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I'm not alcoholic, but I just realized after a month or so without real drinking that it's only when I've downed a few that I feel like I have a worthwhile mind. That I think interesting things. That subjects and people I find interesting and worthwhile appear at their best. I don't want to make a conscious decision to become some hard drinker but besides the suicidal thinking everyone goes through the most genuine disposition I have to the stuff around me is when I'm drinking, and I'd rather live like that.
I guess it's that or become a trappist.
what works deal with alcoholism, to keep this with literature and not just board culture
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What I'm asking is - am I the only one that feels like this? and don't fucking mention bukowski you hacks. Who can i read that will give feelings of genuineness.
I also want to live in a cell and pray five times a day but I'm too embarrassed of that to go for a novitiate but that probably should be another thread
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...that's just the drug deluding you. Drugs make everything better in the shallowest ways.
Just try to mature emotionally and you won't need drugs to appreciate it. What they give in pleasure they take in mindfulness.
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>>8276487
>I'm not an alcoholic
the first step is accepting you're an alcoholic OP
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