Who on /lgbt/ was abused as a child? I'm not asking for

>>8845160

I am a straight cis man and I was sexually and physically abused as a child

mtf and choked and jumped on by brother and mom would sometimes make it feel like my neck was badly injured

stuff happened outside home too and idk it was pretty messed up i was like 4-5 you probably get the deal

Gay male.

Sexually abused by older men. 28 never had a relationship etc. I’m so alone. Hate being touched.

Beaten by alcoholic father at home then again by classmates at school. Also stupid roasties mocked me all the time.
All changed when my father finally died. My life is like a dream since then, it was like my birthday present, some trucker ran him over week before I hit 14. Best gift ever ;3 I could live without fear, I learned pretty much instantly how to stand up to bullies. I wasn't afraid of anyone since then, really helped me in social contacts.
I still consider myself damaged and people who are close to me say I'm creepy sometimes. They often say my eyes seem lifeless, doll-like. But hey, at least I got some close friends and my spaghetti doesn't spill. I singed up for box classes to fix anger issues and it works as long as I'm taking those classes. As much as I hate to admit, beating people up feels fucking good.

>>8845160
Straight MtF. Yes. By my dad's second wife, her children, his best friend, their children, and a few freefloating entities I can't seem to place anywhere. People I know by name and all, but no way of remembering HOW I know them or ultimately much about them outside their name and some stark memories.

Still am in my sleep

So while a lot of LGBT people were abused not everyone abused turns out to be LGBT. My friend's dad was a pedo and he had sex with 4 of us that I know of but I am the only one who turned out gay.

>>8847837
>By my dad's second wife, her children, his best friend, their children,
What did they do?

>>8845175
but u browse the gay board for *reasons*

File: a pup.jpg (44KB, 418x398px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 418x398px

>>8845160

I accidentally molested a 20 year old man when I was six. I felt bad years later because I corrupted him. You cant play with a horny young mans boner in the middle of the night and expect him to control himself. Now he probably thinks hes a child molester and will never know I still get off remembering him. Its kind of hard not to get off on remembering a cock as big as your arm where the head is so big it cant fit in your mouth.

>>8845160
When I was really young I would get beat and ignored by my caretakers. I don't remember most of it, just coming home with a bunch of bruises all over me. My mom got in trouble for it even though she didn't do anything. I also got bullied a lot throughout my whole life and didn't have many friends. It's a pretty average sob story, sorry to disappoint. I'm just glad I didn't have it worse.

I guess one thing that does bother me about my childhood is that when I was an infant my grandma left me at home all day and I had a stroke. My mom didn't take me to the hospital or anything and I got a little fucked up from it. I got neurological issues and it's hard to think and work through problems.

>>8848480
>play with a horny young mans boner...expect him to control himself
What? Did he hurt you?

>>8845175
Is this literal proof that abuse turns people gay?

File: 1495669871167s.jpg (8KB, 238x250px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 238x250px

>>8848558
but he's straight

>>8845160
bi cis male
sexually abused by the friend of a neighbor kid's parents, and by a babysitter.
emotionally/psychologically abused by my parents is arguable.
bullied a lot as a younger kid.
i'm scopophobic and gynephobic along with a hidden anger issue, and i'm pure dom as an adult. being put in a compromising position, be it socially or physically, is legitimately
>triggering

nope

yes, not sexually

yes. my abuse was physical but that didn't hurt as much as it did to be hit for smiling and being happy or not being allowed to sleep, eat, laugh, or speak.

straightish "girl"

>>8849620
>being put in a compromising position

do you mean vulnerable position?

because i'm completely on ya there.

>>8850025
both? part of my abuse was humiliation in addition to the physical aspects, so i fear both being forced into physical submission and having my private information/pictures/etc leaked.

>>8850088
weirdly specific..

>>8848358

fappin to /lesgen/

yep. im a queer guy in my mid-20s, my mother became very emotionally abusive when i was in my early teens, rarely physical but occasional hitting did happen. mostly yelling/demeaning/terrorizing me and my two younger sisters. i know my orientation doesnt have anything to do with my trauma because i was one of those kids that got mocked for being gay before i even knew what gay was, and that was long before my mothers mental health really deteriorated.

however, in the past few years ive become gender-questioning, and have been expressing more feminine in my appearance which makes me feel more comfortable. transitioning seems unlikely for me and i dont feel the need to, but because of my "mommy issues" im self-conscious about people who know my family history seeing me wear earrings and makeup, femme clothes, etc. in the firend circles im out in, i dont talk about my mother. i hate the freudian bullshit that people assume, that somehow i feel the need to be a woman because i lost my mom. at the same time, i often wonder if theres some subconscious truth to that. this feels like transphobic garbage tho.

however, i cant help but notice a trend amongst my lgbt friends that almost every FtM has a history of bad relationship with their father, and most MtFs have similar mommy issues to my own. am i alone in this? wtf is up with that, folks

>>8851123
>i cant help but notice a trend amongst my lgbt friends that almost every FtM has a history of bad relationship with their father, and most MtFs have similar mommy issues to my own. am i alone in this? wtf is up with that, folks
mtf with absent father reporting in

>>8851148
same

dad died when i was 8

but mom was abusive too tho

t. >>8845195

>>8851312
why are you on this board

>>8851123
>>8851148
Your theory would work, but I'm an mtf with an abusive father and a passive mother. She was essentially absent because she never stepped in.

