant came to me two years ago saying she'd been in a seminar in which the teacher spent two hours saying that Walt Whitman was a racist. This isn't even good nonsense. It's insufferable.

I saw this at the theater - cool special effects, n I never really got bored whilst watching, but the story was just bad. It didnt make sense, the magic 'rules' of the established universe were just fucked off n there were a few tropes that were just bollocks. Near enough 4 hours of theatre was getting to me by the end - they could have cut it down instead of having a 2 hour intermission or whatever. But it was watchable, my siblings are big HP fans n they loved it.

>>8340799
At least you're 73. That's interesting.

>>8338682
no, it's literature for 10 year olds so we are not interested. You shouldn't be either you arrested development autist

>>8340799
This is very true

As a child, I read the entire Harry Potter series twice, and nothing else of much. I was so close-minded towards any other sort of book. I read nothing but fantasy crap for a long time. Thankfully, I read Lord of the Rings in middle school, I think, which led me on to much better books in high school

>>8338682
>>8339945
some people need to confine themselves to their r/books safe space

>>8340844
It's a Bloom quote you dumbo

>>8340799
What do you think about the post-colonial discussion of Heart of Darkness?
As some 24 year old just fresh of a book I considered incredibly rich in allussions and motifs I was appalled I stumbled upon this utter nonsense about XIX century racism, I mean why is this in any way relevant to the literary nature of the fucking work?

>>8339945
We really need a version of the sarcastic "thick solid tight" meme of /fit/'s to post at these irrelevant comments. The important bit is easy in this case:

Please keep us updated anon on your continued reading of comfy fluff.

>>8340866
>I can't enjoy popular things!
Dumb faggot

>>8340866
Its a more relevant comment than yours.

>>8340882
Which is why you should all keep us updated on your reading of fluff ;^)

>>8338518
Fuck off Rowling, you earned you shekels already

I'll buy it because my OCD won't let me alone since I already have the other books

>>8340799
>none of the newfags recognising this pasta

Holy fuck kys

This entire thread is cringeworthy, jesus christ. Worse than /pol/posters, seriously; what is wrong with people who just want to discuss a potential nostalgia trip?

>>8340918
No you may not discuss it. In a parallel to the DELETE THIS meme I say
NO DISCUSSION

>>8340859
because 'liberals' have no idea how to read a text historically and try to forcefully impose their contemporary ideology on the pantheon of art regardless of when it was created. Motherfuckers need to read some Heidegger

>>8340926
>Motherfuckers need to read some Heidegger
GET OUT (of Harvard)

>>8340878
>>8340882
the reddit brigade is at it again!

>>8340930
>Harvard
Thinking about it Yale fits better

>>8340930
>>8340960
what?

>>8341012
Bloom is infamous in some circles for chasing a lot of Heidegger loving academics out of Yale, including the main man Derrida himself.

If you buy Harry Potter books you're part of the problem -- the decay of good, decent literature and the dumbing down and consumerism of culture.

At least pirate it if you insist on reading it.

Anyone else think 50 Shades of Grey is the pinnacle of literature?

>>8341028
Probably because Heidegger once taught ontology at Hogwarts. The late James Potter was actually his student for a while IIRC.

>>8341063
If you honestly believe this, you're a dumb elitist. Potter books are for kids and teens, and for that age they're great stuff. At least bitch about Stephen King, Tom Clancy, Janet Evanovich, etc if you have to bitch.

>>8341147
>If you honestly believe this, you're a dumb elitist.
Not true, and quite mean.

>Potter books are for kids and teens,

Which is fine, but kids would be better off reading better books IMO. Bloom has a point. The worst part is that plenty of adults read this sort of stuff, like Harry Potter, Stephen King, Twilight etc, and that's all they read. It's a shame. If people keep buying bad fiction, then it will be sanctioned and we'll see more and more and more of it, and fewer good books, because they don't sell.

>Stephen King, Tom Clancy

Harry potter is just as bad.

>>8341147

they aren't "for children and teens," they're for infantile minds irrespective of age. if in that light their popularity does not bother you, I am afraid we must count you among that category.

>>8341063
Oh shut up dumbass. Shitty genre fiction has existed for centuries and it has not brought the end of literature as of yet, because there's no reason why it would or could. Most of it will just be forgotten whereas great works can be remembered for millenia.

>>8339618
TPB has a legit torrent, I've been reading it for an hour now. For essentially fanfic, it is still entertaining and has a lot of feels.

>>8341178
People get so salty about HP.

I didn't say shitty genre fiction will bring the end of great literature. For every dollar spent on Harry Potter, a dollar is potentially taken away from a better book from a struggling literary author.

The plot sucks shit.

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>>8340854
>throws a hissy fit because people want to discuss books they don't like
>says other need a "safe space" because they dared to argue back / say they'll read it

>>8341226
People who read Harry Potter and not much else are for the most part not concerned with obscure literary fiction unless they're forced into it. This has been the case for as long as widespread literacy. If harry potter did not exist those people would read other genre fiction, or not read at all. This is not a symptom of a decaying society, it is a symptom that everything is completely normal. The struggling literary author wouldn't get any more money.

In fact, a lot of things modern "fandoms" do had parallels in Sherlock Holmes fans literal centuries ago.

>>8341226
Do you seriously think those audiences overlap that much?

That's dumber than saying piracy is a 1:1 loss to content creators

>>8341271
No. You're understanding it too literally.

>>8341326
There's nothing else to your point, the difference is minuscule at best. No one is avoiding reading whatever you deem as proper because they're too engrossed in Harry Potter.

>>8341226
Jesus fuck
>people that are interested in Harry Potter would be amenable to classic and such if we could get them to stop reading fiction
You e/lit/ist are some fucking delusional scum.

>>8341269
>it is a symptom that everything is completely normal

Doesn't make it desirable.

>>8341414
No one is avoiding reading whatever you deem as proper because they're too engrossed in Harry Potter.

I don't think anything is 'proper'. You're being facile, and putting opinions in my mouth that aren't mine.

>>8341414

Do you people honestly think that demand in the supply in the book market doesn't have an overall effect on that market? What's popular and what sells influences the literary market place. You can read Bourdieu if you want.

>>8341427

You're all throwing strawmans left right and centre.

Not liking a certain kind of fiction, and thinking it's worse than another kind != elitism. I don't think people who read Harry Potter are worse or stupider than any other people. But Harry Potter's bad.

TORRENT WHERE???

