Memorial thread >When I was a 5 year old cisgirl I had a

RIP.

It's sad that so many people like this exist in the world. Surrounded by people, yet completely alone and hopeless.

Kinda have a feeling this is how I'm going to end up. One day I'll just stop trying and give in to the crushing emptiness inside.

>>8776226
Whenever I see people saying things like it's wrong and degenerate to encourage young people to explore their feminine side, I unironically want to rip their throats out. Brittany was born too soon, into a hateful place. It's not fair that I was allowed to be as masculine as I wanted, and she was punished for painting her nails and growing her hair out.

>>8776246
Totally. Even those born today will most likely be 'born too soon', due to how long it takes for public acceptance to be common. I mean, a high percentage of gay/lesbian people still get treated different, or in more extreme cases assaulted, kicked out from home, or worse :(

Even when the old generation die out, they've still managed to pass their views onto a lot of gullible people that lack the capacity to think for themselves. It's getting better as time goes on, but there's still such a long way to go.

Even in the UK, I overhear homo/transphobic comments on an almost daily basis. And that's in an office environment where most of us are in our 20's.

I know you probably didn't have it easy either, even if Brittany received more of a backlash from family/society for just wanting to be herself.

Why can't the world just accept us for who we are/want to be, especially when we aren't hurting anybody and just trying to go about our lives.

*curls into ball*

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>>8776293
I wish I could have saved her, family
I was just ignorant about what was happening

>>8776130
Live openly as gay men or face death. That is the real lesson.

Trans = Gay Erasure

>>8776246
When were you both born?

>It's not fair that I was allowed to be as masculine as I wanted, and she was punished for painting her nails and growing her hair out.
: (

>>8776319
I was born in 1993, she was born in 1990.

RIP me. I'm going off soon.

Piss.

>>8776388
Too real, shit is and was hard for us 1990ers

>>8776307
Are you actually retarded?

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>>8776388
The living may not hear them. Their voices may fall upon deaf ears. But make no mistake - the dead... are not silent.

>>8776735
No, if he had been willing to live openly as a gay man and abandon his fantasies of being a woman he would still be alive.

>>8777519
How do you figure?

>>8776735
It's just false flagging or bait. Ignore it.

Pretty sure "gay erasure" is a meme /pol/ invented.

>>8776130
I'm so sorry for your loss, anon. This one hurt me. I'm not sure why this one hurt more, maybe it was your humanizing perspective, maybe it was how indifferent and callous the parents were even after she took her own life.

I think it was your pain though. I could feel your hate, and for a moment all the rage and frustration of a lifetime felt new again.

May Brittany never be forgotten, and may those who couldn't see the writing on the walls read only those words in their minds for the rest of their lives

rip all the countless trans suicide deaths who never even told anyone else they were trans

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>>8776500
The 90s were a sad time. I hope you're doing alright for yourself.

>>8777514
You'd better fucking believe it

>>8777691
Thank you genuinely for your sentiments. Brittany's life wasn't in vain. I swear I'll create some meaning out of this, somehow.

>>8777769
I never want to go another day without acknowledging this ongoing loss, RIP

>>8777889
Sometimes I'm this angry, too. But I don't want to spread more hatred and misery, cishets are already cornering that market. Anyone know how I could start helping trans youth in my area? It's kind of a small town, so not a lot of resources

>>8777889
>tell mom I'm trans
>she unironically doesn't care
>regularly tells me I look like a guy just to fuck with me
>Called me and my bf faggots, says my bf is gay for loving me
>Says that gender dysphoria is the same as how she wishes she was taller
>Try to kill myself with sleeping pills
>She doesn't even fucking care. The only one who even thought about it was my bf
Sometimes I think it's better to die early and silent.

>>8777519
this is good bait because I'm biting anyway, in spite of knowing its just trying to annoy me enough to respond.

>feminine
>automatically a gay guy

Have you heard of metrosexuals anon?

>>8777519
Hi susans hon

>>8777962
>Sometimes I think it's better to die early and silent.

Mother is the same way, only she has abused me since I was a child, my earliest memories are some of attempting to commit suicide. She would beat me sometimes (Though was the rarest form of punishment for her, probably only happened a total of 10 times). Then she would do things like lock me in my room for days at a time with literally nothing but a blanket in the middle of the room. Several other punishments I won't go into, when I was 7 I was so fucked up from something she did that I thought at the time it would fuck with me for the rest of my life and honestly, although I don't remember exactly what it was, I was even less normal from that day forward.

At 8 my Cousin raped me, really harshly too, beat the shit out of me when I resisted. Forced me to suck him off then take it in my ass. Not a fun memory.

Add on to all this gender dysphoria and you have one fucked up human being (me). Used to roll with "The wrong crowd" in my late teenage years (Mostly gang members not going to say which ones). Had several points in time where those gang members pulled guns on me and didn't even flinch. They knew I didn't hold any value in life and they respected me for it. Funny enough, when I told them I was trans they didn't abandon me either, in fact they supported me and said things like "You'll make a fine piece of ass" etc etc...

