What's a book you've pretended to have read when it

the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

>>8329430
None, I've read all the books.

>>8329430
my diary hahahhaha

>>8329430
Anything by John Green. I don't want to know, I just want to hate.

my diary desi

>>8329662

Having said that, I don't know if Jason Alexander is a writer

>>8329430

I work as a research mathematician, so I really never get the chance to talk about literature IRL enough to ever need to lie.

>>8329742
writing without writing

>>8329430
Nigger

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I did read it eventually though, and now it's one of my favorites.

>>8329901
What's your problem

Why can't you just say something like "Oh yeah I know what that book is but I haven't read it yet?" No one will care. I bet they'll be happy to tell you about it and why you should/shouldn't read it. Is that really so difficult? This dude who is old enough to be my dad [he's a high level neet] comes into my work all the time and we talk lit and whatnot even though we haven't read all the same stuff.

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>>8329719
>defending, in public, John Green because of being insecure
wew cuck

>>8329958
Spoken like a true beta.
When are you taking your wife's son out to ice cream next?

>>8330032
Pretending to have read a book is beta.

>>8330041
No, the only reason to pretend to read a book is to assert your dominance in the situation. Jesus, how beta do you gotta be to not get this?

>>8330052
An alpha wouldn't need to make something up to assert dominance.
>No I haven't read that book
>You actually read that book, are you a faggot?
Thus implying you have read all books worth reading. And if you haven't, well you're a fucking beta.

>>8330060
What made you this maladjusted, fampai?

>>8330060
please stop taking this bait

>>8329436
Unforgivable

>>8329430
Moby Dick~~~ I only ever read the first chapter.

>>8330074
>implying

>>8329430
The New Testament.

>>8329430
>"He told the New York Times that when he bought the novel, the saleswoman rolled her eyes. "She said, 'Infinite Jest. Every guy I've ever dated has an unread copy on his bookshelf.'"[20]"

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this
I was already reading much harder stuff by the age at which I should have read it. I think it would bore me, and I'd be too embarassed to risk being seen reading it at this age

>>8331211
Just how insecure are you?

>>8331211
>this
Its timeless whats your deal lol

>>8331211
No real loss. It is a bore, but muh dystopia wins everyone over.

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>>8331211
lmao it's true

>>8331211
100% this
i feel the same way about catcher and mockingbird.

>>8329662
looks like george costanza. which is funny since george in seinfeld is quite "the character" without ever trying.

such is the magic of coincidences

I've derided A Picture of Dorian Gray without finishing it—skipped to the end.

Anyway, I think it's bloated and inevitably vacuous, and little more than fodder for quasi-provocative Romantics who like the idea of combined decadence and dandyism.

>>8331211
>>8331535

I'm 22 and I read The Hobbit several weeks ago, then I read Faust pt. 1, then I read Les Chants de Maldoror, then I read The Gods Themselves, then I read Fathers and Sons, now I'm reading Doctor Faustus. (To say nothing of non-fiction.)

Patricians read whatever the fuck they want.

>>8331570
lol. . . aight

>>8331211
>I'd be too embarassed to risk being seen reading it at this age
Is reading a fashion statement for you or something?

>>8331631
I'm assuming that means you don't believe me? Well, good on you, because I've peppered lies into a grander truth: patricians, whatever that term actually means, justify not only everything they read—be it The Fault in Our Stars, 1984, or The Bible—but everything that they do. If I decide to read The Hobbit, which I did, then I must have a good reason to do so. Why read a children's book at twice the appropriate age? Oh, because I felt like it. Why read Goethe's masterpiece despite decrying the study of classics in most schools? Oh, because I fucking felt like it.

Tasting all 31 flavors of the rainbow: that's what based patricianism is all ab.

>>8329430
The Waste Land

>>8331762
lol. . . aight

Why would you ever do that?

>>8329719
Same. I just repeat things I've heard here. I've read extracts and seem him into interviews though and that's produces 5 awful novels worth of hateful bile in me already, so feel I'm justified.

>>8332157
I hope you live a long, happy, and fulfilling life. K, my friend? OK? Pursue your passion, find the love of your life, have a kid, have another kid, maybe have another because that last one didn't turn out so good, get a lab, not a laboratory, find a nice wholesome mistress, cash in that 401k, go to your two kids that are worth a squat's weddings, rejoice, my friend, rejoice (what's that song?).

>>8331793
it's like 10 pages and if you like other weird poetry youll like it. just read it lol

>>8329430
none because I can talk my way out of a bag

>>8331555
It's actually a stunning and provocative critique of the decadents and "art for art's sake". Beauty without soul destroys Dorian.

>>8329921
Can't you tell? It's his first post outside of /b/ or whichever newfag board he's come from.