File: 1465778015161.jpg (134KB, 372x327px) Image search: [Google]

134KB, 372x327px

Sexually? Absolutely no. Verbally? Not until high school. Well, I'm a ginger so I got the usual ginger insults people throw at people like me growing up and stuff.

4chan is not the right place to ask for this, most people here have fucked up relationship with their parents and such.

>>8851401
not trying for a theory, just talking about my immediate IRL friends. i fear any kid of theorizing about these trends is gonna turn into BS about our need to out-perform our parents (say along the lines of being a kind mother instead of a cruel one or transitioning male to be your own father cos u didnt have one to begin with etc) is gonna end up as some pseudo-scientific redpilly garbage that could easily be used against the trans community. there are already bigots who think that every gay man is such because he was touched by a priest. no need for more of that.

>>8851464
redhead gay here, the hair colour bullying thing was so weird. im in canada, always got the impression the ginger bullying was worse in the UK altho south park did their share to bring it to america. i remember "kick a ginger day" gaining popularity just as i was finishing high school. im tall and muscular though, and was fairly well-liked/popular in high school so i didnt get kicked. can imagine it was very bad for others though.
dont wanna derail the thread but what was the extent of it in your experience? would you really go so far as to qualify it as abuse, in the more severe sense of the word? did it leave you with lasting insecurities? i found it was exclusively males who would pick on that, women have always complimented my hair colour and been jealous of it.

File: DIkR9BKVYAAb2Ta.jpg large.jpg (94KB, 640x800px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 640x800px

>>8851493
Abuse? Na.

I mean, it was annoying, It may have made me cry a few times, but it's not worse than having sticky-out ears or being overweight. Kids will pick on anyone different that sticks out. It's the kind of things that annoying you as a kid, but once you grow up it doesn't fazes me much when they call me a red-head or stuff.

It did leave me a bit of a complex yeah, especially when meeting strangers or potential boyfriends/sex-buddies, but surprisingly enough it hasn't affected my adult life ever, now that I think about it.

>>8845160
Im a gay male and i was never abused as a child i just always had crushes on other boys even in kindergarten it was always like that

My first gf was abused by her father for years
Since then, I date guys because I kinda fear that I'd hurt women or wouldn't be able to help them if I fuck/date them.
or maybe I'm bi and it's not related.

>>8848552

No, not at all. I had a very verbally abusive and hostile, violent step mother though.

The 20 year old man just face fucked me. I just thought he was being silly and something odd that interested adults. It was new, so it was interesting. I didnt have any sexual feelings from it, even remembering it in adolescence.

It was sort of funny because he came in my mouth and I swallowed it all. For two or three reasons:

One, his cock was filling my mouth so much that if I didn't I would've literally drowned from cum

Two, I figured if I tried to spit it out, I'd make a mess and was a little fussy about messes

Three, I thought he accidentally peed himself and didnt want to embarass him by making it obvious, and had no concept of germs since I thought it was pee.

Even stranger, I really dont think it contributed much to me liking guys other than having the experience and knowing that it wasnt a horrible thing like most straights believe. So when I did become sexually interested, it was with girls. That I would start thinking about guys at all wasnt even associated because I didnt remember it sexually. The only thing that and another similar series of events did was prevent the idea that it was a terrible option because I had already did it and didnt experience any negativity from it.

I have a pretty good grasp on why I like males, and its developmental psychologically. It wasnt like 'sexuality' was installed in me from some experiences. I was smaller as a child and had to learn to navigate in a passive way, and had negative experiences with females and the hetero lifestyle generally as interpreted from family.

I dont really believe that people *are* heterosexual or homosexual, except as internalized habit and self image. The mind is always capable of malleability. That we invent a term like heterosexuality, I think, seems to simply be a matter of disciplining males from abstinence from homosexual thoughts, feelings, behavior & perhaps most, conscious values

>>8852006
Dude that's fucked up, you should talk about it to a psychologist.

>>8845160
>Who on /lgbt/ was abused as a child?
>4chan
>Abused

Pick two.

>>8852058

Why? It doesnt bother me.

I think a lot of trauma from such experiences comes from informing adults who are then forced to amplify its actual significance, complete with strangers asking intrusive questions, the overwhelming feeling that something bad has happened and parents treating you like damaged goods.

I didnt have to deal with any of that. The next day I shrugged it off. Had I not learned that it was considered an atypical experience, I doubt I would even remember it.

It wasnt like ongoing abuse. It was completely random.

>>8852006

that is wrong but it gave me a boner..

>>8848480
i wish i was that guy

>>8845160
Abuse no, but I grew up on a sail boat and have almost died in a few storms in one we had to abandon ship luckily a shrimp boat was there to help us out. I was only 10 or 11 when that happened and it has always fucked with me.

>>8853248
>>8853267
Kill yourself or ask for the nearer person to kill you as quick as possible. You're sentient garbage and you'll burn.

>>8853278

Im glad you survived.That sounds like a scary experience

>>8853248
>>8853267

lel

Its funny in a screwed up way cuz I thought he was just being a dork and just played along basically making it obvious that I thought it was boring, sort of eye-rolling a lot of the time. I guess I should explain.

I was laying next to him and it was spring, so I was just wearing my shirt and shorts, and since he was ready for bed, he was just wearing briefs. He was supposed to be watching me while my parents played cards with his parents.

