I transitioned with the idea that I was not going to be perfectly similar to a cis-female, but, boy, I am so disappointed and devastated. I did not think it was going to be this bad. It is hard to explain, but, now that I completed my transition, I feel MORE dysphoria than when I was a guy. I feel more dysphoria, not less. How could be possible? As a guy, I still had hopes that with surgeries, HRT and lots of hard work, I could become a presentable woman. As a guy, I wasn't constantly reminded that I was a guy. Post-transition, I am constantly reminded that I am a man. Transition has been a rip-off for me. After I have done every imaginable thing to look presentable, I am seen as a guy impersonating a woman. I am suicidal. Therapists do more harm than good: they try to convince me that I pass and that it's all in my head and yet whenever I leave the house, I get clocked left and right, get sirred and anyone looking at me can see I am a guy. I get clocked before even speaking.Just yesterday I went to the salon to have my nails done and the vietnamese women are super nice to me and I tip them generously. However, I have always suspected in the back of my mind that they were talking shit. I do not understand a word of vietnamese. I recorded their conversations with my phone and forwarded them to a vietnamese translator and paid him. You have no idea how badly they were talking about me. This is just an example. Wherever I go (hair salon, nail salon, restaurants) I leave tips and I find out that they talk shit behind my back. I was hoping that they could at least say that I am a nice person with a good heart, but they are cruel and mean and make fun of my appearance. What I am saying is that anybody can see I am a man and I am devastated. I had every imaginable surgery you can think, I even had my toes shortened with a doctor who specializes in that (I lost almos two sizes), but still, I am seen as a man. This is the seventh therapist I change since 2004. I am a coward
What is it that gives you away?
>>8720781
Pics? We'll decide for you. You can cover your eyes if you want to maintain your privacy.
>>8720781
> I even had my toes shortened
>>8720803
I am not kidding, I had my toes shortened and lost two sizes.
>>8720795
what gives me away is face, number 1, then I have a long torso and short legs
>>8720781
Post audio or GTFO
>>8720811
long torso and short legs is a feminine feature though
>>8720850
Not OP, but I'm certain they also have a wide, thick torso and broad shoulders (that you see in most men), which are probably the most important traits aside from the face. Even if a woman has a passing face, the shoulders and torso (together) will usually clock her. Add that to the hands and feet, hips, overall size and height, and a good face no longer matters at all.
>>8720879
Of course, but OP only mentioned that one ratio as if it was the thing that would be clockable, which frankly I think is absurd. What you mention are far more likely
>>8720781
>I was hoping that they could at least say that I am a nice person with a good heart
Why should you be a nice person with a good heart if this is how you are treated?
>>8720781
I'm really feeling for you OP.
Sometimes we just can't win.
I had FFS and I still don't pass either, it sucks that some of us just never seem to have a chance at life. I couldn't transition when I was young and transitioning now was a mistake. The worst part is that I couldn't have just repressed, it just wasn't in my nature.
It's like some people are just cursed to be in misery no matter what they do.
>>8720781
This is what happens when mentally ill people follow their delusions. Hopefully you haven't chopped your cock off and is not too late for you to start on TRT and become the man you were always meant to be.
A beautiful man made of truth, not a hideous monster made of lies. You made your mistakes, now be man enough to admit and join us. /lgbt/ has nothing else for you anymore, nothing else but a life of suffering and social rejection.
>>8720962
Not OP, the second one. I started about a year ago at 22.5. Had FFS at the 8 month mark.
I new I didn't really have a chance by the time I'd hit 18.
>>8720912
In what made up world do you guys live where becoming a woman is paramount to your fucking happiness. Can't you guys see you are just deluded?
Tell me please, how are you exactly any different from an otherkin who thinks he's a fucking penguin?
>>8720987
The very same made-up world that you do.
One made up of chemical and hormones where the fundamental basis of who I am as a person is not up to me in the slightest.
Do you honestly think that I would have chosen this life if I had been given a choice?
If I could have been born female I would have. If I couldn't have that then I'd have chosen to have been born cis.
Fact of the matter is that humans don't have free will. Everything is determined by our biology and an almost mathematical algorithm based of our life events.
