My childhood wasn't exactly the greatest, I was autistic

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My childhood wasn't exactly the greatest, I was autistic from a not so loving family, and was treated like shit at school as well. When I realized I was gay at 15, shit really started to go down hill. My parents were incredibly homophobic, and I was on the brink of being kicked out of my house, and I lived on edge for several years, never being able to express who I truly was. I felt ugly, hated, and undesired, like no one wanted me I was depressed, and wanted to die, I wished every day that someone special would come into my life. When I finished high school I decided to run away in a manner. I got into a uni on the whole other side of the country, and decided I would never go back. At 19, I met a man, he was almost 28 at the time, he was on the heavier side, and far from a prince charming of my dreams, but he was the only person who ever cared for me, and I fell into his arms, after maybe a month of seeing him, I moved in with him, and felt like I truly loved him. Sometimes I felt like he only wanted me for sex, and he was rude to others, but I felt like he was protecting me. I lost a lot of friendships by not saying anything. Now I'm almost 25. I am still with him, the spark I saw in the beginning is gone, and I know I settled way more than anyone should have ever. But I don't know what to do. I threw away everything I had for him, I don't know any thing else. I have no one else in my life to turn to, nor the capability to live on my own. What do I do?