Since I was so much shorter and we were sharing the pillow, when I pulled up my leg to scratch it and slid it back down, it accidentally went down his briefs. I thought 'woops' and pulled it back out and he didnt seem to notice. When I did, my foot hit something rock hard and I had no idea what it was and thought maybe he was deformed or something. Since he didnt seem to notice, I thought it was because I was so much smaller, like you dont necessarily feel a bug crawling on you.

So I reached back down and he still didnt react and started feeling. First I notice a lot of fur which made me really curious. Then I kept feeling his shaft and was really curious when I got to the top because it was big and perfectly smooth, so I kept feeling it trying to figure out what the heck it was. The poor man must've thought I was a corrupt little demon.

So when he cant take it anymore and I saw it was just a big pecker, I was actually disappointed, thinking it might be guinea pig or something furry he was hiding. I almost immediately lost interest, and thought he was being silly because he suddenly seemed so serious about nothing of interest.

So I just let him do his thing to play along, figuring it was at least entertaining him and he seemed to really like it despite being so serious.

I noticed he tried to avoid me after that. Years later when I realized why, I felt sort of bad about it, since I understood how he must've felt.

:P

>>8853267
>i wish i was that guy

Why?
So that your cock would be as big as a 6 year-old's arm?

>>8853466

fuck you dude.. you just wrecked my no fap.. god

>>8853475
no wtf?

>>8853475

and why? im 20 myself and on the bigger side and it just got me hard as fuck and horny.. it sounds kinda fucked up i know

>>8853466
>it accidentally went down his briefs!

gurr please
that did NOT happen

just blew my load everywhere lol i was doing so good on no fap :(

File: trying.gif (910KB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

910KB, 400x225px

>>8853598
That's nice, honey.
Now clean up your room before dinner!
We're having Spaghetti-Os!

>>8847728
this reminds me of a friend i once had, she claimed to be "asexual" but i had a feeling it was something to do with abuse that she never told me about

File: Bunny.jpg (59KB, 550x404px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 550x404px

>>8853589

Well, it did. I was laying right next to him with no shoes on and skinny legs, so my foot was right about where his stuff was.

I do wonder if he was hard because I was laying right against him or if it happened when my foot slipped down, cuz it was already hard when my foot hit it. But I didnt feel it until I pulled my leg out, maybe because of the angle. When I realized it had slipped in, I sort of froze from embarrassment for a minute, maybe thats when he got hard.

>>8853650

how am i trying hard ? fuck you and your stories faggot and for luring me in and ruining my no fap, little snake in the grass

File: 1334700123192.jpg (34KB, 600x398px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 600x398px

>>8853502

I know, it sort of screwed up because I know I shouldn't think of it that way, but it is what it is. I never told anyone IRL cuz I know it would freak people out, and the fact that I never felt any negativity from it could be misinterpreted as condoning it.

It just happened. I dont blame him though. All he did was lay in his own bed watching tv when some dim witted kid started behaving the same way some creep would. I figure he probably thought I had been chestered already and that I actually knew what I was doing.

That he couldn't take it anymore and misinterpreted my motivations isnt something I blame him for. He was only 20, maybe only 19. Its in the range where you might hold someone responsible as an adult but up to a certain age, its just unreasonable to think it would be so easy for a male to be able to control himself. Im not saying males shouldn't try to control themselves, but biologically, I know its really difficult. Its not like he hurt me, or came on to me or intended it to happen. Sexual excitement is a legitimate mental and emotional disruptor for a young male not terribly different than a drug. He was a totally decent guy. He just couldnt help it and misinterpreted my curiosity.

Its no biggie, really.

The paper boy, on the other hand...lel...

>>8853738

as i said you made it sound hot as fuck to think about but at the end of the day in reality if that was me i would have been a man and not got sexual with a little innocent boy. that is no excuse for him.

it wasnt your fault and you cant blame yourself. im getting the fuck off here now

File: Mommy Cat Hugs Baby Kitten.gif (2MB, 339x277px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 339x277px

>>8848537

Im sorry that happened. I was verbally/emotionally abused a lot and got roughed up a lot, but not beat on a regular basis.

I did have one grandmother who was batshit crazy and threw me head first into a coffee table when I was about 4 or 5 and I had to go to the hospital. I wish they'd have arrested the old bat.

I hope your symptoms improve. I am glad you survived at all and seem to be recuperating, if I understand correctly.

File: tumblr_lmhgk0RIKf1qgu3ato1_400.jpg (85KB, 500x727px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 500x727px

>>8851493

I never understood the whole 'ginger' bullying thing. When I was a kid, no one thought anything of people with red hair as a target for it. I could never tell if it was those weirdos that made that South Park episode that made it a trend or what. Id never heard of it till then.

I always thought red hair was attractive.

File: 1229589763285.jpg (32KB, 500x480px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 500x480px

>>8853786

Well, I dont blame either of us. I was just a dumb kid and he just had more than he could take, is all.

Like I said, its not like there was any damage. Yeah, he made a mistake, but its not like he is made of stone. We both just sort of got dumb. I dont think you lose man points for being a human and making a mistake. He was probably as confused as I was.

File: ahah.gif (494KB, 500x204px) Image search: [Google]

494KB, 500x204px

>>8853856
You've never heard the phrase
"Uglier than a red-headed step-child"?

Redheads have been the butt of jokes for a long time, because of their freckles and because many of them are hideous.
Some are gorgeous, though, I have to admit, but they are rare.