>>8338518
Honestly it's going to suck but I have to read it just because it's more in that universe and she at least helped think of it.

>>8341458
literally anywhere

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>plot is about Harry's son and Draco's son going back in time with Cedric Diggory's niece to prevent his death
>steal a secret time turner even though they were all supposedly destroyed
>they go back and prevent Cedric from dying and uh oh the future got changed which directly goes against the rules of the HP universe where time travel is a closed causality loop and you can't create alternate universes by changing things in the past BUT WHATEVER LOL
>the world is now evil, Voldemort has taken over, and there's a grimdark Hogwarts
>everyone calls Scorpius (Draco's son) "The Scorpion King"
>lots of dumb shit happens
>eventually the kids and Harry himself go back all the way to the night Voldemort killed Harry's parents
>Harry goes totally out of character and tells his son that he's a failure which got a bunch of people on tumblr fuckin pissed
>turns out that the girl who said she was Cedric's niece was actually A SECRET LOVECHILD OF VOLDEMORT AND BELLATRIX LESTRANGE NO SERIOUSLY I'M NOT EVEN MAKING THIS UP
>they all fight, the good guys win and the day is saved
>the end

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>>8341520
>could have gotten fun plot-thin slice of life in the Harry Potter world
>instead this

>>8341520
>the same lit quality as a Light novel
and people still try to defend harry potter...

>>8341477
bullshit i can't find any

>>8340799
Is Bloom a legitimate critic or a hack?

>>8341568
bibliotik, tpb

Why would I get the in-progress version when I can wait and get the Definitive Edition early next year?

>>8338518
pleb general?

>>8341617

what

>>8341650
>Theatre previews allow the creative team the chance to rehearse and explore scenes further before a production’s official opening night. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child opens for previews several weeks before its official first performance on Saturday 30 July and the Special Rehearsal Edition of the script book will later be replaced by a Definitive Collector’s Edition.

>the Special Rehearsal Edition of the script book will later be replaced by a Definitive Collector’s Edition.

https://www.pottermore.com/news/ww-publishing-cursed-child-script-book-announcement

>>8341654

Why would you buy this book at all, definitive or not, is what I want to know. It's like buying Shakespeare in text form except it's not good.

>>8341520
i am mildly horrified this is the actual story.. i thought it was a joke when i first read the summary.

>reading ebook now
>absolute rubbish
>childhood memories ruined

>>8341581
To a small few he's legitimate. Most academics disagree with him. Some are outright hostile toward him.

He reckons he's a pariah at his university, Yale.

Many of his views and opinions about the canon, about genre fiction, about other things, are hated.

Even those who disagree with him about many things, however, can appreciate some of his formal critiques though. His work on Shakespeare is okay. The anxiety of influence idea of his is underwhelming.

He's the most widely read literary academic critic. He's actually mainstream.

>>8341162
>and fewer good books, because they don't sell.
no one writes good books with the view of making good money

I heard it's out, anyone have spoilers?

>>8341722
>come to /lit/
>can't read

>>8341730
oops haha

>>8341711
But publisher's publish books based on that.

And writer's are informed by what's popular to a certain degree.

>>8341520
Jesus Christ

Why is she still milking it? She's rich enough that there's no reason for her to write this shitty fan fiction level stuff.

>>8341520
>Amos Diggory (Cedrics father) hates harry and resents him for letting Cedric die
>In the end of Goblet of Fire Cedric's parents both forgive Harry and don't blame him for Cedrics death
>Voldermort can't feel love because he was conceived under a love potion
>Voldermort has a fucking love child
>Oh remember how time turners work? JK LOL they don't work like that anymore

How the fuck are normies defending this? It sounds like a really really bad fanfic

>>8341876
Really bad fanfics have massive followings

>love potions shown to be thoroughly evil things, even contributed to the creation of Voldemort
>Ron gifts Harry's son with a love potion in the play and it's treated like a cute joke
>Ron's character as a whole is gutted worse than in the movies, he's literally only an incompetent comic relief character
What the fuck

>>8341954
>>8341876
my thoughts exactly, this entire play reads like some horribly uninformed fanfic.

people keep forgetting that rowling did not write this, she merely said OK to it being written. with that in mind, it doesn't surprise me at all to see how out of place everything is.

Don't read this book.
I've never even been on this board, I mainly lurk /v/ and /mu/, but god damn I had to come here and say so myself after just having finished it.
It was so fucking stupid and poorly written. From the couple of replies I've read you guys clearly don't think Rowling's writing style is good but I can tell you this is much worse, and I'm not much of a reader. I thoroughly enjoyed reading HP while growing up but this just sucked. The plot was dumb, All the dialogue was dumb and cringey, everyone is completely out of character all the time, and a bunch of other small shit that adds up. Like Ron telling dad jokes and running the joke shop, the fuck is up with that? I remember at the end of Deathly Hallows, Harry and he are top aurors within the ministry or some shit.
Anyway, don't read this, it's not worth the four hours.

I just finished it and I regret staying up all night reading it before I have to go to work. However, it did have some nice moments even though there was a shit ton of exposition and parts that I'll never be able to forget when I re watch the movies or read the books. Although the plot sucked, this would have been much better as a novel.

Instead of releasing a definitive edition they should really just rewrite the damn thing. They obviously can't change the shit plot, but it would be much more digestible in the standard Harry Potter book format.

>>8338527
Kek

>>8340768
Exactly!

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>>8338682
Are you going to be a snarky cunt because we aren't interested in discussing children's literature?

Get a grip you fucking manchild.

>>8342009
>finished it

the fuck? is the book really that short?

>>8342431
It's in script format, a pretty fast read.

>>8342431
182 pages of script.

Anon is a snobbish self-entitled elitist dettached from reality.

In my shitty third world country, children are mandated to read classics that they are not yet able to fully appreciate, thus they become frustrated and tell literature to fuck off.

Books like HP make children grab a book with joy. It's far more important that a child develops a love for literature, than the kind of books they're reading.

>>8342649
Why are you so intent on being the victim? No anon can stop you actually posting a discussion or interesting points on HP. But you haven't done that, you've just whined about big mean anon not sharing your views.

It seems a lot to me like you thank the Gods for giving you HP because otherwise you wouldn't feel so comfortable shit posting on a literature board.

Tbh I would welcome the day when there were enough of you to start shitting up the board since you'd end up with your own board where you could post shitty comments to your heart's content.

>>8342737
Actually in my country (Spain) at some point you have to read Cervantes. Guess how many people end up enjoying it. You cannot force patrician works to plebeians.

