So good to be asexual. Drama free life. No desire to touch people's

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>So much time to dedicate to other things
Such as shitposting on the internet's latrine.

>>8806827
So much time to dedicate to opening insecure threads on a San Franciscan estrogen-enhanced phallus connoisseur site. :^)

>>8806827
some people say that those who buy into lgbtqyafiog bullshit are just looking for attention

youve made it clear that this is the case for you

>>8806827

I don't know overmuch about asexual people, but don't you get lonely, romantically speaking? Even for people that experience sexual arousal and desire, those feelings aren't always without a desire for intimacy.

Just curious

>>8807748
I'm not asexual but I'm in a pretty long dry spell right now. Eventually I got used to the lack of romantic attachment. The lack of drama is kind of nice.
If an opportunity for a relationship presented itself I wouldn't refuse it, but I'm not actively seeking one either. At this point a relationship would be a huge change in my life which is scary.

>>8807748
Some people claim to be asexual but not aromantic. Or vice versa, or both.

Is asexual supported by science? Curious.

I don't get your post, OP.

No sex drive means anything sexual in nature just feels awkward and awful to me, directly limiting how intimidate I can be with a significant other should I acquire one in the future.

I'm filled with fear and dread, yet here you are being happy about it. Do these things just not concern you at all?

>>8807924
it is called loving and accepting yourself and your circumstances.
you don't need to worry about things you cannot control or change.

>>8807955

I feel like you're not thinking this all the way through...

>>8807963
not them but it sounds like you lack faith. not god-faith, but self-faith
>I'm filled with fear and dread
seems to allude to the idea that when you have the opportunity to connect with someone, that you will fail at it. this makes me think of a couple things.
1. it's more likely than not that you will fail at relationships in your lifetime, should you have any. people are very complex and chemistry is a difficult thing to balance without a lot of effort from both parties
2. you need to trust that when the time comes, you will make the decisions that make the most sense to you at the time, because there's no way of knowing what decision will lead to what outcome. this is the inherent unpredictablility of life. it might end badly, but you couldn't have known that it would until you try. believe in yourself, and the decisions you make, and learn from any mistake.

I consider myself asexual to an extent, but that's because I'm pursuing asceticism as a way of life. I never feel alone because of my faith in my god (a pantheistic god) is the source of all my love and I can count on it being there like I can count on the sunrise. this trumps any love a person could make me feel, though I'm not against the idea of allowing people to try

>>8807963
I feel like you're an anxious control freak

>>8807779

Yeah, that can be an intimidating prospect the longer you go without really making an effort. I didn't date from 21-27 (28 now), and it was hella scary at first putting myself out there.

Also, I feel like a lot of people have unhealthy (negative) expectations for relationships, most often surrounding the concept of drama. I feel like everyone imagines something different when they hear it or talk about it. The best thing I can't think to say is that as long as you communicate well and openly with a potential partner, and are willing to make compromises, drama tends to be pretty infrequent. If they won't communicate openly with you and expect you to just "know" things, this is a good sign that you should look elsewhere. Just my two cents.

>tfw involuntarily asexual

>>8806827
I recently had a 2 hour argument with a TERF who claimed you can't be both ace and trans
No one is safe

>>8808490
They think we're all predatory satyrs - even if you've had SRS.

>>8808492
>predatory satyrs

i think the words they use are "gross rapists" but okay

>>8807995

Perhaps that's true. I've followed a very specific career goal that I laid down and I'm currently a second year med school. I need to be prepared for things. I don't ever want to be caught in a situation where I go "shoot, I should have done X and Y." Perhaps anxious control freak was too harsh of a term because it does hurt my feelings to hear that, but I don't think you're too off. ;_;

>>8807986

I'm nearly 27 now and I'm constantly hearing about how sex is a huge part of any relationship. And based on what I've observed, I'd agree with them. I find the notion sharing the greatest expression of love by having sexual intercourse with your lover to be incredibly romantic and incredible, conceptually speaking. What happens when I do find someone that loves me as much as I love him? He will want to have sex, wouldn't he? And I would absolutely love to oblige him on that and I just wish I could share that expression of love with him, but even something as normal as masturbation feels like I'm more or less trying to rape myself because of how awkward and unpleasant it feels.

I've only successfully masturbated once in my life and I'm hoping the mood to do it again does return at some point, but what if it doesn't?

What even is being asexual? Is it just the lack of sex drive, the desire to not have sex? Isn't preference for the gender of your partner based on that? How can I say I prefer men if I don't even know if I want to have sex with one? I know for a fact that I wouldn't really like to try having sex with a woman. But if we were to consider a hypothetical situation where an amazingly loving and soft and caring woman consistently expressed her desire to be with me, I might just cave in but not because of any sexual attraction whatsoever.