File: 655564335cak005.jpg (315KB, 700x931px) Image search: [Google]

315KB, 700x931px

>>8853937

No, but I did hear 'beat like a red headed step child'.

Maybe because I grew up where there were so many.

I could be mistaken, but when I hear this now, I get the impression that people try to propagate an association between someone who is unattractive with red hair as meaning all people with red hair as unattractive, as if it is the hair and freckles themselves that are the reason.

Bi guy on hrt (possibly trans). I was bullied a lot in general for being shy and weird, especially by other boys. Guys used to lift up my shirt in gym class and touch me in uncomfortable ways. I hated it.

Later, a schoolmate of mine made me suck his cock behind a tree on the schoolyard and threatened to tell everyone I was a fag if I didn't keep quiet.

My first long term cis gf gaslit me and emotionally manipulated me into PiV constantly even though I explicitly said I wasn't comfortable with it.

My current partner, who is a bi femboy, is the first truly healthy sex relationship I've had in all my 25 years.

File: 299810037_0c3e3109f5.jpg (111KB, 379x500px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 379x500px

>>8853995

>My current partner, who is a bi femboy, is the first truly healthy sex relationship I've had in all my 25 years

Well, thats good to hear. Congratulations. A lot of people dont even get that far.

I was sexually abused by two people (on separate occasions) who I thought were my best friends at the time. My cousin who was a teenager at the time, and my friend. I was 6 or 7 at the time. I try to get over it, but I wish I never have to see those people again

Emotionally abused by 'friends' and my dad. I barely trust anyone these days

>>8853880

You're real fucked up alright. You DO lose man points if you are a grown man abusing a child. That's not a man. He had the ability to know what he was doing was absolutely illegal and wrong, you did not. And you WERE trying to insinuate it was the your (the child's) fault.

Stop defending a worthless pedophile who should be shot on sight.

My parents would shout and fight over trivial nonsense regularly. While it was never directed at me, the hostile enviornment wasn't healthy to grow up in.

And then I was bullied all throughout middle school. Being shy and unhealthily skinny meant I was an easy target.

>>8845160
no lol

>>8845160
no

File: nosee.gif (3MB, 893x548px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 893x548px

mtf
Never got abused but I mean my mom and dad got into shouting matches (he threatened to kill her at one point and she slept with a bat in case he broke in that night) and my brother and father did too and it all made me just sorta hide because I never wanted to be in the middle of that, made me ultra scared of loud noises and anger
Also tried to do everything to please my father because I didn't want him to ever get angry at me. But he's an ultra conservative so he'll definitely hate me for being a tranny so it made me want to kms for years
Maybe that's emotional abuse but idk

File: incredulous.gif (4MB, 400x224px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 400x224px

>>8848480
>>8852006
>>8852217
>>8853466
>>8853671
>>8853738
>>8853880

>trying to justify pedophilia

gay ftm
>dad (primary caretaker) choked sister, threatened and hurt me
>horrible divorce with physical fights
>heard mom being raped and beaten by dad, repressed the memory completely
>abandoned by dad shortly thereafter
>really weird emotional abuse from mom (either molesty or really angry)
>hit, made fun of, and felt up by bullies in middle school
>groomed by some 11-years-older guy from 11-17 who I thought I'd marry

and that's only 'til 18!

>>8853712
You'll burn in Hell.
Feels good to know.

>>8854602
>really weird emotional abuse from mom (either molesty or really angry)
?

>>8854404
same

seriously i felt like i had to run away sometimes like

sometimes i put my clothes on in case i had to run and at some points i had 911 dialed ready

i mean i was never beat up either really? i mean one of my brothers (all of whom called me stupid weird and that ill die before im 30 or be in a wheelchair) used to jump on me for me the smallest thing and choke me idk like once when i was 9-10 i just sent him some messages on steam without telling him who i was and he just came to me and grabbed me by the neck and squeezed really hard like i felt like i was passing out but it didnt happen often.

>>8854344

Right. So if I was emotionally busted up, shamed in development and a basket case that agreed with you, then that would be a healthy reaction to some dick play. See, this is why living the experience is more credible than hearing distant judgments about it as a frame of reference.

Im convinced there are women trolling me, or perhaps emasculated men. I can know the experience was morally wrong on his part and I dont call for the death of a frustrated 20 year old who thought I was coming on to him, then that must be condoning it because I, the "victim" dont hold a sense of moral panic and shame.

the fuck out of here with that nu-male shit. This is how sex crimes work, they bring out the chance for people with the lowest standards to pound away a case for their moral supremacy on a soapbox without a mote of effort besides not getting laid, and treat it as a virtue

Let me tell you something. I ve been around enough to know that it is perfectly normal and healthy for people to make statements against child abuse.

But when they linger on the point, when there is just a little too much passion or interest on the topic, something isnt right. You people have often said the most vocal homophobes are homosexual. You might wanna consider that before dedicating a dogpile of morality posts with strawmen trying to shame someone online for NOT being scarred by a case of inappropriate sexual activity.

Otherwise, I only know of one other creature that is that prone to abandon reason, context and rationality in order to make a dick a crime.

The modern feminist, and I want no part of it.

no my parents were the absolute best and I had a great childhood

t. straight MtF

Raised by a single mom who was bipolar who verbally and emotionally abused me. She married a man who's shouting matches made me fear for my life.

Never physical abuse, though, so I lucked out there.

Bi MtF.