>>8342737
I haven't stated my personal regard for HP books. Simply argueing for the benefits such books can bring to society.

Anon certainly can make Anon feel ashamed of Anon's tastes. There are too many Anons enjoying only what they're allowed to. /lit/ is wonderful to discuss very good literature, but its shit-shaming is counter-productive.

>>8342772
You must read El Quijote, by all means. But it can't be your first book, or even your fifth.

People regarded as plebs can grow a love for literature, to dismiss them by default is a mistake, in my opinion. Wouldn't all of us benefit from people reading more? Don't most of us whine constantly about the stupid herd mentality that results in our governments and social morals?

>>8342783
Well explain that to the teenagers that end up hating the book, searching plot summaries on the internet. If you can't lift 10 kg you should not get forced to lift 50.

>>8342795
That's my point. I think teenagers end up hating the book, because they're forced into it. I think it would be more beneficial to ease them into literature. Make them read easy, albeit shitty stuff. Make them read the HPs and the Artemis Fowls. Focus on making them love literature and then, and only then, you can guide them towards Cervantes and Dostoyevsky and Borges and the wonders of good literature.

>>8342805
But reading Harry Potter won't ease them into literature. It will ease them into reading words off a page of paper, that's all.

>>8342805
I think you could start with children's literature in elementary, but good children's literature. Alice in wonderland, the hobbit, the little prince and so on

I disagree Anon, I've seen it myself. But mine is an argument from anecdote and yours from opinion: we won't get anywhere.

Have a good day, Anon.

Ghostwritten.

Calling it now;

The Magic is gone.

Save your childhood memories from despoilment.

>>8342821
I would argue that children would have an easier time connecting to contemporary books. But your suggestions are very good.

>>8342830
it's based on an original story by JK rowling and written by jack thorne

tl;dr: this play is written by jack thorne

>>8341876
Amos was under the imperius curse by Delphi (Voldemort's child), and you don't need to "love" to have sex.

The time Turner thing is explained as these being new time turners with more abilities and so on, but it's still fucking dumb.

Worst part of the play is that you can see that they did the time travel thing merely, MERELY to shoehorn fanservice regarding ships and to further portray Snape and Dumbledore as tragic heroes.

Even then the worst part is that Delphi's characterization is all over the place. She just wants to meet her father (who at this point is feet away from her) and Harry, and orphan himself basically goes "WELL YOU NEVER WILL LOL OFF TO AZKABAN FOR LIVE WITH YOU".

Also has no one mentioned the "trolley witch" being a T-1000 yet?

Is there a torrent up yet? I'm a masochist.

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>mfw reading this

>>8338682
We talk about mainstream lit all the time.

looking for a pdf lads

>>8343094
Look you fucking faggot. Of course there is.

>>8343367
>>8343094
It's on TPB.

The only Harry Poter book I've read in English before was Deathly Hallows, so when a character named Bane appeared in this, I couldn't stop thinking of dank 4chan memes.
>He actually says "For you"
Oh God

Back to the future 2 and 3.

>>8340768
underrated post.

the only thing worse than the fact that there are grown men and women who only read literal children's books is the fact that they control practically every literature forum on the Internet

>>8338518
>1. All literature discussion is welcome, however fan-fic is not allowed.

>>8341876
>Voldermort can't feel love because he was conceived under a love potion
Is that canon? I don't think that has ever occurred to me, unless my memory is fucked and it is something that was plainly spelled out in the books.

>>8343687
There are so many wizards in harry potter that whenever something changes just remember a wizard did it.

And whenever something doesn't make sense.

Or if you wonder why every side seems vaguely evil.

Black hermoine is minister for magic though... so there is that.

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>>8343687
If I remember correctly Voldemort's mother had his father under a love potion from the inception of them meeting because she was a hideous hag.

>>8343719
I know, but I'm specifically wondering if it's canon that he can't feel love as a result of that.

>>8343716
>Black hermoine is minister for magic though
Hermione isn't black in my reading. Interesting.

>>8343753
That's just the Bernstein berenstain split.

>>8343496
Back to the Future is actually enjoyable and fun to watch though

>>8343735
Not the same anon but I think Dumbledore confirms this at the end of Deathly Hallows. I do remember the stuff about being conceived because of a love potion though.

>>8340768
I dont like hp or stephen king because im educated and supersmart see ?
Im gonna go and masturbate to my image in a mirror while videotaping it okay ?
>well be here anon

>>8340799
>I'm 73 years old
Why are you on 4chan grandpa ?
bobby shouldhave put you back on the oxy mask by now

I'm a sexually active 26-year-old girl, and I have to say, as a life-long Harry Potter fan (ok, not life long, but you get what I mean!) I have to say that this book, and the play itself, just did not live up to expectations. The plot was, shall we say, rather cliched, while the action and dialogue lacked the subtlety and humour I've come to expect from Rowlings's work.

>>8343950
The real bait is the subtlety and humor part. There is fanfiction better written than harry potter.

But regardless, post tits.

>>8344002
Not her (well, actually, I am) but if you don't appreciate the fact that the Harry Potter novels were subtly and humorous then you really are a lost cause.

>>8343719
So it's okay to Roofie someone if you aren't ugly. And you're often ugly if you're canonically evil.

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what

>>8344225
Oh god is this for real? I just spat out my coffee from laughing.

>>8344231
I'm reading it now, it's real

I had to screenshot that part because it was so absurd

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>>8344231
>>8344225

>>8344225
Well then.
I don't know what I was expecting from references to her being a T-1000
But it certainly wasn't that.

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>>8343950

I'm a sexually inactive 27 year old boy, and I stopped enjoying HP when I was about 13 years old.

The first few books were amazing to read as a kid, but I only finished the series out of loyalty and because everyone was doing it. The last two books were an abysmal drag. I liked stuff like Nancy Farmer or Lian Hearn way more in my late childhood/early teens. By the time I was 16 I read "real" literature or at least "adult" genre fic almost exclusively, and I can't imagine going back to YA.

If you like HP that's fine but I think it's quite odd.

>>8344225
I couldn't believe what I was reading at that part. Reminded me of
>WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

>>8338518

Can't wait until they churn out a new movie because of this, fuck the book tbqh famalits.

>>8340847
How can it be for 10 year olds if the book franchise is 19 years old? You are retarded?

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You're a big centaur

>>8344438
>How is Sesame Street still a kids show if it's been around for 46 years?