I can't even perform the most basic task of figuring out whether I conclusively like men or women because I'm relatively certain sexuality has some say there. How can one NOT be worried here?

>>8807963
Stoic philosophy is literally the best way to find happiness in life, worrying about t things beyond your control accomplishes nothing but elevating your stress and reducing your lifespan

Are asexuals the centrists of gender theory?

It's like you're applying the horseshoe theory to who you're, lol.

>>8809335
Don't be autistic

>>8808596
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to other people. Some asexual folks have sex drives, some don't. If they do, sometimes they'll deal with it through masturbation (like scratching an itch) or sometimes they will have sex with someone (if they aren't sex-repulsed, which a lot of aces are).

While sex definitely can be a large part of a relationship, it's more sexual compatibility than sex itself, but a lot of non-ace folks don't seem to realise this. Just because two people aren't ace doesn't mean they have the same sex drive, desire to engage on the same schedule, same sexual interests or kinks, etc. And this is why a lot of non-ace relationships have issues around sex. But that's a bit off topic.

You can definitely find a partner who is fine with you being asexual (or just not interested in sex). I'm 27, like you, and I've had two long term partners who were fine with me being ace. Both of them were completely fine with us not having sex or really engaging in any sexual activity together (I'm fine with kissing and cuddling, but once it gets to a certain point, a big alarm goes off in my head and makes me feel very uncomfortable).

If you don't ever feel like masturbating again, that's okay. Masturbation is about enjoying yourself, and if you don't enjoy it, then it isn't for you, simple as that.

Also, sometimes aces do have trouble distinguishing between romantic and platonic feelings. But I find it easier if I compare a few relationships in my life to see how they make me feel. My relationship to my younger cousin makes me feel protective and motherly and that I'm just so proud of her existence, and that is very obviously a familial bond. My relationship to my roommate makes me happy and smile and feel like I've found someone I can be myself around, and that's a friendship. And then I've dated people who make my heart warm and butterflies act up in my tummy and whose mere existence makes the world okay, and that, to me, is romance.

1/2

>>8808596
So maybe you're straight or maybe you're queer or maybe it doesn't matter what your label is, and you'll just fall in love with someone regardless of gender. Someone's gender only has an effect on your sexuality in terms of describing it to someone else. For me, I like all genders romantically and none sexually. Some people call that "panromantic asexual," but I just call myself asexual, and if someone needs to know who I'm interested in romantically, I can answer that, but it's usually just on a need-to-know basis.

I've rambled a bit here, but I hope I helped answer some of your stuff in some way. You seem very sweet.

2/2

>>8809483
>>8809479

My goodness, I feel like a very responsible senpai gave me an in-depth explanation on the topic. Thank you for taking the time to type all this out.

I guess my main conflict comes from the fact that I actually did enjoy the one time I touched myself successfully, and thought about how wonderful it would be to share these sensations with a significant other. Conceptually I'd like to have sex with someone I love dearly, but I guess my brain doesn't for some reason.

I may have been to focused on the sex aspect of relationships (since that's where most of my worries are) but you're right, having someone you can adore and simply share the dokidoki feelings in your heart with is also important.

Same here, m8.

>>8806842
That's......a stretch

>>8809536
No problem, kouhai.

In terms of liking the idea of having sex with someone but not enjoying the actual execution, asexuality is a spectrum, and people fall all throughout it. Some people are in a subsection commonly called "demisexual" which means that they only feel sexual attraction to someone they have strong feelings for, and some people use the term "greysexual" for meaning they are somewhere in the ace spectrum, but maybe under certain circumstances or with the right person, they could feel desire to have sex with them. You could be somewhere along that, but again, not a huge deal if you aren't.

I also understand focusing on sex in relationships. I didn't date at all through my teens/early 20s because I felt like no one could ever love me because of being ace. I was hyperfocused on how important sex is to people, due to how much people tend to talk about it, especially openly. And I'm not going to lie and say that everyone will be okay with asexuality. I've had plenty of people turn me down because of it (though I think of it as a two way street; they can't date me, but I also can't date them).

Again, I've rambled and gone a bit off topic, and I don't even know if you'll still check this thread, but I hope I've helped even a little!

>>8812502

It was so incredibly helpful and eased the some of the burdens on my mind, senpai-anon. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to reply to me.

Would it be okay for me to contact you outside of this thread in the future? Through a messenger perhaps, or email?

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>>8806827
Try being asexual yet desiring someone to cuddle and hold hands with and just be planktonic but super cute

>>8812533
Sure! You can email me at throwaway000 @ tuta.io and we can figure out something over that.

>>8812576
sounds boring af