Ok I really wanna bf but I have to have a knife on me where I

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Assuming you are white, you aren't any more likely to be targeted because you have a bf. They just think you're an easy target because you're in the wrong neighborhood. A gun and good spatial awareness so you can avoid situations where you would have to use said gun are the best self defense tools you can have

Also remember to obey the law regarding firearms in your state and practice with your firearm of choice regularly in order to minimize risk to yourself and maximize your effective stopping power
The bullets don't work if they miss