Weird fucking life. Don't know what else is coming for me, but do know tried to kms before multiple times. Point is, you can make it through it if you try. Tell her she is jealous that she's uglier than a girl with a dick or something to get at her.

>>8778724
>Several other punishments I won't go into
I have a horrid morbid curiosity at things like this. I feel like I need to know so I can knew just how bad it was.

>>8778724
Wait wait you mean to tell me gangsters respect edgy transgirl nihilism? I dont believe you. However in the off chance this is true, that's interesting af

>>8777962
your bf is gay anon

>>8778744
Honestly I think the worst one was being locked in my room for those 3 days. She did it right after we moved into our new house. I was home schooled so she allowed me out to eat once a day and to do school work. I was allowed to use the bathroom twice a day, but I had to keep the door open and she stood right outside. I also had to keep the door open when I showered during this time. I was treated like a prisoner in solitary confinement, oh and that happened because I picked my nose.

Other punishments I will have to think about, I know she took the phrase "Wash your mouth out with soap" literally one time, and made me ingest toxic soap (minimally toxic I should say) which made me sick, and then she treated me like shit for throwing up on the floor after basically forcing me to eat hand soap because I was rhyming words, and didn't know what the word "Fuck" meant at the time.

>>8778788
First of all, I didn't just come out as trans as soon as I met them. We used to drink each other under the table and talk about the fucked up shit that happened to us growing up. Back then it was a fifth of 151 every day. They had respect for me because I stuck up for what I believed in, regardless of what everyone else said, I would say my mind and leave it at that. I wasn't afraid of death, even having a gun held to my head and told to take something back I wouldn't, so they developed a respect for me over that. I didn't see them for awhile and they asked why I wasn't coming around anymore. I was pretty sure they were going to kill me at the time when I told them I was trans, but I told them that I would tell them but we need to get drunk first. Got drunk, told them, all supported me and my decision.

So not really a nihilist in the same sense as most people. I recognize that nihilism is really ultimately true because it can't be reduced, but I also recognize that things matter to people and that's enough for me.

>>8778821
Thought of some more. She locked me in a car during the summer, because I wouldn't take my seat belt off because I was scared my fingers would get pinched as they are old shitty seat belts and already got pinched before. I was left in there for like 14 minutes or so before she came back out.

Funniest one I can remember is where she tried to embarrass me by making me wear my sister's clothes, but instead I liked it and acted like a girl the entire time. She didn't like that I liked it though and forbid me from doing it again and would punish me if she caught me.

Picked a flower to give to her from her garden, and she grabbed me by my arm and then yelled in my face about how it wasn't mine and I shouldn't touch things that are mine. Then took something of mine and broke it.

Sorry, that is about all I care to share right now. It makes me upset thinking about them.

Also derailing the thread, RIP Brittany. Love you darling, wish you were still here with us. I was born 1992 btw OP.

>>8778821
>oh and that happened because I picked my nose.
WTF?

>Got drunk, told them, all supported me and my decision.
Why did you tell them even drunk if they'd kill you? What did they say when they turned out supportive?

>>8778821
Wow that's fucked up.
Pains me to know that the near-universal assumption is that fathers are the abusers and mothers will always make the best parents.
I mean maybe your dad was bad too, maybe he wasn't around, but shit that's the second post in a week detailing maternal abuse that didn't so much involve beatings as psychological torture and fucked up bathroom surveillance and just a general absence of trust on both sides.
Truly soul-crushing.

>>8779032
Societally there's no support for someone who suffered like that, not the way there are support groups and clearly enforced laws and public awareness of sexual abuse (even if that can be misdirected, as you said about the near-universal assumption).

>maybe he wasn't around
My bet.

>>8779036
No but I mean on a basic level, even in the absence of abuse, mothers pretty much always get custody of the child unless there's a RECORDED history of criminality, substance abuse, child abuse, or in some cases (usually older ones) unsavory career choices.
I read Bryan Cranston's memoir not too long ago, and his parents separated when he was pretty young, like 11 or something, and even though his mom did okay with her kids, she was a bitter, neurotic alcoholic and her kids turning alright is more a testament to those kids' abilities than anything else. I guess it's hard to say it was the wrong thing, to give her custody that is, because her children are healthy and normal (apparently) and one is a wild success, but she was clearly a shitty mom and her husband might have been the better father.
My point is in simple custody battles the dad can pretty much forget primary custody unless he can prove the mom's a wreck and/or that he's a fucking saint. And it's based in the supposedly harmless sexist (and not misandrist!) notion that mothers/women are always better parents.
Good luck if the mother of your children is here on a work visa or something and decides to split.

>>8779071
>better father
*better parent
Why do I always proofread AFTER I post?