>>8344225
This reads like a series of non-sequiters. Also there's no way she would use her hands to make all those pumpkin pasties, either house elves would bake them or she would use some form of magical utensil like Mrs. Weasley does.

>>8344457
Reminder that you should curse a death eater before throwing him out of a plane.

how does it end. I wanna go shout the ending at people in the parking lot of my local Barnes.

>>8344632
You can shout "Nothing changes, the plot is inconsequential". Or "Harry and Albus end up kind of loving each other", if you like.

>>8340847
Careful with those buzzwords, they're sharp.
>Being angry at a person for being excited about a book
Anyway you want to argue it, you're still the idiot here senpai.

this was really bad, fan service in its most terrible form, Harry Potter is so simple but they completely got the tone wrong.

>>8341658
This. Shameless cash grab on Scholastic's part. The play sounds like a great time desu, a love letter to the fans if you will, but in text form it's just going to be a mindfuck shitfest

>>8343735
I think that's dumbledore's interpretation in the books, but I'm sure present day rowling would rather you think it's because voldy grew up unloved in an orphange and what not. Liberals always pretend that nurture overrides nature.

>>8344751
I can't fathom why Rowling approved this, it really does read like awful fan fiction

>>8344148
No, it was the fact that she was such a hag, to get into Riddle to even acknowledge her she had to roofie him with the potion.

>Voldemort Day
>Blood Ball

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>>8344852

>>8344811
It left me thoroughly discombobulated.

>>8344860
FOR VOLDEMORT AND VALOUR

>>8344860
MORE

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>>8344870

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>>8344873
The crossover I never knew I wanted.

>>8344868
HAPPY VOLDEMORT DAY!

>>8344933
lmao let's go torture some Mudbloods in the dungeons

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jesus fucking christ

>>8344949
this future is so bleak that we constantly have to remind everyone how miserable everyone is, aren't we all having a terrible time? Anyway, let's go to the Blood Ball!

>>8344910
And then Scorpius never does. What a dick.

>>8344955
like pottery

>>8344955
>This is almost a Spartacus moment.

>>8344998
Is it time for /ss/?

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>Someone like JK Rowling is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good Seuss novel.

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>Rowling seems to be too concerned with other novels. I mean, about appropriating other book, like in a blender. I think it’s, like, really funny at the time I’m seeing it, but then, I don’t know, there’s a void there. Some of the references are flat, just pop culture.

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>I gave her shit. I'll never work with her again... I told her, you're so boring you get in these ruts, you've got to get yourself to a liberal arts class. My career with Mrs. Rowling is over.

>>8344897
Holy shit thats literal trash

>>8339342
It's not a play turned book, it's just the stageplay. It's in no way a book.

source: I own it.

>>8345032
He never said this, none of these quotes are real.

>>8338518

the bitch should just take a few screenwriting classes and just make movies

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>I’ll never read them again, but I will keep it. I’ll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work.

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>I’m not a fucking retard like J.K. Rowling.

>>8345120
>none of these quotes are real
Damn, and there was me thinking Ayn Rand talked shit about Potter.

>>8345213
She literally wrote the screenplay for Fantasic Beasts

>>8345207
christ

>>8343025
>Also has no one mentioned the "trolley witch" being a T-1000 yet?
fucking kek, her hands turned into spikes too. Despite that, the kids had no fucking problem ditching the train

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>I’m not against the word, and I use it, but not excessively. And some people speak that way. But, Rowling is infatuated with that word. What does she want to be made — an honorary magician?

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>Lewis, Sanderson, and Martin move in the same field as Tolkien. Rowling was on her way, but expired, suffocated by her own tediousness.

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>It’s like reading a schoolgirl’s fantasy of magic and satanism, which normally Rowling would be wanking alone to in her bedroom while this mother is making her baked beans downstairs. Only this time she’s got Warner Brothers behind her and it’s on at a million screens.

you guys probably weren't even born when this classic potter spoiler video came out https://youtu.be/4x_WUb68RQo

>>8340847
arrested development is great

Draco: "oh look, I had a time turner the whole time and it's an even better version. How convenient!"
Ron: "hoho, I'm the comic relief, so I talk like I'm literally half retarded"
Scorpius: "I know the exact reactions of potion ingredients in my fourth fucking year"
Hermione: "better not lock the door so that two students can't just get in with a simple spell, wouldn't want my office to be secure"
Harry: "divination from centaurs are so accurate, I'll just go nuts and continue to behave like vernon dursley."
Albus: "better tell everyone in the new timeline that they have the wrong job or wife, even after it's completely clear, that everything changed. Also, I better sound like a 4 year old when he learns santa isn't real

>>8345313
>Ron: "hoho, I'm the comic relief, so I talk like I'm literally half retarded"

This really did shit on Ron all the way through, it's like Steve Kloves got his hands on it

Rowling seems to have retroactively decided Ron is just comic relief too. Sad

>>8342225
why are you in this thread though

man, this was p bad. scorpius is a chill bro, though.

>>8345313
>Hermione: "better not lock the door so that two students can't just get in with a simple spell, wouldn't want my office to be secure"

t.bh. 99% of harry potter's plots revolve around shitty security

>>8345360
Scorpius was the only well thought out character

>>8345360
True, but it would have been nice, if hermione, who used this spell in her first year, would have thought about preventing it from working.

>>8338518
STRETCHED

what did you lads read as a kid instead of Harry Potter?

my aunt got me Joseph Delaney's books in the 'Wardstone Chronicles'

Stopped reading when Scorpius was in the compartment like, "Yeah, I have father-son issues." Holy fuck I didn't expect it to be good but jeeeeeesus

>>8345417
as a Dutch person all the historical novels by Thea Beckman, a lot of fun.

>>8345417
Redwall.

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>all the harry potter fans who preordered the book but forgot about pic related

I think it desperately needs addressing that this fucking script uses the word "discombobulated" so many times to describe characters feeling confused or disoriented, and never any other word in place of it. It's like it was the playwright's favourite word and he wanted to get it in there as many times as he could.
Is "discombobulated" the new "stretched his legs"?

>>8345417
Eddie Dickens, Horrible Histories and various Roald Dahl books

>>8345417
I read Harry Potter because I had a goof childhood, my parents actually loved me. I feel sorry for the proletariat class who read shit like Alice in Wonderland and Frankenstein; those books are complete and utter garbage and they are praised to no end, specifically on this board.

>>8345794
>he
harry potter writer is a woman you know

>>8345417
Narnia

>>8345805
no...

