Hi /lit/, my boyfriend is a violent, ectoplasmic purificatory

Get him a pair of balls.

>>8182038
He already has a lot of balls. Like, hundreds. He's obsessed with baseball.

>having a gf

Your bf is a retard just buy whatever.

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>violent, ectoplasmic purificatory incarnation who doesn't have normal emotions.
You should probably just end yourself.

>yfw he consciously uncouples from you

which fifties?

>>8182120
Nineteen.

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>violent, ectoplasmic purificatory incarnation who doesn't have normal emotions

>>8182044
>being this heteronormative

>>8182036
>violent, ectoplasmic purificatory incarnation
Now this is painful
Work on yourself first

>>8182245
>being a fag

kys plz

>>8182252
Why does everyone have a problem with my boyfriend being a vaguely humanoid executor for an inscrutable cosmic order? He's a nice guy.

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>>8182036
>is a violent, ectoplasmic purificatory incarnation who doesn't have normal emotions
>He likes sports

Infinite Jest

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>>8182288

Nice bait, fooled a lot of people, for something so obvious.

>>8182557
I'm not baiting, I just want to get a nice book for my boyfriend :(

I will look into Infinite Jest. Its nightmarish hyperconsumerist setting would likely be of interest to him.

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>>8182598

>I just want to get a nice book for my boyfriend :(

Then try to describe him in better ways. You know, some where you don't come across as having schizoid personality disorder.

>>8182651
My descriptions seem fine, but I'll try to go into detail.

My boyfriend is distant, taciturn, and on a profound mission: the expurgation of all impurities in our world's numerous zones. He is the archnemesis of ghastly troublemakers that wreak unseen havoc everywhere, and by purifying them, he saves their souls. He never questions this, and may be unable to. I think he's somewhat misguided...

He also enjoys comic books, rollercoasters, and cool spring days. He is tall and rather well-built. Secretly, when he thinks he's alone, he can be tearful.

Anything else you want to know?

>>8182701
Are you a girl?

>>8182703
Ahaha, who knows?

Woah OP you use big words! You must be really smart and you've made a good thread, I'm glad you're posting all this on /lit/ we know good writing and you write really good!

How to write like OP?!???

Pls help !!!

>>8182707
You probably.

>>8182709
I'm writing at a 7th grade level, you pleb.

>>8182723
I don't even know what pleb means!! Will you try speaking English so I can get some tips maybe??

>>8182726
I am speaking English, and the way you're implying I'm bad at it is making me feel very attacked.

>>8182737
I'm not attacking I promise!! Seriously give me tips or recommend me some books to read!! What books do you read that make you so smart??

>>8182036
Consider sudoku.

The Natural seems like a good fit.

>>8182752
Mostly I read old classics everyone knows about: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia books, various romps by Dan Brown (a guilty pleasure)...

I don't consider myself particularly intelligent. I'm flattered if you're being sincere, which I doubt.

>>8182766
I've read those books tho and I'm not as smart wtf, seriously OP stop messing with me and recommend me some books you like that will make me smart like you! Why do you keep thinking I'm not sincere??

>>8182701
This reads like how you would describe the main character in a poorly written superhero erotic fanfiction, stiff disconnected language and all. I'm hoping this whole thread is an elaborate bait, otherwise you could legitimately be autistic.

>>8182761
It does! It's even about his favorite sport. Thanks for making a real suggestion.

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>>8182041

>>8182783
He is pretty much a superhero. He has an alternate form and everything. But where do you get the erotic angle from? Are you saying he sounds hot?

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>>8182807
>He is pretty much a superhero. He has an alternate form and everything.

Can he fly?

>>8182822
No, but he can run very quickly and jump pretty high.

>>8182109
this is easily the best wikihow advice i've ever seen

>>8182807
No, he sounds equally autistic. I'm referring to your disconnected romanticized view of him, which is similar to someone who has zero sexual experience or ability for emotional connection attempting to describe eroticism in fanfiction.

>>8182701
yr bf sounds like a fascist.

>>8182775
Hello??? OP???

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>>8182807
>He has an alternate form

>>8182842
But where does the eroticism come from? Because I said he's jacked? Jeez... I think you might be projecting a little here.

But yes. He has always had some difficulty with social situations. It's just one of many ways he is like Batman.

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>>8182828

>No, but he can run very quickly and jump pretty high.

>>8182864
>It's just one of many ways he is like Batman.


IT'S SUPERMAN!

>>8182872
Can't Superman fly?

It's the batter from OFF, isn't it?

>>8182882
He couldn't originally.

>>8182893
This took 40 replies. I'm in awe.

>>8182893
>google it
>it's vidya
Fuck everything.

>>8182893
this game intrigues me, can someone fill me in?