>>8855555
She alternated between screaming at me about how we all wished her dead and didn't appreciate that she was the only thing between us and homelessness, and breaking into my drawers to read my journals and look at my sex toys, pressuring to get me to sleep in bed with her (at 17+), and telling me she thought about us while she had sex

>>8851123
>queer
>gender-questioning
>transphobic garbage
goddamit

the subconcious doesnt really work that way, its very complex but having a bad relationship with your parents wont make you gay or trans or whatever. dont worry about it, no experience alone can make you question your gender
with loving parents you may the same person, and possibly less conflicted about the issue
I suggest you forget about your mom and just do you, and also stop using tumblr-speak on 4chan. its legitimately triggering

>>8857523
>pressuring to get me to sleep in bed with her (at 17+), and
I shared a bed with my mom until a least 16. No pressuring though.

>>8855673

Uhh well I am an 18 year old grown ass straight man and I agree with what they said. Not a feminist or emasculated man. And no that's not just some normal dick play you sick fuck, you're wrong. That shit ain't no joke and it's abuse when a 6 year old is involved with an adult. I don't think you can have enough passion against child abuse. You're obviously a condoner of it. You sit here and try and stand up for pedophile. I guess it makes you feel better just to brush it off as just some 'dick play'. Honestly, go fuck yourself. What if your future child get abused? let's see your opinion then! My sister was abused around that age. People like you make me sick.

>>8851148
you need 2 bad parents to fuck a child up
the trend you are noticing is that dysphoric kids who had shitty parents, had shitty parents

>>8857995
Yeah, I know for some people that would be normal. You'd kinda have to be there. I was like 22 home from college and she was telling me I was always "making it weird" when all she wanted to do was kiss me on the mouth or sleep in the same bed. I'd tell her I wasn't trying to make it weird but I didn't feel like doing either of those things and she'd pout and say lots of people my age did xyz without it being a Whole Thing, then try again later

it's gross dude. and she never wanted to allow me any privacy at all

>>8858115
No kissing on the mouth at any age for me.

>>8855673
Also you made another point that was absolutely retarded. You said he thought you were coming on to him, basically justifying what he did. Well I am 18 and if a motherfucking 6 year old comes on to me, I'm not gonna respond sexually. Fuck you. You need your ass beat

>>8855673
your answer is all over the place. Maybe do some soul searching about what happened and come back with the real story, which is that a guy raped you when you were 6. If you don't feel broken about that experience, that's good for you. But defending that guy because he was "so fucking horny" and blaming yourself because "you send him the wrong signals" are actual tactics that trauma patients use to cope with what has happened.
I hope you'll someday be at peace and stop defending pedophiles.

Yes. Mtf. Had a grandpappy who would crawl in bad with me at night, from time I was 4 to 7. Never told my mother who was his daughter but I have a feeling it happened to her too. Told my older brother and he didn't believe me and laughed at me.

>>8848480
I know it may be hard to believe, but I promise, it was not your fault. You were a child and didn't know any better; He was an adult and sure as hell knew better than that. You were taken advantage of by someone who you trusted. It hurts, it stings, but just know, he was the one in the wrong.

>>8853880
>dat poor doggo dont know what he chewing on

REEEEEE who would do such a sick fuck thing

>>8858115
>Yeah, I know for some people that would be normal

NO no it really wouldn't jfc I have not slep in my mother's bed since I was fucking five

>>8855673
That you're able to forgive him is a phenomenal and a step in the right direction and towards healing. However, I feel as if you're making light of the situation, as if that man didn't do you wrong. If that's what helps you cope for now, that's completely okay; Though I hope that one day you will be able to acknowledge that what he did is reprehensible. Imagine if someone did that to a loved one, a SO, a younger sibling, a son; Would you still take the same stance on it?

>>8859088
>>8855673

It's extremely common to rationalize child molestation as
>it was *my* fault
>I was asking for it
>he didn't really hurt me
etc.

JUST fyi

By my kindergarten teacher

>>8853671
He shouldn't have let you do any of that shit, ykr?

Reading trhoough this thread you can't help noticing the pattern.
Some kind of fucked up stuff has happened to all of you. You might have the predisposition in your genes, but still itt seems like that alone wouldn't have been enough for you to turn out like this.

>>8855673
Jesus Christ dude, just stop. You are Stockholm syndrome personified.

I wasn't really abused but few times in elementary school two strongers guys grabed my balls and dick.

>>8859734
You probably need to ask this on a site that is not fucking 4chan.

I was never sexually abused and I was always gay. The moment gay that weren't abused exist, cause and effect disappear.

Bi Ftm,pre-testosterone forever bc my body is shit i guess.
Lmao was expected to die a few years after i was born and that was drilled into my head for a while. I'm also retarded from birth complications so always bullied for being a slow piece of shit.
Grandmother i was close to died when i was five,
Parents are shit,moms a stoner and not that bad as dad is a methhead who tried to kill me for being molested in middle school,bc he didn't believe it wasn't my fault. He stalked me on all my devices and irl which was shitty too.
He genuinely ruined my life
Now he tries to convince me he's not a piece of shit,to use me to get his fix.

I posted in a different thread that I think may have inspired this one.

Yeah, I was abused as a child. My mom is a good person but she never really protected anyone in my family from my dad.

My dad molested me and when I go over to visit him he still does the same shit. I really don't like being guilted into """hugging""" him if he is going to pinch/tickle me, rub his face on me, stroke my body and tell me shit like "maybe I'm gay *giggles*". Thankfully he never raped me which has happened to some people on this site.