>>8345794
almost like how Rowling would always write about Harry's "insides" to convey emotions

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>>8345803

>>8344719
you used the wrong anyway you pleb. go back to reading Divergent or whatever the fuck

>>8345829
WHY ARE YOU IN THIS THREAD

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>>8341520
>>8341876
>>8343025
I've read fanfiction that is better than that piss stream of alphabet soup that's called a screenplay.

>>8343227
Why do you have a reaction gif of Hermione on your computer?

>>8340799
It's a bloom critique from way back when you fucking newfags

I think it's irrelevant to this conversation, the question was "will lit read the new Harry Potter," not "does lit think Harry Potter represents the rape of our beloved literature by social scientists and Syrian refugees."

No I will not read it unless it's the only thing available, because it's fucking boring like the rest of her work. Her adult mysteries were at least kind of good if not prose-weak

>>8340799
is Bloom the /lit/ equivalent of the Scaruffi Beatles pasta

>>8345952
yes

>>8344996
Fuck, I didn't even notice lol

>>8345213
J.K. Rowling didn't write this for fuck's sake. The playwright's name is right on the cover.

>>8345256
This sort of "spoiler hate" really shows the shallowness of Harry Potter. Why do people care about Harry Potter spoilers so much? Because once you know that Snape kills Dumbledore, there's no point in reading the book. Knowing the ending absolutely ruins the book for people.

>>8345805
Listen to me Anon, this is very important. Scroll up this page, ok? And when you do, there will be an image of Cursed Child's cover, can you see it? Now, read the text at the bottom of the cover very carefully. Very, very carefully. Read it? Now, lil' Anon, tell me: Who wrote the play?

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holy shit kek

>>8346916
It says the story's by JK Rowling. Then in smaller letters Jack Thorne and John Tiffany

I know the reception's been embarrassing for her but there's no point pretending like she didn't write this drivel.

>>8346923
Love spell...

Did Ginny roofie Harry? Is that why Albus is a bit of a shit? Is that how come uncle Ron just suggests using love potions? Could the love potions are the root of all evil reading be true?

>>8338518
http://libgen.io/ads.php?md5=309E2D6023D110E94291427EBD76315D

>>8341876
Normies loved 50 Shades and that was a Twilight fanfic. The only reason most people hated on fanfiction before seems to have been lack of access, and now they can all post that shit on social media their true colors have come through.

>>8346927
Yes, she did create the story, along with Jack Thorne and John Tiffany. But the one who actually wrote the play based on that story was Jack Thorne. We're not discussing who's responsible for all this bullshit. We're discussing whether the playwright was a man or a woman.
>>8345794 called the playwright a "he"
>>8345805 replied that the writer is a woman
Read the whole discussion next time, not just the last post.

>>8346938
>Read the whole discussion next time
Screw that. And you asked who wrote the play, so I told you. JK Rowling.

It was probably her that stuck discombobulated in so many times too.

>>8346942
>Screw that. And you asked who wrote the play, so I told you. JK Rowling.

the reason her name is on the cover is purely for marketing purposes, she didn't write shit.

>>8346942
>A PLAY BY JACK THORNE
>so you see anon, JK Rowling wrote it just as I said

>>8345417
aw shit nigga, they were pretty fun. Delaney came to our school a few times, seemed a nice guy. Definitely looked a lot worse after his wife died though...

"You know what? I'm done being made responsible for your unhappiness. At least you've got a dad. Because I didn't, okay?"
"And you think that was unlucky? I don't."
"You wish me dead?"
"No! I just wish you weren't my dad."
"Well, there are times I wish you weren't my son."

— Harry & Albus Potter

Just in here to rant because I complained to my friend about the story breaking time travel laws set by the previous entries and he was all "I don't see anything wrong, because last time they only went back a few hours, and this time it's many years".

And yes, I know the "it's a new model of time turner" thing. But then in the last run Albus writes something on kid Harry's blanket and that directly affects the current timeline instead of causing another branch.

I don't know who the fuck Jack Thorne is but consistency or writing scenarios or dialogue that aren't corny as hell aren't his strengths.

This is shit. Why was this even made? Rowling is already rich as fuck. I can't imagine she's craving for more suddenly after all these years.

Harry Potter may not be great literature but the first few books made me very happy when I was a kid. But fuck this. I'm glad I just pirated it.

>>8344862
>discombobulated
This is my new favourite word.

>>8346899
She's credited as the writer of the original story that the play is based on, though. So at least the basic idea has to be hers.

>>8346955
It's honestly of the same quality and style as the rest of her work.

>>8346960
That means he adapted the plot and dialogue and so on into a stage play format. You see anon, there are significant differences between a normal book and a stage play.

>>8346923
wasn't it some deflection spell or something?

If you’re not familiar with the original books and characters, good luck following all this: the new story dives straight into the action, with no pause for recaps. But its combination of pacy plotting and wit-driven dialogue, though written by Thorne, feels fully part of Rowling’s vision. Many favourite characters from the earlier books are revisited and even resurrected.

as a reader, you have time to appreciate on the page how nimbly Thorne’s writing navigates the adventure’s death-defying twists and turns. And his stage directions have a poetry of their own, a style that in its lyricism and sense of the abstract is distinct from Rowling’s more direct, story-driven prose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeAKX_0wZWY

this is a good video explaining a trend in Hollywood remakes which applies to this play as well, it's insane how much of the drama and enjoyment here relies on intertextuality and the success of past books

>>8347014
That's definitely a big thing in this era of remakes and reboots.
But I liked the previous Harry Potter books and that didn't help me enjoy this.
I was like 16 when I read the last one, so maybe I have changed with time, but even then, I remember quite a bit of the original stories and still could notice when previous things were referred to.
But I feel like that in itself was a negative for me. There was so much dwelling in the past and so little new. Nothing new to discover.

The biggest plothole is Harry's scar aching and him talking to snakes again.
Those were due to the part of Voldemort in him which was destroyed in the last book in order to kill Voldemort. That part is now gone. And that part had no connection to Delphi to begin with.

Reminds me of Go Set a Watchman where a wave of marketing and nostalgia propels a shitty 'book' as hard as it possibly can before people get wise about it.

Where do you fags download your audiobooks?

>>8346975
What the fuck.
>this is what jack thorne thinks are normal problems in normal father-son relationships
>jack thorne thinks harry would use his own tragedies as a weapon against his son
>jack thorne thinks harry would be a shit dad
This stuff is unforgivable

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>>8338518
>all the hp fanboys coming out of the woodwork again

Ron's character is always killed in any adaptation.