>be born intersex
>functional male
>vestigial female
>first experience coming out of the womb
>mom says what the fuck is that
>pokes and prods
>stabs her thumb into baby vagina
>calls me a monster
>gets into an argument with dad and blames him for it
>decides not to reassign me because lol bipolar
>occasionally tries to murder me with neglect at home
>like lying all day without water or food in the sun forgotten, covered in burns
>but it doesn't die
>somehow be allowed to interact with other babies
>exploring genitals
>mom specifically holding me down and explaining how bad and wrong me and only me, specifically my body is, so that no one else gets the wrong idea or anything
>manage to get raped
>manage to get blamed for being raped as a baby and get reassigned for it
>like I did it on purpose
>like I just shove painful objects inside myself out of curiosity
>continue calling me a monster for being different, for learning words to soon, for being defiant
>reading fox in sox with dad one day
>finally figuring out reading
>point to the written word fox
>say fox
>dad says well I guess you can just read it yourself now then
>leaves the room
>stops reading anything to me
>good thing I memorized the story
>sit there trying to read it to myself
>at least there was preschool

>>8779130
My first strong conscious attempt at suicide I was 9 years old. I've tried a lot of things, like jumping into freezing creeks during a storm, or poisoning, or walking out into traffic, overdosing, asphyxiation, but never directly because of the fact that my parents treated me like shit or tried to control me, or because they did nothing to protect me from others, or because of the fact that they always blamed me for my own injuries or because I felt like I was born wrong or something. It was because I was raised in such of state of inconsistent behavior and neglect and psychological abuse that I couldn't develop properly or understand any situation, and because my mind was put together in a way that was broken and incomplete as a result, I'd made mistakes experimenting and being curious and being naive and ignorant, and hurt others, that I'd actually come to regret my own existence as a source of pain for the ones I'd actually loved (never loved my parents. wanted to, but failed. I'm talking about someone else whose long dead here.) Regardless of any pain I've suffered personally, at the hands of others, at my own hands, regardless of any humiliation or indignity or unrealistic blame and punishment, the actual greatest source of suffering to me is the feeling when I remember hurting innocents or failing to protect others, the feeling of causing or allowing someone else to suffer and in that way resembling everything that I find disgusting in other people.

>>8779133
When trans people talk about their problems, I smile sadly, I try to comfort them, I try to tell them something that will keep them on a brighter path. I try to nurture them and build up their courage.

I don't take them seriously though.

They're problems of privilege. I'm envious of the problems that trans people have. Even the ones that kill themselves, I'm envious of being able to have that little strength and finding a way out through it. The feelings I have will never stop and I will never be able to give myself a way out now. There is no escape and there is no relief. All I can think to comfort myself is that maybe I can atone if I keep on living. Somehow.

I have no expectation of ever being loved again.

>>8779130
>>8779133
>>8779138
I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't imagine how you feel but please don't think that there's no hope. There's always hope. Even broken people can be mended. No matter how flawed someone is there are people out there who, if they grew to know them, would love them. You survived all of this with enough compassion to feel for others, even if you envy them, instead of turning bitter and filled with hate. That's commendable. You can turn things around yet.

>>8779075
>Why do I always proofread AFTER I post?
Iktf anon, I'm a fucking idiot.

>>8779138
> The feelings I have will never stop and I will never be able to give myself a way out now. There is no escape and there is no relief.

I believe that no matter how fucked up you are, if you work at it you will be able to get to a beer
better place. You can never undo the trauma that happened to you, but you can learn what your family refused to teach you, and you can unlearn the toxic things they did teach you.

Please Anon, don't give up.

>>8779130
What were your ambiguous genitals?

>manage to get blamed for being raped as a baby and get reassigned for it
What exactly happened?

>>8777937
I've bought HRT or at least blockers for a few young trans folks I know from going to LGBT groups and stuff, but if you're not LGBT yourself finding people to help like that might be tricky

keep on the lookout, befriend groups of LGBT people and if anyone seems like they might be repressed make sure they're aware you're someone they can talk to

>>8778788
I've only met a few in my drug-addled adventures but yeah, in my experience street gang types seem to have more of a respect for the sheer balls it takes to transition, and the resulting hard skin you end up having to develop aids rapport too

I'm far less scared of massive black dudes with handguns and county-wide weed operations than I am of middle-aged white dads in untucked suit shirts down the local pub in my hometown yelling about Brexit

>>8779032
I used to get beaten up every day at school, bad enough that once my upper body was paralysed for about 6 hours after having about half a dozen kids body slam me repeatedly onto concrete

I still think my dad's psychological abuse at the same time was a hundred times worse, especially in terms of long-term impacts, I have multiple nightmares about him almost every night and still full-on dissociate around welding and construction places (he used to take me to work with him)

>>8779578
had penis, balls, and a vestigial vagina

>>8778875
>Why did you tell them even drunk if they'd kill you? What did they say when they turned out supportive?