He would also get weirdly jealous/weird about when I cuddled with my little brother or sister or even my mom.

He would also whip me with a leather belt as a kid (up until middle school). Later he would lock me outside (often in pajamas/underwear) when I got in a fight with him somehow. I obviously don't remember the shit he did prior to middle school. (usually he'd get mad at me because I didn't want to do something for him, or because I messed something up [didn't do the something the way HE would've]).

I never had friends in high school and stayed home partly because he carefully undermined my entire family's opinions of them. Eventually I hid on my computer doing work because I couldn't do anything else. Even that had to be done with him in viewing distance, and when I had a social media account he made me delete it.

And then there was the yelling and "teasing" where he would belittle me and tell me I'd never be good at anything and that I was a worthless piece of shit. I didn't know how to banter with friends because I'd always hurt them. My teasing in high school was the same "teasing" my dad did and I didn't understand it was wrong.

I hope the fucker dies soon because I don't want him to hurt my brother, sister and Mom anymore.

>>8859044

I appreciate it, I do. I am just saying there was no damage. Because I never told anyone, I never had to hear these sort of things as a kid. I was never told that I was damaged somehow, and so I didn't feel any.

One of the reasons I dont talk about it, besides it being poor conversation that would make people IRL uncomfortable, is because I know that people would take me shrugging it off as being condoning such a thing.

I agree that it was a moral offense. And if had been something that was repeated or with knowledge, some framework of moral identity at risk such as someone might feel if they had some image to defend, then it I might feel different. I can't imagine the hell I would've felt if I had told adults about him or other teenage boys that wanted to fool around. Later, as with the paper boy I mentioned, I would passive-aggressively encourage them and then pretend to be uninterested when in fact I thought it was fun. I just dont think its healthy to take a victim identity.

Two things can be simultaneously true: 1. It is wrong for boys to indulge in sexual behavior with young boys because if they dont have a strong internal constitution resistant to social pressure, they can become full of self doubt, feel shame and become emotionally wrecked, and that is probably true of a majority of boys, and it will wreck their self image and identity. All these things are true.

Simultaneously: 2. Without that framework, a child can experience such a thing and not feel damage. I assume this is a minority. I know there is a lot of pressure to treat sexual immorality as a horrible thing, but to me, it was just a dick and a horny guy giving into whatever frustration. Morally, it was a big breach of decency, but thats because we define such a facile indulgence as being an ultimate breach. We have to treat it as such because it would be too easy for so many to do and make a habit of, and become warped themselves, and that would make a warped society...

>>8859998
>He would also whip me with a leather belt as a kid (up until middle school). Later he would lock me outside (often in pajamas/underwear) when I got in a fight with him somehow.
Did he do the same to your siblings or did he have in in for you particularly for some reason?

>>8860443
All of us.

My sister is making the mistake of fighting back, so she's getting in deeper trouble.

>>8859998
You need to confront him and tell him that because of what he did to you, you don't want any form of physical contact with him or you are going to stop visiting him.
Set some clear boundaries to protect yourself.
If he can't live with him then he doesn't deserve your presence.
Maybe tell the police if you think he is currently physically or sexually abusing your mother or siblings.

>>8860428

So I get the perceived, wholly natural notion that it was an ultimate breach of morality. But that is the abstract. To me, it was just a horny young man giving in and making a human error in judgement under an extremely unlikely, awkward, confusing situation. He would never have initiated and the only other person in the room seemed to be encouraging him, not disagreeing with it. None of these are excuses, they are just facts of context. He was clearly ashamed since he avoided me ever after that.

I feel his conscience is punishment enough and proportionate to the situation. He is always going to remember it as a failing of conscience to confused biology.

To me, there is a difference between sexual immorality and criminal intent. Immorality is a ubiquitous challenge we all face all the time. People are constantly falling to temptations they weren't even seeking. Its different than someone who accepts sociopathic drives to victimize people and exploit them.

So it was immoral, a failing of his conscience. But I didnt feel any damage and would later go on to indulge the temptations of other teenage boys for my own amusement. I just thought it was fun. Someone would've had to known and explain to me why it was wrong, and even then I would've been doubtful. I know the law says I was unable to give consent by legal definition based on judgments by others, but to me, the person, the individual, I saw no harm in it. The next poster makes a good point

>>8859088

You make a great point. Because I was fine with it, I have asked how I would feel if it happened to a little brother, absent any other context.

And you're right. I would be furious, violently so. Because I recognize the responsibility of the older male. I would immediately assume exploitation and casual denigration of a child as a sex object, and the potential for harm psychologically. I do however would react differently depending on age difference...

>>8859088
Forgiveness is criminal in some cases. Enough of that bullshit. I blame the christians.

>>8860496

If, for example, it was a 16 year old being sexual with a 12 year old, I would be less incensed than if it was some 30 year old. I know there is some grey area in and beyond adolescence, both physically and mentally, thus the 'Romeo and Juliet' laws some states have to navigate some common sense so that every senior who dates a sophomore isnt thrown in jail.

But you're still basically right. I would be very angry, even acknowledging the general stupidity that possesses every horny young male, where you cant dismiss biological male disruptions in conscience.