>>8338518
Lads do yourselves a favor and dont go to the goodreads review. for fuck sake dont do it!

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29056083-harry-potter-and-the-cursed-child

>>8347428
Most of these "reviews" are from long before the book was even released.

>>8347065
a udiobookbay. or the popular sites. switch credit cards to get continuous free ones at audible

>>8345010
>almost

Pray to god dont watch this shit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrntJgGdT2c

>>8345372
They would've just given the two students a new and improved spell that could unlock five doors at once without altering a single one.

>>8346980
>But then in the last run Albus writes something on kid Harry's blanket and that directly affects the current timeline instead of causing another branch.
Wow I didn't even think of that. It doesn't even follow its own new rules.

>>8346929
It's actually a popular fan theory. It would explain why Harry suddenly wanted to jump her bones when she had done nothing but whore around with other guys and spew spaghetti whenever he was within ten feet of her. She certainly had enough chances to dose him with some, and her mom has used it before for shits and giggles before.

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>>8344868
>>8344852
...so that leak I read about a few weeks ago was true. Jesus no, NO.

>>8346980
Not long ago she revealed that it's impossible to go back in time more than just a few days (if I remember).

>>8347486
Wouldn't make sense. Ginny was dating Dean at the time Harry started falling for her (and she isn't clever enough to use this as a cover).

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My copy arrived today.

>>8347601
>buying a copy when the Definitive Edition is out early next year
JUST

>>8347619
I doubt a Definitive Edition could fix this.

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>>8347619
I regret buying it altogether.

Bloodball, for Voldemort and Valor, awful time travelling, Voldemort's cumdump child. Jesus fucking Christ.

>>8342009
To be fair Ron quitting being an Auror and running the joke shop was already canon before the play came out.

>>8347682
What the fuck happened to George?

>>8347709
They run the shop together.
Also George was apparently never able to summon a Patronus after Fred died.

>>8347743
J.K Rowling is a fucking joke. What the fuck happened to her to make her think not having family makes your life automatically garbage?

>"Yeah Fred is dead now and George feels no happiness because he is a shell of his former self. Also i killed Lupin and Tonks off because i felt like making a Harry Potter parallel with Teddy. But hey at least Percy and Ginny survived!"

>>8347767
To get an emotional response from readers, obviously.
The bond between the brothers was so strong that one dying means the other will be mourning forever! etc.

>>8341617
>>8341654
>>8347619
DLC has been brought to writing by JK Rowling.

It used to be you'd do something like publishing in a literary journal and getting bits of feedback and revising, but that was in the bad old days before readers were consumers to be milked.

>>8347796
Their relationship is was will forever be weird as fuck.

This shit already reads like a bad fanfiction, i can't wait to see what the fanfiction for this will be like.

>>8347833
It'll birth the next 50 shades. Since the last fanfic adaptation of a shitty fantasy book was based in business, the next logical progression is Law. It follows Hermione in whatever her role is with House Elves as an Erin Brokovitch type character, with a secondary plot involving Harry and Ginny breaking up with Albus in the middle of it a la Kramer v Kramer.

It's not even set out properly like play texts should be. It presents the scenes as chapters instead of it being a linear thing and only having the acts split. The font chosen is horrible + disgusting
0/10 would not read

I can't deny how much j loved the HP books as a kid or how excited I was for every release. My mom read the first two to me and my sister and I carried on from there. It was a perfect situation because I was just a year or two younger than the initial readers, keeping me from fully outgrowing the series. There was a HP movie marathon on TV yesterday that I caught the last three of and it was super nostalgic. Really brought me back and conjured up happy memories. I'll probably read them to my kids someday.

That said, I'm not delusional enough to think that they would hold up now as an adult with a matured taste in literature. There is no chance I'd read this script. If it gets made into a movie I'll probably watch it or if I could make it to the theater, I'd do that too. But grown adults wanting to spend their time (probably weeks worth of reading for most of them) with this half-assed children's story is a little twisted.

>>8338527
Do you have to be so gay? Let me guess, the books are widely liked by the public so it is beneath you? If it's not some obscure writing of a mad man in a foreign language then it can't be good? Go back to whatever club you founded for yourself and have a nice day.

>>8347894

Kid, they just aren't well written books. The fact that you have fond memories of reading them, doesn't change that in any way.

>>8347911
A book is well written if written is such a way that people enjoy reading it. Also, I am probably older then you (not that such things matter during a discussion, but nice ad hominem).

>>8347884
>But grown adults wanting to spend their time (probably weeks worth of reading for most of them) with this half-assed children's story is a little twisted.
Nigga wut, I read this thing in a couple of hours.

>>8338518
>A novel by Hideo Kojima

>>8347894
>The books are widely liked by the public so it is beneath you?

The book is definitely not well liked by the public.

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>Voldemort had a secret daughter with Bellatrix

>>8348006
Since when was Harry Potter not well liked by the public?
Even this piece of garbage which is worse than the rest are getting rave reviews.

>>8348012
>Even this piece of garbage which is worse than the rest are getting rave reviews.
It's quite a niche market tho now. Compared to the piece of universal culture we had before.

>>8348012
I meant the play is not well liked by the public. Sure some people liked the play, but they hated the screenplay.

>>8340694
>preordering kindle version
please de-DRM it and post upload link tyvmfam

>>8348041
Can't you just download a currently available .mobi and use it?

>>8348041
There are loads of readily available de-DRM'd versions available, super easy to locate

>>8347920

>50 shades of grey is well written

This sort of opinion is exactly why people suggest you go to another website such as reddit.


Also complaining about "ad hominem" (you mean generic derogatory remark buddy) while your previous post started with "do you have to be so gay?", makes it hard to take you seriously.

I was half convinced Albus and Scorpio were going to kiss at some point

I was disappointed

>>8348095
they acted really gay throughout, would've sort of been good, when Scorpio asked Rose out I was stunned.

>>8348095
I thought this too, and I'm not even a 'shipper'

>>8347985
Yeah, but most adult HP fans still have middle school level reading speeds/comprehension.

“Pearl dust is a relatively rare ingredient, isn’t it?”
“Mainly because it’s pretty expensive.”
HUH?

>>8348095
>>8348110
>>8348141
she set up so in a couple years she can go on twitter and say they are bi

>>8348193
Nah, everyone hates bisexuals.
Polys are the new in thing.

>>8348257
ok, how about gender fluid?