I don't remember word for word what was said, but basically they said I was like a brother to them, and they then corrected themselves and said sister. I was drunk at the time. I got drunk with them because I didn't value my life at the time, and still don't very much, and like I said in the previous post they said that I would look hot as a girl to make me feel welcomed around them.

I think you may be seeing gang members as gang members, and not seeing them for who they are, which is people. Usually really damaged people who have been through a lot of pain in their lives. Personal opinion is that if you are trans and are abused either for that or other reasons, you end up like me. If you are cis and are abused you end up like them.

>>8779130
How do you remember anything coming out of the womb? Babies are literally incapable of remembering anything until about 2 years old as the long term memory centers of the brain are not established yet.

>>8779032
I have a lot of respect for my father, he wasn't abusive at all but he had to work almost all day to support us.

>>8780141
How were you reassigned?

>>8780165
male
>>8780156
>How do you remember anything coming out of the womb? Babies are literally incapable of remembering anything until about 2 years old as the long term memory centers of the brain are not established yet.
I want to know who told you that and why you believed them. Did you verify the information yourself? Because it sounds like one of those things that isn't necessarily completely true but is also very convenient to tell people.

>>8779133
>>8779138
I want to explain something. I too was psychologically abused, neglected, physically abused, raped, and had Gender dysphoria.

My posts are here if you want to read them.
>>8778724
>>8778821
>>8778863

I can tell you with an absolute fact that Dysphoria has good days and bad similar to PTSD, but bad days can be literally as bad as the PTSD you get from being raped. In both you feel like you should have had control over something you had no control over and were abused as a result. The worst thing about being rapes is loss of control due to someone holding you down and being treated as nothing more than an object and the feeling of unsafety that you get as a result of realizing at any moment someone can hurt you badly, then you blame yourself for it happening in the first place. In gender dysphoria the worst thing is being forced to act a certain way that is completely against how you want to act because of the control other people have over you either through threats of violence or social control which makes you feel unsafe to be yourself ever because you are afraid of being caught, you are treated as your biological sex as opposed to being a person, and while you don't technically lose control in objective standards because of the social pressure you do lose control of yourself and are unable to be who you want to be.

Both are extremely similar to one another, and in all honesty, if you had to choose one I think you would be better off choosing rape. I say that because there is a hell of a lot more support out there for people who are raped. I mean imagine if there was a set group of people that went around telling rape victims they need to take their rapist as their husband or wife because it says so in the bible, and they are in the wrong for letting themselves be raped in the first place.

Trans people have to deal with this already, Less support, higher rate of suicide, GD is more deadly than rape.

>>8780192
this is a decent enough thing talking about it
https://psychcentral.com/news/2014/01/26/whats-your-earliest-memory/64982.html

Not to say that the rest of your shitty life is fake, but those memories are.

>>8780192
Human infant biology text books. Also, biologists. Also Neurologists.

The fact that of everyone I know who has ever thought they knew stuff from being prior to 2 years old turned out to be full of shit, or not remembering things correctly.

The fact that there is a very small segment of the population that remembers anything prior to being 4, and my own memories prior to 4 are almost non-existent, and I also thought I remembered my own birth but realized later on it was a recreation I made because of what I was told about it.

>>8780234
Similar to what he said, not saying I don't think you had a shitty life, but I can say for an absolute fact you don't have memories prior to being two.

Not to be the tone police but when people are hurting it is best not to challenge them on things that are immaterial to helping them..

>>8780253
hi tumblr

>>8780264
>Caring about people is so lame lmao XD

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It's kinda of a sappy story, but I wanna share with you people.

When I was just a kid, back in 2002 I had just moved from a small town here in Brazil to one of it's Capitals, I was a pretty lonely kid, I still am a pretty lonely guy, but that's a matter for other time.

I had met this kid named Daniel, he was pretty cool, we used to talk about Beyblade and other shitty anime that were airing in that time, eventually, we went to one anothers home and became really good friends.
One day we were watching Bionicles and The Mask Of Light (I still remember that fucking movie) and laughing about how shitty the whole thing was, but goddamn, if that was not one of the coolest movies We had ever seem - the movie had ended and it was nighttime already, we were sleeping in the same room and suddenly started to talk about girls and all those things, as it happens, Daniel was not much into girls - I had not trought about it yet (I blossomed pretty late when it came to sexuality) but suddenly Daniel put his hands in mine and kissed me in the cheek, I felt really weird, but it was sweet - After some time passed, we started getting intimate in a way that only clueless children can, It was sickening sweet stuff, and probably some of my kindest memories.
Eventually, we got out of the closet and became boyfriends, he was my first kiss.

One day when I was twelve, my mom received a call from Daniel's mom and started crying, I did not understand it, but mom said Dani was hit by a car and died in the hospital.

I miss Daniel, It might have been just because I was younger, but that was probably the first memory of something I can call love that I have.

>>8780253
Disagree. If someone is delusional, it is best to help them destroy that delusion, but it isn't without it's problems.