Perhaps in a broader context, I have to add that I am very opposed to the cultural emasculation of men. I have personally seen too many good men's lives ruined by whores making accusations against men who didnt do anything more horrible than pursue someone sexually. I've seen women lie, try to rope me into their lies just out to attack a man in a legally vulnerable way.

So I admit being predisposed from later life experiences to be very suspicious of anyone who thinks every erection is a potential crime. There is a big distinction that is politically incorrect to make aloud; that there is a difference between a woman who is attacked, or robbed of her social premium as a good girl and marriage candidate where the culture places a premium on chastity, and some whore dating a new guy every other week claiming she was damaged by seeing a dick. I just dont suffer the notion that dicks are instant damage very well and admit, I personalize that...

>>8860577

For example, I am glad that sex offenders are prosecuted by legitimate authorities charged with maintaining some semblance of morality. But I am totally creeped out by people who spend their free time posing as kids online for free so they can obsess on pedophiles all day, such as

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Echols

... who, in the end, was running a website where he collected pictures solely of male abuse victims and dedicated every moment of his life to finding a reason to orbit the company of child molesters and kiddie porn.

>>8860513

We had a case recently where they were about to send a man to jail for years because he was a teacher who had a relationship with a 17 year old girl student.

She completely understood why it was being treated as a crime but she really cared about him and pleaded for him not to be sent to jail and have his life ruined. He was of course fired. He received a modicum of time, six months I think. The court acknowledged, reluctantly, that it was difficult to impose a harsher sentence logically when the 'victim' didn't see anything wrong and was pleading for mercy upon him.

When I was in high school, there was a cheerleader known for being promiscuous. She talked a black vice principal into getting a blow job. Somehow it was discovered and he fled town, his career essentially over. I have seen drill instructors lives ruined over consensual relationships with female enlistees. Prison guards in female prisons and female guards in male prisons are constantly getting charged with sex crimes where there is consent that is not legally recognized. You read about stories where grade-schoolers in New Jersey are being tagged as sex offenders for "playing doctor' with girls. Prison officials have gotten so frustrated with the legal attacks on guards that they have attempted to criminalize all prison sex as rape. Everything is upside down.

Sexual crime is a legitimate thing. But something about sex crimes seems to drag out otherwise unremarkable people to stridently come out of the woodwork to assert their own moral superiority at the expense of people already in a legally compromised position absent any context, and deliberately so. Because the more you ignore context and individual human dynamics, the easier it is to inflate one's sense of superiority...

>>8860639
>thinking I'm gonna read all that bullcrap
You sure are deluded.

>>8860639
To say nothing of commercializing it more and more. There are lawyers now trying to get paid for kiddie porn, trying to monetize it, claiming female (or male) victims of being depicted in kiddie porn should get paid for every instance it is viewed by court judgement.

This continues on as criminalizing 'revenge porn', another venture into criminalizing intimate, consensual male sexuality.

And then you have this nonsense:

https://www.inquisitr.com/2546541/colorado-sexting-scandal-rocks-high-school-police-say-students-could-face-felony-charges/

"The Colorado sexting scandal involving hundreds of students in the Cañon City School District has left parents in outrage, and police say some students could face felony charges.... Upon investigation, school administrators discovered that students were sharing explicit photos of other students and storing them on hidden photo vault apps. Those apps are often disguised as other common applications such as calculators, Fox 31 reports.

“It’s hundreds, and I mean it was flooring to us how many photos that we were finding on the phones that we confiscated,” Meuli was quoted as saying."

Or this:

US teenager jailed after flashing his penis in yearbook photo 'for a dare'

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/05/03/us-teenager-jailed-after-flashing-his-penis-in-yearbook-photo-fo/

Or the new attacks on 'hazing' as being sex crimes.

Im just fed up with the notion of dick being criminal.

>>8860658

>thinking the internet cares what you want

>>8860690
>where the fuck did I talk about wanting something

>>8860513
To forgive the most heinous of crimes takes vast strength. Holding onto that anger and pain doesn't change what happened. It only hurts you in the long run. Forgiveness is not acceptance. Openly forgiving someone who is not worthy causes them deep guilt, which is revenge enough.

>>8860807
>It only hurts you in the long run.
A baseless meme that some like to throw around once in a while. Anger isn't nearly as unhealthy as the food you ingest daily.
>Openly forgiving someone who is not worthy causes them deep guilt
You don't acknowledge that some people are evil at heart, don't feel any guilt and they love that kind of thing. Forgiving someone who is not worthy is morally wrong, wether that makes them feel guilt or not. If they're conscious enough to feel guilt, they don't need someone to forgive them to feel it.
>which is revenge enough.
No. It's not about revenge, it's about justice.

>>8860479
> Set some clear boundaries to protect yourself.
Confronting him and telling him I'm not okay with things he's done has only made him laugh at me before. It's kind of hopeless honestly.

> Maybe tell the police if you think he is currently physically or sexually abusing your mother or siblings.
I don't want to tear the family apart. I love my mom, brother, and sister dearly but he is the one who brings money home. My mom hasn't worked since she was in her 20s. My sister is still 15.

>>8847728
Its ok anon I am in the same boat. I hate being touched but I hate hating that im being touched.

>>8845160
Uncle bad touch got to me when I was 4 and it wasn't violent yet still fucked me up I just wish it never happened or I could forget.

>>8853466
Dude... you are cold blooded as fuck. While you are growing up, before enter the puberty, do you have dreamed about that thing?

What was your thinks remembering this when you became a teenager?