>>8348268
Albus is all about chugging Scorpius' gender fluid

>>8348273
Pls anon, I can only get so erect

>>8348035
Is there any way I can watch the play? Maybe the way it was acted out is more comedic and makes ammends for the shitty writing

>>8348292
I feel like they made a big mistake by publishing this script.
If there are any positives to this (doubtful), they'll never be noticed by the people who read the script, and as the stageplay is currently only for brits, most of the world will be reading the script instead. And the script reads like the concentrated essence of bovine waste.

>>8348309
I feel like they made a big mistake by writing this script.

>>8348292
>>8348309
From what i hear the play was actually really good. No idea where you can see it though, which is a shame because i really want to see how stupid the trolley witch looked on stage.

>>8338518
Isn't this the book where Hermione is a black woman lol

>>8348335
Only in the play on stage

>>8348342
Which, let's be honest here, doesn't matter. She's not the first actor to play a racelifted role, and she won't be the last.

>>8348342
>>8348356

I can't believe they made Hermione black.

Ron has mixed babies?

>>8348356
Yeah but black Hermione is a little weird because there was a thing on Tumblr where people came up with a fan theory that Hermione was black because she had frizzy hair. Even though she has been described as pale, is depicted as white in the movies and in all the books artwork, and would automatically change the meaning of the word 'mudblood'.

>>8348376
Mixed girls a cute though.

>>8348377
Also, Rowling always specified if a character was black in her books, like she did for Lee Jordan or Dean Thomas.

"Frizzy" is an odd way to describe African hair, anyways. Especially when, IIRC, it was used as a means to make fun of her by the other girls.

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>>8348377
J. K. Rowling needs to pander to the tumblr crowd if Harry Potter is to survive.

I kind of wish they picked a better looking black woman, though. I don't care if I'm shallow or whatever, but this woman looks ugly by actress standards. Maybe they were going for the whole large teeth and bushy hair thing, but the movies ignored that just fine.

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>>8348382
not this one

>>8348411
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This would be so sad if it wasn't so funny

>>8348385
She wasn't black in the book ffs. Stop having this conversation. It doesn't need any more discussion. SHE WAS NOT BLACK. SHE WAS WHITE. A SICKLY, PALE WHITE. A CRACKER. A HONKEY. A GHOSTLY LOOKING ENGLISH GEEK JUST LIKE ROWLING HERSELF. STOP WITH THIS SHIT. SHE WAS NOT FUCKING BLACK.

>>8348193
>twitter
>in a couple years
lol

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>>8348411
>black woman and the whitest man alive have a kid
>the kid is almost as black as the mother
Yep, I'm salty.

>>8348400

But why does a multimillionaire (maybe even billionaire?) need to pander at all? Why does she care?

She needs to permanently close the book on the Harry Potter stories. It's done, the tale has been told. move the fuck on and go do something else with your life.

>>8348426
I wish Deathly Hallows was the last of it, this tarnishes it for me.

>>8348426
>But why does a multimillionaire (maybe even billionaire?) need to pander at all? Why does she care?
That's along the same lines as why she agreed to this in the first place.
And it's not ending there. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is yet to come, and apparently she wrote the screenplay for it herself, unlike this which was mostly Jack Thorne.
So why does she still do this? Who knows. Maybe it's not the money. Maybe she just wants to be relevant, have people talking about her stuff.

>>8348411
She isn't mixed.

>>8345794
or the new "indignantly"

>>8348426
She wasn't pandering. She wasn't even involved in the casting, she just said she approved it

>>8348501

Her making Gandalf gay or saying that Hermione could be black (not the actress in the play, the character in the original books) is absolutely pandering to the tumblr crowd. She knows damn well she did not intend either of these things while writing the characters.

>>8348506
Uh, reading Deathly Hallows you can absolutely tell that Dumbledore was in love with Grindelwald

Why the fuck would they use the time travel shit again?
It was a huge mistake the first time, and easily one of the worst working plot elements in a series of absolutely horrible lazy ass plot movers.

Its fanfiction tier.

>>8348418
Good thing you made this angry post, otherwise I might have just gone on for hours and hours in all the ways that Hermeeown is not black. Nice save, Anon.

>>8348524
There's tolerable HP fanfiction, but this is just bad.

>>8348532
Real talk though, of course she's white.
Have you ever seen a black person give their kid a name from a Shakespeare play?

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>>8348551

>>8348506
Hermione being black is definitely pandering but Dumbledore being gay was heavily implied in the 7th book. Considering Dumbledore is one of those fuckers that treat love like a drug it makes sense it would be the only thing he would be willing to commit genocide over.

>>8348551
I loved the fact that everyone ignores the fact she was white on all the books artwork.

>>8341520
You forgot
>Oh, hi, I'm Delphi, you should try to remember me because of reasons
>Oh, shit, I'm Delphi again, we've met twice now - Guess that means we're best friends!
>btw I don't talk to any other characters and my reason for being around is never explained
>lol, here I am at Hogwarts again, friends - Yeah, I can just walk in and out like I want, and I don't particularly have any good reason for being here. Funny, huh? See you around, F-R-I-E-N-D-S!
>TOP KEK, I WAS EVIL ALL ALONG- BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING WOOOOOOP
>Oh, yeah, I'm Voldie's daughter, which explains all about why I'm evil, despite all that ranting about Scorpious being nice despite having an eeeeehvul father, because all people have the potential for evil and good! ;33
Someone needs to shoot Rowling.
I refuse to believe that this old tumblerina had anything to do with the writing of the first three books.

>>8348411
Ron got fucking cucked.

AGAIN.

>>8348650
The fourth book was decent as well. The fifth book was a fucking trainwreck with a hint of Harry getting a actual concussion. The sixth book becomes pants on jeans retarded when you already know that Snape kills Dumbledore. Seventh book is absolute trash.

>>8348704
I agree with everything you say, but I think the first three were DEFINITIVELY written by someone else, and that the fourth might have been the new author(/s) trying to stick to formula before going complete batshit in the fifth.

>I'm Hermione, the smartest witch ever, currently the minister for magic
>accidentally end up with the most powerful magical artifact in the world, which is easily weaponized
>a lot of signs that dark powers are gathering
>better lock my office door with a muggle key
>better hide OP artifact in a bookshelf with a silly riddle as protection
Well, at least we're somewhat protected from extremely dumb evil people.