Part of the reason I didn't think I was trans for a long time was because I thought I was delusional.

>inb4 chirstfags some in here and say "HO HO HO you are delusional"
Fuck off cunts.

>>8780234
>https://psychcentral.com/news/2014/01/26/whats-your-earliest-memory/64982.html
This is a pretty dumb article that fails to differentiate based on the content and context of the memories being experienced, then sort of tries to wrap it up with some strangely forced analogy. The baby is not going to remember what it had for lunch yesterday. The baby has a much, much larger probability of remembering details related to being betrayed by someone identified as a caregiver.
>>8780239
>Human infant biology text books. Also, biologists. Also Neurologists.
A real one will tell you the truth: we don't actually know. You can remember things now in specific detail because they're built on a large history of other memories, but that doesn't mean the ability to form memory spontaneously and arbitrarily works at a certain age when it didn't before. Everyone should be able to pick out at least one memory at some point in their life, of something they experienced that they didn't understand at the time but ended up understanding in a different way once they had more information about say, sex or drugs, later on. The brain is definitely forming memories while it's in the womb, it's hearing words and tones of voice and pieces of music and conversations. It's not decoding them properly and re-encoding them as some sort of important information, but it's slowly growing familiar with and digesting them. The brain literally would not be able to grow at all if it wasn't remembering something. If no child is capable of remembering something before age 4 than no child would be able to use language before age 4.

You're basically full of shit anon, and can't back up your own claims, because if you had any of the actual credibility and qualifications to do so, you would be forced to admit that you actually aren't sure and can only say that you haven't positively verified it.

Most people aren't lgbt either. It used to be a disease.

>>8780289
>I am uncomfortable by things that challenge my expectations and assumptions, and will call this person a liar
>and then immediately admit that I basically just believe whatever other shitheads tell me without using my own critical and rational thought to question them or any sort of experiment to verify it
>literally will let other people tell me about my own mind and body
>and it is totally normal for me to do this to other people even though in my own case I perceived it as injustice
literally you are a god damn idiot. you are just a profoundly stupid waste of everyone's time. would you even be trans if it wasn't a trend right now?

>>8780354
>I express the advantages and disadvantages of a position I hold.
>WAHHHHHH YOU IS FUCKING IDIOT BECAUSE YOU SAID SOMETHING I DONT LIKE! HOW DARE YOU HOLD A POSITION AND RECOGNIZE THAT THERE ARE FLAWS IN IT!!!

Really? Is that your argument? I still stand by what I said retard. If you are legitimately delusional over something it is better to have that delusion shattered than to go on thinking it is correct.

Also I suggest learning critical thinking at some point. It might help you to realize there are some situations where neither position is a good choice, and might help you get yourself out of the delusion that the world is black and white.

>>8780327

You are literally expecting me to believe you, as an infant, remember your mother "saying" something about your genitals, the moment you were a newborn, and then poking at your genitals. Then calls you a monster. Quite frankly, that is complete and utter shit. I am not saying bad things didn't happen to you, that memory didn't though.

You are getting long term memory confused for genetic memory and other types of memory. Long term memory is the ability to play back something akin to a movie in your head about a situation that happened to you previously. Language does not work that way, you don't have to think about the word before you speak it in your original language. You just automatically know what to say to communicate. There is no thinking involved, and language is clearly dealt with by a different part of the brain because people with amnesia don't lose the ability to speak.

While there are parts of the brain that remember certain things from birth, you do not have the ability to recall the memory the way you did. It is physically impossible. I'm done arguing at this point because the very prospect that you think language is developed in the same way as long term memories is just completely stupid to me, and it's not worth my time to respond any further, believe what you are going to believe.

>>8780354
>>8780622
Also, you made up a bunch of shit about what I said lol. Like did you even read my comment?

>>8780622
this little explosion right here is essentially the exact result I expected when posting the things I did

you are incapable of controlling yourself, and others will always have dominance over you, over the things that exist even at the deepest parts of you, you are nothing but a reaction to your circumstances and you will never reach self-actualization with this kind of cowardly attitude that refuses to confront the contradictions and failures of your own being.

your life is a set of convenient assumptions that let you manipulate your emotions and the emotions of others in a way that is cathartic for you. there was never any chance of changing your mind on these things because you were never going to go back on the first reversal of the decisions that others had made for you. At one point you thought it was like this, and then you realized you were betrayed or foolish once and reversed the assumption, and then -you never went back to revise your position or question the circumstance of it ever again-.

You challenge me and say that I see the world in black and white, but all your arguments deal with things you assume to be absolute truth, despite your lack of expertise on literally any subject other than how you want to get fucked. In your world, everyone gets broken in, everyone is a loser, everyone is defeated, everyone has to accept compromises. Everyone has to be told what to think and nobody creates their own knowledge or morality, because to you, anyone who isn't like that invalidates the core principal of surrender that defines your entire being and lets you struggle through your miserable life without having to recognize exactly how much dignity you've lost, not because of how others treated you, or the lies they told you, or the way you were born, but because of the way you chose to define yourself inside. The way that you built yourself out of weakness and petulance instead of anything that anyone else wants.

