ITT: Ways to tell a book isn't worth reading >The main

>>10023099
its not written by white man :)D

>"he woke up"
>cover explains this is the first installment in an exciting new series

>#1 new york best-seller

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>>10023099

>Described as "like a song of ice and fire"

>Sentences sound like a slapchop. Reaches full stop constantly. Five words and then period.

>He walked into the room. He was wearing a blue silk shirt with the top two buttons undone, tucked into the waist of black, pleated pants. He had on a brown belt with a golden buckle that shone in the midday sun. He had on a pair of size 11 1/2 boat shoes with the laces on the left shoe slightly undone and on his right, they were completely loose. On his head sat a 7.4 by 5.6 by 4.5 inch hat at a 47 degree angle. The hat was made of black felt and had a grey band around it. It had 40 specs of dust on the front, 10 on the back and a stray cat hair hanging from the rim.

>Author's name on the cover is significantly larger than the title.

>>10023135
>>He walked into the room. He was wearing a blue silk shirt with the top two buttons undone, tucked into the waist of black, pleated pants. He had on a brown belt with a golden buckle that shone in the midday sun. He had on a pair of size 11 1/2 boat shoes with the laces on the left shoe slightly undone and on his right, they were completely loose. On his head sat a 7.4 by 5.6 by 4.5 inch hat at a 47 degree angle. The hat was made of black felt and had a grey band around it. It had 40 specs of dust on the front, 10 on the back and a stray cat hair hanging from the rim.

I thought only fan fiction writers wrote like this.

>the author committed suicide

>"Girl" in the title

>>10023274
The Girl with the Faggot Tattoo

>>10023274
Diary of a Young Girl

>>10023377
>>10023422
I'm redpilled, idiots. I'm against women. Or as me and my friends call them: womemes (because their inferior)

>>10023099
When he wakes up hes gonna get a surprise lol

I see someone in public reading it

Books where everything that is not speech, is an action of a character.

>>10023436
I use sarcasm enough to know this is satire.

Name one (1) even average book with "girl" in the title, go ahead, I'll wait.

>>10023447
that's right, plays fucking suck

Sophocles? more like Shit phor testicles

>>10023099
sir you cant sleep here, this is a library

>>10023461
There are none, because all books about inferior creatures like that aren't worth the paper they're written on.
Try this: Name one half-way interesting woman to have ever lived. There are none

>>10023484
your mom was pretty interesting last night

>>10023169
A Song of Ice and Fire is written like this

>/lit/ approved

>>10023099
>The main character is a detective, cop or a writer
That's why you read classics only.
>>10023422
Was that title chosen by Anne Frank?
>>10023484
Virginia Woolf. Drowned herself by filling her overcoat pockets with stones and walking into the River Ouse near her home.

>>10023099
>Its fiction

>>10023099
>written by a woman
>written about current temporal events

>>10023484
Off the top of my head: Joan of Arc.

>it's made of paper

If it has a ridiculously good looking guy or girl posing "romantically" or "seductively" then I'm in the wrong section.

>>10023484
>>10023481
>>10023467
>>10023439
>>10023436
What is this reddit shit?

>text flying away at an angle

>there aren't any pictures

>>10023099

What about Nausea? In Naked Lunch the character is essentially all three.

>>10023516
Bringo!

Can't fucking tell how many fucking times that fat, santa-claus looking piece of shit Martin describes every fucking atom of a character's appearance. Goddamn fucking "boiled leather". I bet that sentient tub of bacon grease and ass sweat has a button on his keyboard dedicated to the phrase "boiled leather". I don't give a flying fuck what some secondary character decided to use as a tampon that day. It doesn't add anything.

If anything it made reading those books a brisk experience, since whenever a paragraph started off with someone entering a room you could just skip the whole thing and not miss out on any important details.

What a fucking hack. Him and Stephen King should 69 each other until they are forgotten.

>>10023099
font size and margins

>>10024268
fiction is just a matter of degree

>>10023135
>Five words and then period.
Sounds like James Ellroy

>fiction that wasn't influential on society and is therefore nothing more than a mediocre wall of text.

>>10023102
Unironically this.

>it's fiction

>>10023102

Not necessarily. There's no "muh white man is over represented" bullshit in my country. As a result, no one is published based on his or her identity, it's the literature that matters. Plenty of contemporary women poets are published here, and they're pretty good. They're not lost among the endless stream of hacks.

>main character is a young teen in a post apocalyptic society that is different than everyone else

>>10024410
Tolkien does the same when describing environments

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>>10023132
Underrated.

Hey fuck you man detective fiction is great

>>10024579
5 words is a long sentence for Ellroy. He is objectively the best living fiction writer, btw

>>10025459

shit it that common a trope already? most popular names?