>>8348724
The fifth book was just them really peddling the whole 'Ministry is evil and wizards are stupid' trope, complete with their very own Adolf Hitler teacher. Harry- being the potato that we all know and love- constantly calls the teacher out on her bullshit only to be punished by having his hand carved. So what does he do? He does it again for two dozen weeks because he's such a glutton for pain. A bunch of stupid shit goes down, The golden trio decides to start a fight club, and Harry decides being stupid is too time consuming so he offshores his retardation onto Hermione. Hermione, becoming overloaded with his retardation, automatically writes a list of witnesses for the secret fight club they have going on. She is smart enough to put a curse on it to try and prevent people from revealing the club but Harry's retardation doesn't like that! Because of her intelligent idea not only does it force her to make the curse only work AFTER they are revealed, but it makes her name their fight club 'Dumbledore's Army'. Even more retarded shit happens, Umbridge actually gets gang raped by centaurs in the story. Harry's retardation comes back from it's vacation only to force him to go to the ministry (AKA Nazi Wizard home base). Long story short nothing happens except we get the classic prophecy trope and they kill one of the only mildly competent adults in the whole country.This is funny because he is still one of the most competent adults in the wizarding world even though he was mentally insane. After watching the last family he had left that cared about him die before his very eyes, he is forced to go back to his abusive relatives and wallow in self pity and ptsd.

>>8348816

The sixth book pisses me off because it's literally Harry proving he's always right with everyone around him shaking their heads and muttering about how he is insane for thinking the son of one of Voldemort's inner circle would become a death eater.

The seventh book was fucking asinine, with nothing happening except more of everyone saying Harry is retarded until J.K Rowling got bored and just gave Harry the sword that will solve all their problems.

>>8348816
>Umbridge actually gets gang raped by centaurs in the story
That was just in A Very Potter Musical 2, m8

>>8348841
It's not canon, but it's pretty well implied.

>>8348867
>implying implications
Point me to the text implying anything of the kind.
As I remember it, they (probably) stomp her to death. Why on earth would they rape her?

>>8348874
For one, they carry her off, if they were going to kill her, then they would have just done it.
Two, whatever they did do was heavily traumatizing, seeing her reaction afterwards.
Three, JKR is not above referencing such things in HP, see: Aberforth "Goatfucker" Dumbledore.

And IIRC, centaurs in mythology were supposed to be pretty rape-happy, but I'm no scholar.

Really, there's no confirming either way, but it's the common interpretation, at least from what I've seen.

>>8348874
She turns up later in the hospital wing traumatized beyond belief but 'unharmed'. Earlier before they took her away the leader of the centaurs told the others to "put them with the women". In mythology centaurs represent humans debauchery and base instincts and would imprison their women and constantly rape them. So yeah if the giant didn't show up Hermione and Harry would've been brutally raped by centaurs along with Umbridge.

>>8348913
Even implying that seems to go against modern Rowling's whole tumblerina persona.
They carry her off to deal with her off-screen, so the heroes can justify not saving her.

>>8348915
>Hermione (...)would've been brutally raped by centaurs
Just like my fanfiction!

>>8348913
>Aberforth "Goatfucker" Dumbledore
Wat

>>8348915
She's "unharmed", because she wasn't hurt physically - Just threatened.
I think you're just reading your own rape fantasies into this.

>>8348937
threats cause people to go into a stupor for days/weeks?

>>8348937
Oh yeah. Dumbledore's brother is into fucking goats.
He was either arrested or expelled, I can't remember, for "practicing illegal charms on goats," his Patronus was a goat, his bar smelled heavily of goats and JKR said in a Q&A (in a "It's way more than this but there are kids present so read between the lines" way) that the aforementioned charms were just to make their horns shiny.

>>8348948
Yeah, she was already deathly afraid of them, so I assume a couple of hours surrounded by them alone in the deep forest would be pretty traumatizing.

>>8348968
she was NOT deathly afraid of them, she literally thought that they were inferior scum. this discussion has gone on long enough and you've tainted me for bringing out the inner harry potter fanboy that just cant grow up

>>8348979
Harry Potter is one of those things where you can debate it no matter how old or young you are. Although the discussion tends to go from
"Was Luna best girl?" to "Was Umbridge raped by centaurs?"

The answer to both is yes

>>8349038
luna would bite your dick off and hang it up on a wall for good fortune.

>>8349038
HP is one of few series where there is no best girl. Of all the ones that have characterization, they're all varying degrees of terrible.

>>8349053
>HP is one of few series where there is no best girl
Tonks

>>8349087
Who's only good because she can look like anyone you want her to.

Actually, you sold me. Best girl.

>>8349053
mcgonagall is by far best girl. also luna.

>>8349053
As far as i remember Luna is one of the only characters that never did anything wrong and only went along with Mr. Potters Wild Ride because she was lonely as fuck and just wanted friends.

>>8348439
Maybe she does it for free

>>8349203
I'm pretty sure it wasn't even because she was lonely, she just accidentally ended up on board.

Once Potter's Wild Ride leaves the station, there's no coming back.

I don't usually visit this board but as someone who had read all the Potter novels till now, do you guys think this new one is worth the read?

I was thinking of getting this but the script format is kind of a turn off, especially considering it is a different author.

>>8349212
I always thought she was a much better match for Harry than Ginny was.

>>8349324
Ginny basically just whored around, so yeah.

>>8349273
Depends.
Do you like fanfiction?

>>8349324
>>8349330
the fact that he basically married his mother and then had 2.5 kids has never really sat right with me

>>8349434
J.K Rowling has a fetish for parallels. Making a James and Lily 2.0 complete with their very own orphan son probably gets her off to this day.

>>8349449
never really got why people always seem to think that parallels = great literary device.

File: 1461485172452.jpg (57KB, 576x436px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 576x436px

SCORPIUS: Thank you for being my light in the darkness.
SNAPE looks at him, every inch a hero, he softly smiles.
SNAPE: Tell Albus — tell Albus Severus — I’m proud he carries my name. Now go. Go.

>>8349463
It's... like pottery.

>>8349463
Parallels done right can be pretty good, but people have to remember that the best parallel can be bad if not properly done. Sadly for J.K Rowling, she does not do parallels well.

Or properly.

>>8349478
yeah, that's exactly what i mean. when there are boring obvious bad parallels in literature and for some reason it makes it redeemable. good parallels and contrasting definitely lend poetic gravity to something. maybe im just being a rudeboi

>>8349478
Most people praise things that are hammered in as subtle though.

So by average standards it was quite a subtle book ending parallel.