>>8779071
>Good luck if the mother of your children is here on a work visa or something and decides to split.
My brother's marriage in the next few years if everything keeps going as it is.

>>8780275
fuck dude that's like something out of a depressing oscar movie about tragic gays or something, how fucking unlucky :(

at least you guys got to properly express yourself and knew each others' feelings I guess, the saddest stories in threads like these to me are the ones where both people go their whole lives without being able to be true to themselves, such as OP's

>>8780192
Did your formerly ambiguous genitals make transition easier or get any function returned to them when you transitioned?

How old were you when you were reassigned? What were your parents thinking to change their minds and have it done after all?

>>8780710
Honestly, It's amusing when I get the "wow anon you're so predictable I knew exactly what you were going to say! Now I am going to break down your psychology completely!" Then it's always followed by some bullshit armchair psychology about how I said things I never said because I believe one thing I must believe another.

The truth is, you have absolutely no idea who I am, and the fact that you think you can build an entire psychological profile of me over a couple of thread posts is so completely and utterly stupid, that I don't think you even realize that you aren't as smart as you think you are.

Still, I know you want a response, but I am going to give it to you anyway, because I want to.

I am not going to go into detail, but I will explain to you where you are wrong and where there is a clear contradiction in your thinking.

>Incapable of controlling myself
Nope, I have a lot of self control. In fact, I just quit smoking.

>Other assert dominance over you.
Everyone everywhere tries to assert dominance over every other person. If you think you have never been dominated you are more delusional than I thought originally.

>Self actualization
Good job buddy. Talking about a subjective state that is reached in many different ways as if there was only one path to it. Even assuming you were correct about the dominance thing, you are assuming I don't like being dominated.

>this kind of cowardly attitude that refuses to confront the contradictions and failures
Which is why I pointed out the inherent problems of the position I held. Good job again armchair.

>You don't change positions.
Again, assuming you know me after two posts. I change my positions all the god damn time. Used to believe in god don't, used to think multiple genders was stupid, now I don't. There are some objective things in this universe bud, just because I point out one doesn't mean I am bad or stupid for doing so.

cont

>>8780845
cont

>you challenge me and say that I see the world in black and white, but all your arguments deal with things you assume to be absolute truth, despite your lack of expertise on literally any subject other than how you want to get fucked.

See, this is how I know you think you're smarter than everyone else. You are accusing me of assuming things that have to deal with absolute truth, in the same damn sentence where you assume I am not an expert on anything.

When did I tell you what degrees I have and do no have? When did I tell you my credentials at all? You assumed I had none, for all you know I could be some hick from the sticks, or a doctor of physics. It's an anonymous image board.

Hell if I don't say here when I used "everyone" it was subjective to mean you don't literally think everyone is dumber than you, but you consider yourself in the top percentage of people and only say others are smarter as a token to others so you don't seem ignorant, you would probably try and disprove that statement.

>In your world, everyone gets broken in, everyone is a loser, everyone is defeated,
Not at all.

>everyone has to accept compromises.
Yeah, they do.

>Last sentence.

More insults from the person that things they know it all. Tell me oh great historian of me. Should I wear a blue or white shirt today? Since you know so much about me, and know exactly what I have been through in my life, and know that I don't stand for anything. Tell me, how can I hope to be as great as someone as you?

Fuck off, This is my last response to you, wasting my time with your bullshit edge.

>>8780845
I'm not trying to break you down or define you anon. It's not worth the effort. What I am doing is taking pot shots at your armor because you came here looking for a fight like a cunt because of something I said that threatened you. All I have to do is take something you said and extrapolate to some insulting conclusion about your identity then act like I am already superior and watch you lose your shit. I don't do it because I enjoy it, I do it because you asked for it and it's what you deserve, you pathetic degenerate. There was never any chance that I would actually take any of your criticisms about me to heart, nor that I would respect any of your laughable attempts at educating me on subjects you know nothing about.

>but I will explain to you where you are wrong
this is where you're really wasting your time, I can assure you, nobody cares about your opinion because it's not informed, it's not really rational, it's not really moderate and balanced, it's not even convicted or charismatic. anyone can tell that you're trying to repeat things that someone smarter than you failed to fully teach you. you remember but you don't understand. nobody has time to listen to a person like that.

>>8780253
>>8780289
>>8780354
>>8780622
>>8780629
>>8780710
>>8780845
>>8780874
>>8780895

I am going to get this thread back on track.

>>8780275
Sorry anon, I know it sucks to lose someone who is important to you.

>This thread
Fucking hell fate is cruel. I'm sorry folks.

