You are locked in a padded cell with an author of your choice

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I pick Sadie and we'd have sex for a week straight

I pick Angela Carter and we'd have sex and write erotic fiction for a week straight.

Laurie Penny and I would just constantly harass and cajole her until she let me eat her giant fat ass.

>>7853420
Mira Gonzalez, invariably something involving the IJ bong and desecrating her body

>>7853422
>>7853424
>>7853425
>>7853427
Enjoy the akward silence. Also, you won't have sex because you're ugly.

Melville. We'd drink brandy and talk ontological heroics together, and I'd jack him off if he wanted me to. No homo.

>author
Melville.
>what do?
Squeeze, of course.

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>>7853432

>>7853425
laurie penny? whatever floats your boat, brother.

Stefan Zweig
Play chess, write novellas

>>7853420
I would want Hemingway to beat the shit out of me while I cry.

>>7853447
I hate her so much. I want her to pull my hair and make me kiss her awful cellulite thighs.

>>7853455
absolutely heretical friendo

>>7853422
>>7853427
id inseminate their buttholes

>>7853420
Sam Harris
I befriend him and make myself seem like a non threat. Then when he's lying asleep, I stop his smug face into oblivion.

I pick Homer and he narrates his epics in exchange for use of my boipussy whenever he needs it

>>7853474
*stomp

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>>7853455

yukio mishima no contest

>>7853420
It's Buddha,
and he convinces me to finally let go of the World.

>>7853479
my dick

>>7853479
>tfw no one realises that this kind of "edgy" counterculture, "I'm aggressive and in your face" image is the safest and most orthodox one can project

Philip K. Dick
We'd discuss robots and do speed.

>>7853420
This thread is cancer.

>>7853484
She'd bite on it. Just imagine her teeth digging, almost playfully but not quite, into your hard shaft while you're deep in her throat. Mad eye contact.

>>7853496
>>7853484
>>7853490
Do you think Laurie Penny has cute feet?

>>7853491
i think ur thinking of asimov

>>7853491
>168 hours describing increasingly degenerate fantasies about robot-pussy while tugging on your flaccid dicks with a hairy old man

>>7853505
Can I steal this phrase for the title of my post-singularity Bildungsroman?

>>7853507
Go for it.

>>7853493
you are a poopyhead

Thomas Pynchon. Drugs, conspiracy theories, limericks- should be fun

>Franz Kafka
>attempt to leave
>file my taxes

>>7853420

DFW
I let him talk and try to be supportive and reasonably intelligent company for him, and we would turn the cell into a slow-motion racquetball court and study the mathematics of it.

>yfw meme trilogy guys would be the only fun ones to spend a week like this with

>>7853477

Stop it.

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>what things do you do together.

Poetry, lies, full contact performance art -- morning, noon, and midnight; cross dressing, chase butterflies, tennis, more lies, and starting that perfect novel only to tear it up halfway through to begin again without all the poetic pretension.

>>7853420
sasha gray

talk about existentialist, from dostoevky to sartre.

>>7853830
best answer yet

>>7853475
what if he only sings it while going at it?

Philip K Dick

I'd listen to him theorize about how we got here and what's going on with our false reality run by a supercomputer

I pick Sylvia Plath and let her commit suicide by choking on my limp dick

>>7853830
how are you going to do that in a padded cell with just you and him though?

Hack Green, beat him up and slowly kill him, would be fun desu.

>>7853479
would hate fuck

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all these lewd answers

whats with the spike of testosterone lately?

I might have to step outside

>>7854162
Literati are the sex monster of 4chan

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Id pick Pynchon and we'd have sex for a week straight

>>7854121

Don't you worry how. When it's over and done we'll have it all written down, with but few details, and facts, and ought else left over to the full range of the imagination.

>>7853474
hey mister b nice

>>7854162
i wish i could be made into a human centipede with you in front

>>7853420
I'd pick Stephanie Meyer so I could tell at her for a week.

>>7853443

i jej'd

>>7854162
>lewd
didn't you notice that it's spring?

Burroughs
let him ass rape me and snap my neck

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Zizek because I'm super anti social and couldn't keep up a conversation for more than 5 minutes, but Zizek could probably spend the entire week just talking about all the ideology in my shoes, so we'd be good.

Can't believe anyone hasn't said Elliot Rodger yet. I'd discuss about his mental state.

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edgar allan poe

i'd tell him 4chan memes

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Trigger his autism. Be over-the-top ironic.

>>7854162
Well think about it, if you're stuck in a room with one person for a week straight, fucking would make the time pass a lot faster than just talking or whatever.

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Dr Helen Smith PhD
Hnnnnnng

We fuck a lot, and in between discuss her writings And research while smoking weed, and her sexual fantasies, then fuck again.

Rinse & repeat, and it just goes on...and it just goes on..

Saint Paul. I'd read the bible with him for a week, and hear his perspective on everything

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A week with Mira would be a roller coaster of different ups and downs. Plus she probably has a bag of cannabis in her socks which would pass the time

>>7854586
hed probably hang himself the first night with his belt while you sleep

pynchon so i can pitch my "21st century's gravity's rainbow" to him.

it's about a man whose 4chan posts are ALWAYS dubs, and as a result hes pursued by a variety of crazy organizations across north and south america. theres also a mysterious malware program said to be capable of destroying the internet itself, lots of weird sex, etc.

>>7855791

Holy shit that's a depressing thought.

>DFW wakes up in the cell brought back to life
>Oh god, why have I been awakened from the bliss of nothingness and who the hell is this faggot?
>this must be hell
>only one thing left to do

>>7855850
>>only one thing left to do
R
A
P
E

I don't know who the author is but I'm murdering them and painting the walls with their innards. Already been in a psych ward once. If I'm being in a padded cell without drugs, I'm wreaking havoc.

>>7853452
just like daddy

Fitzgerald

Get wasted and smugly talk down poor people.

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Marx

>>7856323
>collective, equal mediocrity
>select few achieve excellence while bottom rungs exist

what a conundrum

Richard Yates.

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Donna Tartt.
Let her peg me and lick her feet.

>>7855817
Would read

>>7853420
trump
i kill him slowly

>>7856909
ha! what an original and witty political commentary anon!

the white house is about to feel the bern :^)

>>7853420
>You are locked in a padded cell with an author of your choice for a week
>Who is it
Proust

>what things do you do together
each other's hair, raep, just girl things

>>7856909
>implying Trump couldn't kill you bare handed
heres you're (Ewe)

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We'd have some long nights, if you catch my drift.

>>7856579
God, yes. I want to be dominated by Donna Tartt so badly. Can someone let her publicist know that I'm available?

Tacitus

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>>7853479
GIRUGAMESH

>>7857263
>implying he could even kill a fly with his little baby hands

rimbaud

i would wreck that boipussi

>>7855866
That's the spirit.

Harold Bloom. Could discuss the Western Canon for a while. I'd eventually kill and eat the fat prick.

I'd pick Tao Lin. He seems like a creative and imaginative guy, I wouldn't be bored in a closed room with him.

>>7857959
This

>>7853420
Michel Foucault

:)

Anne Frank

;);))