It just so happened that I was ready to kill myself because I got no joy out of life but people convinced me to try transitioning first and now I'm just hanging in there trying everything I can to salvage what I can from this shit hole of a world.
IF it weren't for fuck wits like you I might have a had a normal happy childhood and I wouldn't be such a waste of a human being but here we are. We're both rubbish, congratulation picking on miserable people makes you more pathetic than I am.
>>8720879
I respectfully disagree with you. I do not have thick torso or broad shoulders, but I do have long arms and short legs. You would be amazed, but from behind, short legs long torso clocks you a lot. I would be passable even with short legs if my face was feminine. I am not putting the blame on my surgeon, I just think the surgeon did everything he was supposed to do but that was not enough to bring my face in the female realm
>>8720912
may I contact you? I would like to chat more, you seem to understand me. I feel so cursed, you said it right. Yeah, FFS didn't do anything for me either and I do not necessarily blame the surgeon. I mean, he did the typical stuff (chin, forehead, nose, jaw) but that was not enough, my face is very masculine. I do wish that the surgeon had forewarned me that I was not a good candidate for FFS, though. How can I contact you off this site?
>>8720930
>you gotta take huge risks
I am fascinated by this, what do you mean by huge risks, though? would a huge risk be a risky operation, for instance as in a very aggressive operation to shorten my face? And this is not an operation that they do in FFS.
>>8720979
do not believe that if you had started earlier, you would have got much different results. There are actually many cases of people who started as early as 12 and you can still see the manliness in them. HRT is vastly overrated in the trans community. FFS is vastly overrated in the trans community. Starting HRT at 12 is vastly overrated in the trans community.
>>8721004
Now that's some bullcrap kid. You are the one who got deluded into thinking becoming a woman was a goal good enough not to kill yourself for, it could had been any other goal, it wasn't by mere chance or deterministic biology.
You knew it was a retarded goal, and you still went for it. Now blame me for your stupid life choices, instead of taking responsibility for your own life, congrats.
If you truly believe you are nothing but your hormones, you should have injected testosterone instead.
>>8720987
you are a piece of shit. I didn't choose to have these strong feelings of dysphoria. My brain was wired that way, period. I did the best I could do with the set of cards I was given.
>>8721029
>you should have injected testosterone instead.
you are a pathetic repressed faggot if you think that injecting testosterone will make the gender dysphoria go away, if anything, it will make things worse and make you MORE dysphoric
Just ignore him he's shitting up every thread on the front page
>>8721032
Pls, you would have transitioned early if this were true
>>8721032
>I didn't choose to have these strong feelings of dysphoria
Neither did I chose to have such disgust towards weaklings like you. I guess we are both just deterministic creatures with no control of ourselves. What's your fucking point, retard?
You chose a really stupid way to deal with your issues, by using escapism and delusion instead of facing what you are and trying to rise above it by leading a normal fucking life, in the extend that you are capable to do so.
>>8721040
>>8721044
You seem really invested in this, anon. Are you sure there isn't something you want to tell us? Go on, don't be afraid. We all know you want to be a cute girl and cry every night about how you'll never get to be one. It'll all be alright, anon. We understand you. We've been there, too. Now take your girl pills and be happy, sister :)
>>8721054
Project harder, bitch. I just get a kick out of it messing with deluded and retarded people, used to do the same with Christians.
>>8721029
Firstly, referring to me as kid is immature when I already stated that I'm in my 20s. What are you 30? Well I've got news for you if as a 30 year old you've got nothing better to do than troll on 4chan...
Also, when referring to myself as a result of hormonal influences I'm referring primarily to their role in determining the basic wring of my brain as a fetus. I couldn't inject myself with testosterone back then and it wouldn't have made a difference at any later point.
As for blame, there is a lot of that that I could distribute but for the most part I don't.
But tell me, what happens to a rat when you wire and electrode into it's brain and zap it every time it reaches for cheese? It stays away from the cheese. Similarly if I hadn't had to fight not to get my head caved in by homophobes when I was younger then I dare say I would have transitioned sooner and my quality of life would be higher.
Live and let live, anon. I wont be responding to you after this.
>>8721063
>do the same with Christians
kek
do you also woo m'lady while wearing a fedora? how euphoric does it make you feel?
