>be mtf tranny >several years hrt, not transition yet >not

>>8745744
Can you see a therapist?

>>8745744
Get a cute bf to tell you "u smol n cute" everyday, pat you and take the aggressive part outta you.

>>8745753
but that's the point, im not agressive anymore, im so internally feminine I repress it out of shame and fear

and when it shows up im ashamed

>>8745752
im thinking about it. its starts to seem like a last resort if other means fail

>>8745744
>Everyone in your life has already realized something is up.

>You're not hiding years of HRT or your femme behavior from anyone.

>Nobody cares.

>Get over yourself.

Seriously, you could probably walk up to anyone you interact with on a daily basis and tell them point blank "I'm trans" and they'd just be like, "Yah, we've all known for years and we're just being polite about it." They probably already have your coming out party planned and everything.

>>8745794
I know I am not actually hiding anything!
Everyone can see I have tits, everyone can see how young I look, there isn't a day I wouldn't accidentally say or do something that outs me as a tranny or a faggot

and yet im ashamed and try to hide it

It will get harder to hide. I tried to go part time for a day and I got funny looks for talking in a male voice.

You're going to have inner turmoil. Especially if you're like me and have been ostracized from your family. Find support, but avoid hugboxes and hateboxes(/pol/ for example). Be critical to yourself, but never be cruel.

>>8745827
>become your own boyfriend

>>8745832
the headpats just aren't the same.

File: 1419612735761.png (561KB, 640x720px) Image search: [Google]

561KB, 640x720px

>>8745827
people literally ask me questions like "why do I look so feminine" etc, trying to make me come out

I can't.

>>8745744
Im not too dissimilar actually OP. What helping me is to chip away at things. I tend to mix girl and boy clothes, maybe put on a little casual perfume or put my hair up. It's hard to go out like that at first but the shame is passing. I plan on going full time in the coming months actually.

Have you considered something like that?

>>8745853
>you're pretty. for a boy, i mean.
>you remind me of (insert femmy androgynous person)
>random person confused if you're a girl or a boy and switches pronouns multiple times in a conversation

Iktf, anon. I just want to not wake up one morning. I'm too disgusted by hons to ever want to be like that openly.

>>8745972
people often sir or madam me, and one of the co workers back in February wished me a happy women's day ironically, only to be hushed by others quickly

im changing job now and im afraid its going to be the same

that was a huge eye opener for me. and yet I still can't

>>8745972
>you remind me of (insert femmy androgynous person)
This I don't mind. What I do mind is when ugly and fat old men say I look like some regular guy when I'm standing there with my tits poking out and perfect hair. Like fuck off old timer.

>>8745779
why would therapy be a last resort, that's like the first resort

>>8745779
See a therapist asap
Especially one with a background/specialization in LGBT shit

You will regret wasting the time you spend hating yourself

>>8746476
because it costs money and time and it's not guaranteed to work

>>8746489
I already do regret it's been years

>>8746507
Ok well try a trans group meeting

It is possible to find a decent one just make sure you find one with age limits so it isn't filled with 40 yo hons

>>8746507
>making excuses instead of finding solutions

found your problem

>>8745853
yup. Remember 3-5 months in a friend's mother said to me 'wow, it's like your face is changing every day." All I could do was grin from ear to ear and mutter a 'heh, yeah, I really lost a lot of weight didn't I?'

Go at your own pace. People do not/will not hate you as much as you think they will. Those same friends I had mentioned, I expected them to tell me to get the fuck out the moment I told them. They instead accepted me, if shocked at the unexpected turn of events.

>>8746592
You really missed a teaching opportunity by not coming out to her.