Trans, questioning, gender-variant, crossdressers: Do you experience

Honestly, I don't know if I can describe my experience in those terms or not. Maybe some of them?

Yes, although it's slowly getting better

>>8749636
Are you trying to diagnose trans people with DID? Perhaps to say we are mentally ill and delusional?

Fuck off.

>>8749693
not op but read http://genderanalysis.net/2017/06/depersonalization-in-gender-dysphoria-widespread-and-widely-unrecognized/ before jumping to conclusions.

Not really to most of those.

Most of these actually. Huh.

>>8749636
Something like that. I've found it neccessary to turn the connection on and off.

But then, other detaching notable personal abnormalities have amplified it.

>>8749636
MtF, before transition I felt all of these except for
>inability to imagine things

Ironically it's only now, years later, that I've somehow lost all imagination.

But being rid of all of those other things and feeling alive for the first time, it was the most liberating moment of my life. I cried tears of joy. I still get gushy thinking about it.

>>8749636
>Inability to imagine things

Is there any recorded case of this being cured by transitioning? I thought aphantasia was just something that was inherent to some people.

>>8749636
Green for yes, black for no

>A sense of detachment or estrangement from your own thoughts, feelings, or body: “I know I have feelings but I don’t feel them”
Feeling split into two parts, with one going through the motions of participating in the world and one observing quietly: “There is this body that walks around and somebody else just watches”
Feeling as if you have an “unreal” or absent self: “I have no self”
>Experiencing the world as distant, dreamlike, foggy, lifeless, colorless, artificial, like a picture with no depth, or less than real
>Being absorbed in yourself and experiencing a compulsive self-scrutiny or extreme rumination
>Having an ongoing and coherent dialogue with yourself
Feeling like a veil or glass wall separates you from the world
>Emotional or physical numbness, such as a feeling of having a head filled with cotton
>Lacking a sense of agency – feeling flat, robotic, dead, or like a “zombie”
Inability to imagine things
Being able to think clearly,
>but feeling as if some essential quality is lacking from your thoughts or experience of the world
>A sense of disconnectedness from life, impeding you from creative and open involvement with the world

>>8749636
I used to have all of these real bad but I'm mostly ok now

I still dissociate really bad when I'm around people, I don't think transitioning would change much
I'll probably never have a normal job that requires leaving the house because it actually fucks with my ability to do stuff

>>8750727
This.

yes it's called derealisation and it fucking sucks
t. straight cis cross-dresser

>>8749693
But you're mentally ill. And delusional. "I'm actually a girl, I swear" is as delusional as it gets.

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25KB, 302x389px

Used to have dissociation/derealisation (but not depersonalisation) before transitioning. It didn't help that I did a lot of ketamine in my teens, but I also remember feeling derealisation even at like 7 years old.

I still get derealisation sometimes but that's kinda on purpose, because I like the headspace of treating life like a dream.

these are the ones that apply to me in particular:
>"Watching myself go through life"
>Experiencing the world as distant, dreamlike, foggy, lifeless, colorless, artificial, like a picture with no depth, or less than real
>Feeling like a veil or glass wall separates you from the world
>A sense of disconnectedness from life, impeding you from creative and open involvement with the world

>>8749636
No not really. If anything I very actively don't feel many of these, or feel the opposite.

I guess I sort of have an ongoing and coherent dialogue with myself. Some emotional numbness maybe, but that's a direct result of ever-mounting anxiety that just reached a point where I've completely desensitized myself to it.

>>8750796
believing the jews rule everything that disagrees with you is a delusion

>>8749636
i crossdress because i think i make a cute girl and it's a fetish. would i like to have been born a cute girl? absolutely. would i transition? at the present moment not in a million years (complications, difficulty, stress, family, etc) but hey that could change in the future. I don't really feel any of those.

>>8749636
If you're asking if I have dissociative symptoms then the answer is yes. I had gender dysphoria before any of that started though, and it's mainly due to PTSD from my childhood abuse growing more intense during adolesence.

>>8749636
Trans here.

I had some psychotic issues stemming from trauma at some point and when I went into basic psychosis this was the primary problem. I just kinda sat around, rarely shitposted and occasionally fell down my stairs and slept for a while. Sometimes I programmed, mostly just stared at a wall. Always reported my mood to my psych as "Apathetic" but it was more of what youre describing, distant sadness or anger that was detatched. Music brought it back, especially the anger. Death metal pulled me right into this lovely trance of just smiling and headbanging and feeling full ree. It was kinda euphoric sometimes, found my favourite band then, it was comfy.

Anyway thats all over after rigorous therapy and im good now. I didnt feel gender dysphoria then (though i was still a trap/femboy and did gay lewds) and was contempt with being an evil dude. Came back once I got out of it.

>>8755364
>contempt
oops i meant content
I was happy being a disgusting corpse dude, now that I'm not fully fucked and just generally a bit shocked/depressed, my physical gd is back and I want to be a woman in a stable relationship and with a job and slightly less angry music again.