can you take a look at this story im writing? its very much

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Anonymous
2016-01-16 09:18:52 Post No. 7592154
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Anonymous 2016-01-16 09:18:52 Post No. 7592154 [Report]

can you take a look at this story im writing? its very much in early development. (>500 words)

https://www.wattpad.com/208684681-the-tragedy-of-neon-chapter-one

Anonymous 2016-01-16 09:31:01 Post No.7592169
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Anonymous 2016-01-16 09:31:01 Post No.7592169 [Report]

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>>7592154
This is what I was seeing.

Anonymous 2016-01-16 09:42:47 Post No.7592185
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Anonymous 2016-01-16 09:42:47 Post No.7592185 [Report]

>>7592154
I couldn't read beyond the login wall but your prose is very uneven. First you adopt an academic tone which doesn't suit the story using words like: perhaps, assure, chatted, platonic, etc. Then you loosen up and write in a more natural, conversational tone. Compare the narrator's speech to the first paragraph.

Anonymous 2016-01-16 09:42:55 Post No.7592186
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Anonymous 2016-01-16 09:42:55 Post No.7592186 [Report]

>>7592154
>I pulled one out

can you take a look at this story im writing? its very much

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible. Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/