>>8845160

I know I've been raped when I was a kid but I can't recall it. You can call me a liar but I know deep down that something is FUCKED UP.

Whenever I think about it in a profound way, it always puts me in a state of complete emptiness, loneliness, fear and hopelessness.

Whenever I dream, a creepy stranger keeps popping up, making me uncomfortable and strangely aroused. The perspective is child-like, low and blurry. His appearance changes everytime but the feeling remains the same.

I also have all the symptoms of the effects of childhood trauma through adult life

>>8851123
>however, i cant help but notice a trend amongst my lgbt friends that almost every FtM has a history of bad relationship with their father, and most MtFs have similar mommy issues to my own. am i alone in this? wtf is up with that, folks

I had to deal with not having a father for about 12 years and then being abused by my father (my actual father) abusing me for about 3 years so your thero Y is kind of bunk.

>>8861748

Well, like I said, I didn't really think about it much. I dont know why you think Im "cold blooded".

I never even thought about it as sexual until long after puberty, and because I was sexual by then, none of it really seemed related or significant because I didnt think of it as sexual when it happened. I didn't have any real feelings about it one way or the other. Because it wasn't blown up by all the stuff that would've come if I had told anyone, it just sort of faded as being a memory of some absurd horsing around. I didnt really distinguish it as being much different than incidents of horse-play between boys. The only difference was dicks.

Maybe an easier way to relate it is being like if you were "playing doctor" with someone in your peer age group before puberty. If you have no sexual motivation, then it doesnt really stand out as significant. Its not like a 'first kiss' or 'first boyfriend' or even 'first sex' because being pre-pubertal, you dont attach sexual feelings to it. I liked attention from older boys generally in a nonsexual way, since I had no brothers and my step father barely noticed me, which probably has more to do with my actual sexuality than anything, at least emotionally, but its important to note that it wasnt entirely that either; it was a lot of things that disinhibited me from rejecting homosex; bad experiences with females my entire life, complete confusion as to why heterosexual family was at all preferable in view of my Jerry Springer family, a general rejection of 'normalcy' as a culture, nothing to lose socially. All this had much more to do, I think, with my eventual orientation than some fooling around as a kid...

>>8862007

...

I would also note that the age difference wasnt even a factor in my mind. To me, it didnt matter if they were 17 or my age, it was all the same nonsense horsing around. I didnt realize I actually liked boys until I was about 15, and by then had already been fooling around for years with no legitimate sexual interest. My interest in boys until then wasnt any more remarkable than most boys; I just had my own thrill from romping around naked with older boys that was probably more attention seeking.

For example, the paper boy, a neighbor kid, and I messed around quite a bit. In that case, he was legitimately perverted because it was sexual. But it never bothered me and in fact I would encourage him. But because I didnt perceive it as being wrong, I didnt feel violated at all (he eventually got busted). My cousin was a year younger than me and was always trying to mess around, not even really sure what his deal was. I had one scoutmaster come on to me around 10, but I pretty bluntly shut him down because it just didnt interest me.

So thats how I interpreted it; just horsing around, and the age difference between me and the teenagers never occurred to me as being anything especially relevant since I was used to being around them. It didnt have any sexual association, it was just other boys and not much significant about it. I knew they seemed to enjoy it, and I guess that sort of fascinated me as to why, but I didnt really care. I just thought it was amusing to see how seriously they took it since I didnt have any concept of sexual motivation during it.

File: maxresdefault.jpg (158KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 1280x720px

>>8862007
I think most people would simply break down by having something like that in their memories.

You are impressively incredible. Perfectly self-conscious. You have substance, boy.

>>8862281

Thats kind, I appreciate it. But I dont feel I earn anything since it was no effort and was just natural consequence. Just the perspective of a boy who didnt have any especial opinion of dicks. Like I said, by the time I was actually sexually motivated, it was with girls first, and when I realized I was turned on by guys also, I didnt even associate it with the 'horsing around'. It was honestly not a big deal.

It makes me think of my theory about sexually segregated religious schools. I have a theory that in all male settings, prepubescent boys probably mess around in their own age group out of curiosity before puberty and become utterly bored by it once the curiosity is over. Then when they hit puberty, girls are still something new and interesting, and there haven't been any negative peer experiences with female peers or competition issues.

I figure thats why Catholics seem to have a sort of gay vibe early on but end up producing the most virile heterosexual men. Maybe its just timing; god knows they have had their methods forever. I think experiementation with other boys has a lot more to do with heterosexual development more often than homosexual. If I hadn't had so many crappy experiences with females in my family emotionally as a kid, homosex may never have interested me. I didnt trust them, they often hurt me and I was always looking for intimacy with other boys both before and after puberty.

>>8859747
You could have ruined their career if you were a girl.

File: ayaaaaaa.jpg (7KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 259x194px

>>8862375
>I figure thats why Catholics seem to have a sort of gay vibe early on but end up producing the most virile heterosexual men

What the fuck is this guy mumbling about...

>>8845160

I have never been sexually or physically abused as a child.

File: 1498000627841.jpg (135KB, 767x687px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 767x687px

>>8845160
gay ftm

physically abused by family and friends, mentally abused by family, strangers, and friends, sexually abused by a family friend.

I have diagnosed ptsd (not some tumblr fuck claiming ptsd, actually diagnosed)

>>8845160
I was never abused as a kid but I do have really kinky fetishes about being abused and smacked around.