Life is suffering. Why do people have to go through these things? I know so many people that are really struggling, it makes me so sad, it's such fucking bullshit that things have to be this way. The worst thing is there's nothing I can fucking do about it

>>8782899
be a real hero anon

>>8782952
more like a real an hero

>>8782965
more like actually try to actually be an actual hero and create some justice in the world or every concept of love will be degraded and violated until there is nothing left for you or anyone else

>>8776130
Sad

I dont keep contacts with anyone to know, mostly because I dont want anyone to know when I end it

>>8783044
Maybe you shouldn't end it.

>>8776319
Nothing changed, men and boys still cant express themselves, in fact its only getting worse

>>8776293
>Public acceptance
There would be more of it if straight people could take their moral brownie points and fuck off with their transtrender memes.

>>8783065
worse?

>>8783072
Not that guy but it's basically unacceptable for anyone to want a hug now without being labeled as gay, liberal, or retarded. Every person who wants love and tenderness has the outward facade of a brutal sociopath or is an emotionally damaged shut-in. Kids fuck more than they kiss. Abstinence makes you a social pariah. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, be the first to cry in front of your partner and you're fucked.

It takes the patience and strength of a saint to comfort a crying child on the street now, strangers will look at them with vacant disgust or annoyance, and parents will scold them for feeling bad and expressing themselves at all. They will get -angry- at them for -feeling hurt-.

>>8783086
>This post
>Tfw you're supposed to feel bad a fat woman died at a Nazi protest
I love what progress has done to humanity

>>8783087
honestly I bet nazis hug their kids

They probably teach them to ride horses and shoot guns and fix cars. They probably build and paint birdhouses together.

>>8783019
Americans in General are very flaky and untrustworthy.

>>8783096
Well
That's what pol would have you believe anyway
I'm gay and 23 still looking for a bf who doesn't wanna fuck off the bat. I've finally admitted that I have depression after it likely started a decade ago.
Yeah it'd be nice if men didn't have to be men but for the alleged equality feminists and lgbt is pushing for it still seems to exclude males
Yayyy progressivism

>>8783086
>It's basically unacceptable for anyone to want a hug now without being labeled as liberal
Maybe the liberals are alright.

>>8783087
>>8783096
The nazis literally supported eugenic programs intended to destroy all gays you dimwits. The world is way, way better than it used to be. You're part of the problem.

>>8783105
>REEEE THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT NAZIS THEREFORE THEY ARE NAZIS
No. You are part of the problem
>Everyone who disagrees with me is x group I don't like
Maybe you should grow some compassion and understanding and learn that we can coexist without being a fucking tool.

I never claimed to be a Nazi.

>>8783111
>Maybe you should grow some compassion and understanding and learn that we can coexist without being a fucking tool.
Nah, I can't coexist with people sympathetic to nazis. You're bloody enablers. One of you literally just complained about what "progress has done to humanity" right after saying they can't give a fuck that a woman was run over by white supremacists. Of course - of course! - it was important to note that she was fat.

>>8783118
>Sympathetic to Nazis
>If you ignore their posts, you win
Fucking white left is the worst of the west

>>8783124
Okay, how is this post not sympathetic to nazis?
>>8783087

>>8783118
Like you appear to be just talking out you ass at this point. You are the problem, you're bring shit to the world without thinking of the consequences.
I'm no Nazi,
I'm no Nazi sympathizer
I treat people as people not accessories to boost my "moral brownie points" like you assholes do.
You enable hate on LGBT and women and minorities because you're not actually helping us, you're just pretending to for them likes, shares, follows and retweets

>>8783126
Are you implying you aren't described appropriately here?
>>8783066
And here?
>>8783128

>>8783128
>I'm no Nazi sympathizer
Nah that post is a pretty clear example.
>>8783087

>You enable hate on LGBT and women and minorities because you're not actually helping us, you're just pretending to for them likes, shares, follows and retweets
lmao is that why I'm posting this here anonymously? Get a grip. Your persecution complex is laughable.

>>8783134
Sure. This is not a public forum. I could not be possibly doing this for "moral brownie points" or to signal virtue. Way to dodge the question btw

>>8783086
why has it come to this?

>>8783139
Keep on virtue signalling then you fucking dumbass. Keep destroying the movements you claim to want to help for that sweet status.
Lest you get labelled a Nazi by some douchebag on the internet.

I actually feel bad for OP and other anons here mainly because of people like you but you're only here to stir shit because MUH EBIL NAZIS

I'm done with you

>>8783148
>An anonymous user is virtue signalling
How fucking dumb can you get?

>I'm done with you
Good. Get off my fucking site.

>>8783145
Not him but I blame:
Social media and unchecked progressivism that has stirred radical conservatism.

Social media and how we get and see news has dulled our compassion to the point it's just something you do to act like you care.
And left wing politics are out of control which has stirred the right wing and locked us into a one side or the other good vs evil political civil war.
A good example of unchecked progressivism is my home, Canada, our leader the foil to Trump is driving our country into the ground

>>8783158
Things used to be way worse.

