Which line of prose is superior?
1
>I'm being more than kind to the guard captains here. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Order. I'm not obliged to show respect to you.
2
>A guard captain in these rain-sodden hinterlands ought not expect chivalry. We are in the employ of the Order, not of it. Our pay does not cover trite courtesies to the likes of you.
The former, because it wasn't plagiarized from the War of the Lions.
>>8333946
they both suck desu
no context no answer
The first one sounds alright but it's the sort of language a Wildean dandy would use. I don't know if that fits the character speaking.
The second one is more griseled and ye olde but it doesn't flow, you should separate mouthful words like rain-sodden and hinterlands
>>8333946
It's not just different prose, those lines have separate meanings because of the words chosen. Most important is using the words most accurate for the intended meaning.
>>8333946
They're both really bad to be honest.