>>8721067
>homophobes when I was younger then I dare say I would have transitioned sooner and my quality of life would be higher.
Not my fault you are a failure my man, I was hard-wired to be a homophobe :^).
-
There's nothing wrong with you, except your stupid delusions you stupid retard. Just because you played with dolls or did girly things as a kid doesn't meant you were meant to be a woman. Holy fucking shit.
>>8721077
>how euphoric does it make you feel?
As high as the suicide rate in the trans commieunity.
>>8721084
That's only like 40% euthoria, nowhere near 100
>>8721091
40% is just the attempt rate, too. Most don't even succeed
>>8721091
>>8721095
True that. Trannies truly are worthless for everything, huh?
>>8721063
>>8721084
>Project harder, bitch. I just get a kick out of it messing with deluded and retarded people
i troll too lol but at least i'm not a complete cringemonster about it
>>8721149
>I was just pretending to be retarded
>>8721151
praise kek borhter!!! xddd
>>8721161
>If I keep making fun of different internet communities maybe he'll get triggered
Keep trying, I am my own man.
>>8720781
>>8721038
let's talk, create an e-mail address and we go from there
>>8721179
You've gotten less and less edgy throughout the thread. You two should date sometime.
>>8723501
I only date real women, not men with strange fetishes.
>>8723619
If you wouldn't date yourself nobody else is going to want to date you either
>>8723619
Lmao you're still here. You seem awfully obsessed with tranny issues
Also
>I only date real women
>dating women
>spending this much time on a fag board
Kek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRyEyQyAg60
>>8720987
>I find it productive to shout stupid questions at people I can't empathize with about their disorder which I do not understand and have no interest in understanding
>you should have injected testosterone instead.
You should only attempt this if your levels are actually low - in RARE cases, gender dysphoria has been associated with low levels of the natal-appropriate sex hormone. Usually though, trying this sends dysphoria through the roof and greatly increases suicidality.
But you'd know that if YOU HAD ANY FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.
You're a waste of air.
>>8723713
>You're a waste of air.
Stop replying to me then, attention whore.
>>8722711
Try adding me at newdis#7391
>>8723740
I replied once. Here's your second: kys.
>>8720781
Sad story, how old are you now? When I hear stories like this it makes me glad to be a repressor.
Pics or it didn't happen.
>>8721161
Trump won bitch. Get over it. Thank Obama for creating the refugee crisis by killing all those arabs. Much appreciated but it's time for a different world if you don't mind.
>>8720850
>I am a girl, therefore I have girl parts, this is a feminine penis
>>8720987
>Can't you guys see you are just deluded?
>no (you) actually replies to this, they just scream assrage at Anon
Put the butthurt aside for a second and answer this please. Can you not see that it's a delusion? Like Cotard's, or body dysmorphia?
>>8726105
Trump won?
Wow!
Thanks for letting me know!
Post pic, how can you expect help without it
>>8726660
are you implying that having a long torso and short legs isnt a female feature?
because it is, women have shorter legs and longer torso when compared to men of same height
what is even your reasoning here...
>>8720781
>when i was a guy
i dont know how to interpret this tbhon most most amab females wouldnt put it that way i guess idk. i even avoid the term mtf because it implies at one point in life you were male which i believe to be erroneous for most of us
also dont feel sad about not passing the way you wanted, i think you're caring too much about what others """might""" think in the real world people talk shit about everyone and everything when i was still in the closet my male feiends would talk trash about cis women too. thinking that being pretty will fix anything is a big mistake. everybody is looking out for their own happiness and so should we.
this doesn't mean you have to copy the very thing you're trying to avoid, just make sure youre always your priority
>>8720937
fite me
>>8721027
this is true af, i idid adress this not long ago. as humans we like to blame situations or other ppl when something dowsnt go tge way we want and blaming transitioning ""late"" is one of the most common in the trans community however even tho age plays a role its so very minimum and there are many ppl who start transitioning at the age of 12 and do not pass as well as many who transitioned in their late 20s or early 30s
>>8721029
my mom actually had me on testosterone for about 2 years when i was 13 and it did not help at all. we appreciate your advice tho but i first hand know it doesnt work.