>ftm
>best friend has expressed crush on me numerous times over the last 2 years an made me feel horrible dysphoria
>still friends because I was desperate for friends
>now he thinks I have a dick because I showed him a pic of me in underwear and pack around him now
>I asked once and he denies feelings now but I'm still scared
I'm still pre t but very andro, most strangers label me male, and have gotten a lot more masculine than when he first liked me. The complication is that I have feelings for him romantically but would never never want to kiss or bang him, and the thought of him wanting to do that or jerking off to the thought of me makes me suicidal. We cuddle when we're alone together very often, and even though he never has a boner even if we spend the entire night and morning holding each other, does that even mean anything?
I guess I'm just paranoid because closer to the beginning of our friendship he told me he only talked to me because he wanted to fuck me. He made it pretty clear since then he wouldn't stick around if that was the case, but I just really really don't want him to like me that way.
Is there any way to know if he does? Is it possible for a virgin guy like him to even have this sort of relationship where we cuddle and can be sort of sub/dom at times, without him thinking sexual thoughts? It would literally make me want to die if that was the case, but l need to know.
He loves you. You sound typically female in the way you're ignoring the obvious, no offence.
Experiment: tell him you are considering not transitioning and have feelings for him.. See what happens.
>>8827118
I'm not ignoring, I just want to know if it is true or not. Is there a way he could just have asexual "love" for me, the same way I do for him? I mean the no boner thing...
I also did do the "I have feelings for you" thing which led to us not talking for a few weeks because he said some horrible graphic stuff about what he'd want to do to me and I still feel disgusted and sorta traumatized/hurt because of it
>>8827729
Either way he'll never meet anyone else if hes clinging to you all the time. You should tone it down a bit and help him get a girlfriend, that way your original problem wont even matter
This sounds like a bad relationship both ways. You should just stop talking to each other.
>>8828845
He wants to fuck you which he made abundantly clear at the start of your "friendship" and you don't seem to like the idea of fucking at all. He'll never respect your wishes and you can't change people. Time to cut your losses and move on.
>>8828862
Yeah but that was when he thought I was a girl and I presented a little more fem, plus now he thinks I have a dick which made him actually start to see me as a guy at least a little. He won't respect my wishes? I mean, seems like he has so far but my paranoia and obsessive worries about it and things he's said in the past keep coming up.