>>8783167
And you were alive for that, grandpa?

>>8783166
>Tha evil joos
You're as bad as the left calling people Nazis for having differing opinions
Go back to your containment board.

>>8783169
>History can only be learned first-hand
ok

>>8783171
>I am silly tier post
Ok

>>8783164
literally actually succeeded in training people to react with cries of racism and accusation of being a fascist or a nazi for -judging someone based on their ideology-, they literally think it's racist to discriminate someone based on their morality and way of thought

it's so absurd as to be laughable if it wasn't so genuinely worthy of despair

>>8783166
>>8783176
Well it sure didn't take you long to go from "I'm not a nazi" to spewing nazi ideology..

>>8783158
politics are different to individual level social interaction.

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>>8783182
Not the same person you fucking leftis tool

>>8783186
>implying I am not creating a new power instead of using a broken old one
you have no idea what I have planned for you

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>>8783214
(you)

>>8783158
>A good example of unchecked progressivism is my home, Canada
If you are in Toronto or Montreal leave, you will notice that plague is only found in those places and some parts of Vancouver.

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>>8783158
yeah I agree with this, social media made us more alienated and total globalization diluted some basic social structures
you can see parallels to overpopulation experiments in animal models where the end result was total social and biological breakdown as deep as the loss of mating and maternal instinct with inevitable extinction

that's regardless of all the ugly politics and radicalization

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>>8783217
What the hell?

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>>8783341
well you reached the end of that rabbit hole.
get on some hrt and chill.

btw in the animal models, only population reduction (famine/bio) fixed the social structures.

ftw no mac n cheese n steak for breakfast.

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>>8783361
Ive stopped giving a fuck on a large scale and I dont even want to know about US rolling to hell, but locally its getting worse too, it all contributes to feeling depressed and hopeless for the future

>>8783217
id love to dom the shit out of a pol femboy

t. lefty

>>8783397
change ur media intake man

shit is getting better everyday, media just makes it look like shit because concern and outrage attract attention and attention is ad revenue

>>8783450
You know /pol/ "femboys" are fat hairy neckbeards with rainbow stripped thigh-highs, do you?

>>8783455
Better in what sense?
>>8783450
Gay dude or what?

>>8776130
thats horrible, I wish behavior like that was still an option for boys later in life. I hate how people can't be themselves because of something like this.

I don't want to try to self-insert but I see a lot of similarities with my past with the dressing up at a young age, liking girl stuff but doing it in private 90% of the time because my brothers couldn't relate. my parents made me cut my hair and I always cried about it. I developed anger issues and depression likely because of all that, got sent to an anger management therapist to handle what wasn't the real problem..
with age you become more of a man, expected to do man stuff no matter if you hate it or not.
now I'm 21 feeling like a full transition isn't an option at this point.
my parents now act accepting of this sort of thing, because they act so open to family friends coming out as gay. but I can't get out of my mind how they forced me into things I never wanted. and I can't forgive them for it. they weren't open to this when it mattered for me.

>>8776246
I really hope someday this stops going on.

>>8779032
my mother was the worst in this situation. by far
the solution for my feminine behavior was to make me cut it out and act normal. I can't stand when she talks about being accepting now. I never had any awareness that I could be trans when I was younger. and looking back at my behavior, it should have been plainly obvious because she was there for all of it, including when I hit puberty and she decided it was time for me to stop.

>>8783902
I started HRT at 21 and made a full transition. Don't assume it's too late.

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>>8784312
I mean, I am 25 and starting.
The guy here was 33 when she started.
Genetics are the determining factor for passing. Time isn't a friend, but people think that time is running out in their 20's and that simply isn't the case.

>>8783217
I am glad you knocked that guy down lol. I am pretty sure he was the one starting that stupid shit with me yesterday where I eventually had to put the thread back on track.

>>8784411
She doesn't pass. Brow ridge, chin shape.

>>8784411
>>8784424
Bull. She's cute.

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>>8783455
good if it's getting better for you, not the case for me and my country and society in general

>>8784411

pass as fuck but its the angle on that pic

theres no way in hell this guy would pass this well

>>8784411
I mean, it doesn't really help me because my genetics are fucked. I've already been told I'm handsome and closely resemble my dad..
I almost broke down in tears when I heard that honestly.
I've been trying so hard to cope with being a man with long hair or something.

>>8784424
I'd say she does, albeit some makeup does seem necessary. likely has a weaker jawline and chin than I do even at that age.

>>8784415
It's funny because if you ever go to pol 80% of nazi flag posters usually end up coming out as gay or bi and theyre always in their 20s, around 18-22

>>8784510
>being hated by the people you want to protect because of jewish brainwashing and having to engage to political and economic battle on their behalf while they kick and scream for you to let them get raped
SIGH

>>8785230
This.

>>8784502
>Makeup is necessary.
Yeah, a lot of women need makeup too or they are ugly.

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>>8776130