>Chapter starts with: >"to say x was having a bad

name 1 book that does this

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>>8030832
>thread posts start with:
>"name 1 book that does this"

>>8030852
name 2 thread that does this

>>8030962
in order for that spoiler to be justified you also needed to spoiler the conjugation

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>book starts with a provocative statement about the main character

>>8030826
>book starts with *record scratch* Yep, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got into this situation.

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>>8030826
>book starts with main characters mother being dead

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>>8031015
>he didn't mouse over

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>first chapter is the author persuading you to not read the book

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>>8030826
>book is written in past tense

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>>8031752
>book is written in future tense

>>8031769
>book is written in second person future tense
>book is actually a nigger telling you to give him your money

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>book was written before 2010

>>8031815
I'd read it.

>book starts with main characters name

>>8031736
>intro disclaimer is telling you to get professional advice instead of reading the book.

>book has chapters.

>>8031837
>book has manifested itself physically

>>8031846
>idea of book exists

>>8031835
>intro of the book is warning you not to look for morals in it

>>8031820
You gonna take that wallet out you bitch ass pocket an put it on the fuckin floor honkey

>>8030826
I'm going to start a chapter with this specifically because of this thread

>book
>it ain't me starts playing

>book has a musicality to it
>like Beethoven

>>8031698
哈哈

>book starts with:
><main character>was<performing routine task> when

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>>8030826
>Chapter starts with a description of the weather

>>8030826
>thread filled with idiots

>>8031715
Babar?

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>book consists of words

>>8032351
The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.

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>>8032456
>book doesnt have pictures

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>>8032456
>book consists of letters

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>book is written well

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>book ends with surrealistic montage

>>8032458
Neuromancer

>>8032458
the television above the port was the colour of a channel, tuned to a dead sky

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>a book set in a fantasy world is not completely written in the native language of that land

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>>8032575
>book is actually a fashion catalogue in disguise

>>8032698
>it actually is. In a grand coincidence, all the words in their language look like English words, but have completely different meanings

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>book starts with 'the' instead of 'a'

fuck only use 'the' if its an object the reader already knows about

>>8033015
but what if it happens to refer to something we do already know about, like the sun, or the ocean or the sky hmmmmm?

checkmate dingus

>>8033031
GOD

DAMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

>>8032296
Kek

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>book has a character

>believing in mental states

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>book is set in time and place

>book

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>reading

>>8030826
name 1 (one) example

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>>8033502

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>>8035208
>book isn't set in time or place

>>8033015
You're an idiot.

>>8031769
> book is written

>>8031715
agreed, ulysses is such trash

>>8032456
>>8032525
>>8032549

Who am I, Mario frickin Einstein?

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>book doesn't have a movie adaptation I can watch instead

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>>8031829

>book starts with two or more character names dropped in a single paragraph
>they're all some bullshit fantasy names

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>>8032575

I think a lot of people on /lit/ understand this feeling.

>tfw I can't write like the greats
>tfw I never will

>>8032122
Intro of the book is Stirner laughing madly in his blind alley

t. Camus

>to say x was having a bad day would be a statement

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>>8030826
>book isn't written in an ancient dead language I need to transcribe using a dictionary from that language

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>book has an ending

>>8031715
>aujourd'hui maman est morte

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>Book begins
>[Main Character Name] [verb]'d the [made-up device or object] with [adverb]

>>8036137
hahaha

>Book begins
>"My name is [x]"
>"You can call me [x]"
>"I first met [x] when..."
>"[x] and me..."

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>the first line in the book is: "Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA."

>>8032349
I can't avoid this when I write. "Anon was having an intellectual literary connection when his internet connection cut off".

On thread: character "decides" things that are not a decision:
>she decided the sound she heard downstairs was a dog barking in a tin bin
no you don't bitch you don't decide it it's outside your agency you can't decide this

and: child characters rolling their eyes at adults and calling everything stupid and then being proved right by the author.

>>8036536

Ever read Don Quijote?

>>8036539
n-no
don't shame me publicly senpai

>>8036544

It has a pretty interesting take on those kinds of decisions - and it's a marvelous and profound work of literature I'd heartily recommend to you.

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>character is a writer

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>book isnt a frozen piss block i have to taste and infer whatever the author meant

>>8032622
Burroughs/10

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>as you know

then why the fuck are you tellin gme

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>have to use hands, eyes, and brain to read book

Guys, I dont think this semen slurping hobby is for me.